The Choice
by hipotamus
Summary: Bella/Jacob. Set during New Moon. Bella rescues Edward from the Volturi, but on returning to Forks, has to make the hardest choice of her life...the choice to be human.
1. Chapter 1

**AN**: This story takes place towards the end of _New Moon_, after Bella has rescued Edward in Italy. It is a Bella/Jacob story, and rating will probably change in later chapters!

This story actually came to me while rereading _New Moon_. Earlier this year my longterm relationship ended and like Bella I was a bit of a mess, not understanding how he could leave what I thought had been the perfect relationship. But I really feel like I came out of that experience a much stronger person with a better understanding and happiness with who I am. And I guess I just wanted Bella to have the same thing...

This is my first Twilight fic, so I hope you enjoy - annie xx

Disclaimer: Own nothing, but my goodness I wish Jacob was older and all mine...and real.

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I pulled my knees up to my chest and wrapped my arms around my legs. I opened the small window shade of the airplane just a crack and stared at the stars in the dark night sky. These past few days were a bit of a blur, everything happening so fast. And now here I was, on a plane back to Seattle, with Edward sitting next to me, his arm wrapped around my shoulders, and his eyes closed tight, faking sleep. I watched his pale, beautiful face and smiled sadly. My poor heart beat harder as I looked at him, and I forced myself to look away. This heart had taken enough beating.

The cabin lights flickered on and the sound of the captain's voice filled the plane. "Good morning, folks. We are beginning our descent in to Seattle Airport. Please restore your seats to their upright positions and stow your tray tables for landing."

I sighed. Charlie was going to kill me.

"Bella," Edward murmured, brushing a lock of hair behind my ear. His intense gaze was on my face. "What's wrong?"

I smiled and shook my head. "Nothing. Nothing's wrong."

What was wrong? I didn't know. Edward's words from earlier filled my head.

_Just tell me, whether or not you can still love me after everything I've done to you_.

Caught up in the moment, the rush of seeing him again, I'd nodded and profusely told him yes. Yes I could love him, _would_ love him again. I still did love him.

I looked back at his face, and his eyes were watching me with concern. My heart beat harder and I tried hard to keep the tears from filling my eyes. He was back now, that's all that mattered. But my mind strayed to those days, weeks, months after he'd left, that hollow aching inside of me, the despair, not understanding where he'd gone or why he'd left. That complete feeling of inadequacy I had been left with. The trauma. It hurt too much to think about that pain: that unbearable, ripping pain.

Someone once said that by loving someone, you were giving them the power to completely destroy you but trusting them not to. I had trusted him, with all my heart and more. I had put everything I had into us, into being a couple. I had let myself become half of a person – half of Edward and Bella. And he had destroyed me.

Tears welled up in my eyes and trickled down my cheeks.

"Bella," Edward said, his voice more than concerned now. He pulled me into his stony arms and brushed his lips against my hair. "Bella my love, you're crying. Have I upset you?"

"No," I murmured, choking back my tears. "No, Edward. I'm just – just really tired, that's all. It's been a long few days. And I'm worried about seeing Charlie again. After all, Harry died and I wasn't even there for him."

He shushed me and hummed my lullaby gently into my ear. The tears continued to trickle down my face, but my exhaustion eventually overcame me and I fell asleep, not waking until the plane touched down.

I barely remember the flight to Port Angeles, and then the Cullens, waiting for us at the airport, arms outstretched. It was as though nothing had changed, as though they hadn't left. Although the hole inside of me knew otherwise.

"I will never leave you again, Bella," Edward whispered to me as we followed the wet, twisty roads back to Forks. I nodded and buried my face into him, breathing in his scent. I had believed him once, and I believed him again.

Too soon I was waking up, Edward's cold arms holding me as he carried me from the car. My eyelids were heavy, and I didn't want to open them, but my father's shout of "Bella!" caused me to stir and open my eyes.

"Charlie?" I mumbled.

"Shh," said Edward. "Just sleep."

No I didn't want to sleep. I wanted to sit up, I wanted to see my Dad.

"What are you doing back here? What's wrong with her? Give her to me, get your hands off her!"

Edward passed me to Charlie and I whimpered as I left the stony body behind. In a few short hours I had become dependent on him again. I _needed_ him. The hole in my chest began to rip open. I reached for my father.

"Please don't be mad, Dad. Just put me down, ok?" Charlie released me and I took a few clumsy steps to the house, but almost fell. Cold hands grasped me under the shoulders.

"Let me just carry her to bed, Charlie. I'll leave straight after."

I whimpered again. I felt like the pain in my chest was going to explode.

"Not for long," Edward breathed. "I'll be back before you know it. I promise."

My eyes drifted shut, his words reverberating around my head. _I promise. I promise._

ooo

Waking up wasn't easy. I forced my eyelids to open, and glanced at the digital alarm clock by my bed. The glowing numbers read 4:58 am. How long had I been asleep? Where was I? Where was…

I sat up straight and my arms felt the bed beside me. They met hard, cold stone and I blinked, letting my eyes adjust to the dim light of the room. I could just about make out his pale face in the moonlight and lifted my fingers to trace his features.

"You're really here," I murmured.

"Yes, Bella. I'm here."

I gazed at him, drinking in the beauty of his face. My heart pounded painfully. "But you left."

He hung his head. "Yes, I left."

"And then you tried to kill yourself."

He smiled sadly. "Only because I thought you were dead, too. I could not imagine living in a world where you did not."

I looked at him confused. "But," I hesitated, not sure if I wanted to go down this path. "But, Edward," my throat burned as I said his name. "You _have_ been living in a world without me. What difference would it make if I were dead?"

"Bella," he started, his voice sad and a little hurt, but I cut him off.

"What have you been doing with yourself anyway?"

"Nothing, really. Well, I have been trying my hand at tracking actually. And Bella, I am so sorry." The words spilled out of him as though he had been holding back. "I am so sorry I left you in so much danger. I had no idea Victoria was such a threat. And to think that I left you in the hands of _immature werewolves_."

"They were very good at protecting me, keeping me safe." Annoyance fizzed under my skin. "Jacob never would have let any harm come to me."

"Jacob? Jacob Black?" He looked confused but then shook his head. "I am just to grateful that they kept you safe for me. I could never repay them."

"I don't think they're looking for payment," I told him, resting a hand on his arm to try and comfort him. My head felt heavy, and I needed to think. My eyelids drooped. "Edward, I need sleep. I'm barely coherent, and I feel like my brain is switching off."

"Sleep, my love. I'll be here, just sleep now."

I closed my eyes and slowed my breathing, feeling sleep almost wash over me. But I couldn't sleep yet, there were a million and one things I had to think about. The hole in my heart thudded harder still and I wrapped an arm tightly around my ribcage, trying to hold myself together.

It would be so easy now to take him back. To be a part of Edward and Bella again. But so much had changed since he left. It was like I was finally discovering who I was as a person, I was finally finding my independence, and I was almost happy.

I had been a catatonic mess, and with the help of my friends, my family, and especially Jacob, I had put myself back together, piece by piece. I had sewn my heart back together and began living life again. I could see the light at the end of the tunnel and my future had reappeared to me. I had started to dream about possibilities, and hours had passed when I didn't think about Edward at all. I had been surviving, and for the first time in a very long time, since I was a small child perhaps, I had been happy with who I'd become as a person. I'd let myself be carefree, let myself be a typical teenager and had fun.

And now the Cullens were back. And I could go back, it would be so easy, so natural, to just go back. But what would I lose? Even if I _didn't_ change for Edward and lose my humanity, I still could not keep my family and friends. Charlie would start to notice when Edward didn't age, as would everyone else. I could _never_ lead my own life. I would always be living Edward's life. The life of a Cullen.

But I loved him. I still loved him so much that it hurt, it tore at my insides and made my stomach ache. And I loved his family: Esme and Carlisle, who had become so much like parents to me, how was I supposed to give that up?

Panic filled me as I suddenly realised where my thoughts were going. I forced my breathing to slow so as not to alert Edward to my consciousness. Was I honestly considering not taking him back? This thought made my stomach ache and a tear trickled down my face.

I watched as my room finally began to lighten and listened as I heard the sound of Charlie wake up, bumping around noisily in his room followed by the shower running. Slowly I sat up stretching each of my joints. I was so afraid of what I was about to do. My heart beat faster and harder as I slowly turned to Edward. A small crease formed between his eyebrows.

"Bella?"

I scooted over so I was sitting cross-legged, facing him on the bed and took his hand in mine. "I love you, Edward. I love you with all my heart, and I love you so much that it actually hurts me." I pressed a finger to his lips when I saw he was about to speak. "And I know that you left to protect me. I can see your goodness behind that act, and I understand why you did it. It must have been so difficult for you, and it shows me what a truly beautiful heart you have. But Edward, when you left, I – I sort of broke. I fell to pieces and it took a long time to put myself back together again. I never thought I would be ok again. You were my world and I trusted you beyond belief. But, Edward, you left me. And I had to cope. I had to make some sort of life for myself without you. And I've found that I actually quite like the life that I've made. I'm happy with this person I've become, and I feel like I'm finally whole. I'm finally a full person.

"When I was with you, well, I felt like the best part of me was you. I felt like the most I had going for me was the fact that I was with you." I shook my head again as he tried to speak. "And now I can see that isn't true, and I've discovered that for myself. I love you Edward, but I had to make a life for myself when you left and I can't give that life up. I can't give up Charlie or Jacob or any of my other friends. They were there for me when you weren't. They put back together what you broke."

I paused to brush away the tears now streaming down my face.

"Bella," he whispered, cupping my face with his hand. "All I want for you is to be happy. If you are happy then that will make _me_ happy. And if you can have a normal, human life, then that is all I want for you. I will never forgive myself for putting you through so much pain."

I shook my head. "Edward, I never would have reached this point in my life if I had never known you. And I want to keep knowing you and your family for the rest of my life. But I can't be with you again, as much as I love you. I'm ready to look after myself now."

He smiled at me, and his smile was genuine. "You are the most incredible person, Isabella Swan. You have grown into a beautiful woman, and I will always be content to see you living a long happy life. My family will always be your family, and I'll be here whenever you need me."

The tears flowed harder as I realised this was our goodbye. That I was saying goodbye to Edward Cullen, _my_ Edward, forever. Panic washed over me, but I pushed it down. I wasn't losing him again, not in the same way. "I am so sorry I can't be your Bella. You will always have a piece of my heart."

"As you will always have a part of mine." He smiled. "I'm just sorry it's not beating."

"Will I see you again?"

"Definitely," he nodded, tilting my chin up with his finger. He pressed his cool lips to mine, and I kissed him fervently, then threw myself into his arms and clung to him desperately. He held me until I finally loosened my grasp. I kissed him again, and then he was gone.

ooo

I spent the rest of that day and night crying, feeling so alone, wanting to right the wrong decision I'd made. Occasionally I'd drift in and out of sleep, but as the sun rose the following morning a sense of calm washed over me. I felt a sense of security in knowing that Edward wasn't too far away, and that he'd be by my side if I needed him. And then I smiled as I thought of Charlie and Renee and Jacob.

And Jacob.

I hadn't let myself think of Jacob until now but I had to see him.

Slowly I got out of bed, the calm still hadn't left me. I padded down the hallway to the bathroom and took a hot shower, then brushed my teeth and dried my hair thoroughly. I dressed in a comfortable pair of jeans, a tank top and an old flannel shirt and proceeded downstairs, unsure of what to say to Charlie.

I found him sitting at the breakfast table, eating a bowl of cereal and reading the newspaper. He looked up when I walked in and I had to speak quickly so as to get in first.

"Dad, before you say anything, I just wanted to apologise for everything I've put you through these past few days. I can't imagine how worried you were about me and I hate that I put you through that." I moved forwards and sat down at the table across from him. "Also, I want you to know," my voice faltered. "I want you to know that Edward and I aren't back together. He may be sticking around and I may see him occasionally, but we won't be a couple again." I felt a tear trickle from my eye. "I know we don't usually share emotions and stuff, but I'm kinda taking your advice here: learning to love what's good for me."

I swallowed. I don't think I'd said so much to Charlie in all my life.

He grunted and cleared his throat. "Well, Bella, I know this must be hard for you to make a choice like that. And I'm – uh – well, happy that you're – er – lookin' after yourself and all. I know if your Mom had ever come back into my life…" he trailed off. "But Bella, don't you ever do that to me again. You took off, for three days, and I didn't know where in the hell you were. Then you come back, with _him_. You could have been dead for all I knew."

"I know, Dad, and I am sorry. But Edward needed me and I had to help him. I will always help him if he needs it, and I should have been more honest with you."

Charlie grumbled. "Well you should really be grounded." He folded his newspaper and took another mouthful of cereal. "But, uh, Jake's been calling a lot. You better go down and see him. You've got a lot of explaining to do, and trying to tell _him_ where you went for three days might be punishment enough."

I got up and gave Charlie a hug. "Thanks, Dad," I whispered. "I love you."

He coughed and mumbled, "Yeah, love you too Bells," followed by something that sounded like "too soft on you." As I left the room and grabbed my jacket, his voice called after me, "You know, honey, you're happy when you're with Jacob. Happier than I've ever seen you. Just consider him ok?"

I rolled my eyes. I was not about to go starting a relationship with _anyone_. I wanted longer to discover this new me. I needed longer to mourn the end of my relationship with Edward. I grabbed my keys and left the house, the door slamming shut behind me. The sun shone through the clouds and I let it warm my face as I started the truck. I was ok. It was all going to be ok.

ooo

I wound the window down as I drove into La Push, letting the cool air wash over my face. As I indicated to turn into the Black's driveway, my tummy squirmed anxiously. Charlie was right, Jacob was not going to be happy with me. I pushed the stick into park and turned the keys, cutting the noise of my rumbling truck. I looked up at the tiny house and saw Jacob standing on the front porch, his hands buried deep in the pockets of his sweatpants. He was wearing an old grey t-shirt but his feet were bare.

Opening the door, I climbed out of truck and wrapped my arms around me against the cool breeze. Jacob met me halfway towards the house and indicated with his head that we should walk. In stony silence we made our way down to the beach where he strode off ahead of me and sat on the old piece of driftwood, half buried in sand and pebbles. I followed him slowly, unsure of what I was going to say.

"What happened?" he asked me gruffly as I sat down.

Slowly, I began to recount the story, how I'd flown to Italy, found Edward in the nick of time, the Volturi. As I told him of Alice's promise that I would be changed, Jacob leapt to his feet, his entire body trembling, and a low growl ripping from his throat.

"Jacob, calm down," I ordered. "I'm not…No one's going to be changing me. I'm going to stay human."

Confusion filled his dark eyes as his trembling slowed and stopped. "But then, what about these – these _Volturi_. What's going to happen?"

I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair. "Jacob, I love Edward. I really do. He will always be a part of me, and so will the rest of the Cullens. They're like my family."

In defeat he fell to his knees. "But Bella, I saw what he did to you. What _they_ did to you when they left."

"But they didn't mean to," I explained, kneeling on the ground in front of him. "They were trying to protect me. But I guess danger will find me, no matter what." I smiled sadly at him and tried to get him to look at me.

"So that's it then?" he snarled the words, throwing them at me like daggers. "So you're going to run back to them, let them back into your life? After _everything_?"

"Yes, Jacob, I am," I tried to explain. I wasn't doing very well here. "They will always be a part of my life, but listen to what I'm saying, Jacob! I'm not going to become one of them."

The heartache in his eyes was killing me.

"Victoria is going to come for me. One day the Volturi are going to come for me. Vampires will always be in my life, but I have no intention of joining that life. Not any more. I just want to be me, I just want to be Bella. Edward and I will never be what we were. Never again."

He looked up then, his face confused. "But…"

"I had a lot of time to think, and as much as I can't let go of _him_, and I don't know if I will ever be able to let go, I can't let go of you either. Or Charlie, or Renee, or my humanity for that matter. The life I thought I wanted…" I remembered the receptionist for the Volturi, back in Italy and shuddered. "I'm sorry I left you like that, after everything, but I had to. I had to do that one thing. And if Edward ever needs me again I will be there. But I'm back now."

"So," he hesitated. "Let me get this all straight. The Cullens are back, and you will still be spending time with them."

"Yes."

"You love Edward."

I nodded slowly. "Yes."

"But you don't want to be with him."

I hesitated. Of course I wanted to be with him. But I couldn't. I didn't want that life. "No, Jacob, I don't want to be with him anymore. I don't want the life he's offering."

"But you're going to have a whole bunch of vampires coming after you at some point in the future."

I nodded again.

His face broke into a smile. "Awesome."

"No, Jake," I snapped, losing the calm in my voice. "It's not _awesome_. They are dangerous, and very old, and they will kill you." Guilt ate away at me. There was no way I could protect my families – vampire, werewolf and human. The Volturi would come, whether it was next year or in ten. At some point they would come.

"You don't have to worry, Bells. We'll be ready for them. When they come we'll be ready. Even if we have to fight alongside those bloodsucker Cullens, we will. No one'll let anything happen to you." He grinned and ruffled my hair then pulled me into a bone-crushing hug. "Stop worrying Bella, we can take down a couple of old leeches."

"Can't. Breathe."

He got to his feet and pulled me up with him. Slowly we began the walk back to his house. "Y'know, Bella, it took a lot of courage for you to make that decision."

I shoved him in the ribs, but I doubt if he even felt it. "Yeah, well I think I'm starting to see the bigger picture here. Just because you're in love with someone doesn't mean that you should be with them."

He stopped me then. "Where does this leave me, Bella?" he asked, his eyes boring into mine.

I tried to shrug him off. "You're my best friend, Jake. Nothing's changed."

He opened his mouth but the howling of a wolf in the distance caused him to look around distractedly. "I'll meet you back at the house, ok?" I watched as he ran off into the trees and disappeared.

ooo

_His beautiful face swam in front of me, his eyes a liquid gold. "Why are you doing this to me, Bella? Why are you hurting me like this?" I tried to reach out to him, but my arms were trapped at my sides. A tear fell from his eye, but then it turned red, and a trickle of blood ran down his face from his now crimson irises. I tired to scream, to run away, but I couldn't move. He was getting closer, his eyes hungry._

"Bella, honey, wake up." A warm hand was shaking me, and my eyes flew open. Jacob's concerned face swam into vision. "Bella? You're crying. What's wrong?"

"Bad dream," I mumbled, wiping my face and looking around. I was in Jacob's living room, having fallen asleep in front of the TV. The light had changed, and it must have been late afternoon.

"You're ok now," he said, flopping down on the sofa next to me and wrapping a large arm around my shoulders, pulling me against his warm body. "Sorry I left you for so long. It was crazy today though, what with the Cullens being back and all." He gave me a small squeeze as he said their name. "And Victoria's gone, but we're all patrolling now. We had to renegotiate the terms of the agreement to move boundaries and stuff. We'll have someone patrolling your place at all times, and I think some of the bloodsuckers are heading up North, trying to track her. Bells? You're still crying."

I wiped my eyes with the sleeve of my shirt. "Sorry, it was just a really bad dream. I'm just tired I guess." I laughed humourlessly. "Crap, I'm such a mess."

"Nah," he shook his head and hugged me closer. "You're actually doing pretty well. I've seen you as a mess, and well…" he hesitated. "Let's just say that you're a little ray of sunshine in comparison."

"Thanks, Jake," I mumbled. "I should be heading home, it's getting late."

"Nah, Charlie's coming down for dinner. We're getting pizza. He and Billy are going fishing tomorrow, and I'm not patrolling. Sam's given me a couple days off, so I'm all yours."

"Ok, cool. Well I've got some homework to catch up on before school starts on Monday. Maybe we can just chill?"

"Sounds good. I need to do some work on the Rabbit anyway. Day in the garage ok with you? We could take the bikes out later?"

I nodded as I heard Charlie's cruiser pull up outside. "Hey Billy, hey kids," he called, carrying three big pizza boxes. As he walked through the door, he spotted us sitting on the couch, Jacob's arm still slung around my shoulder and raised his eyebrow. I cleared my throat and got up to help him with the pizza. Billy wheeled in to the room then and dinner passed cheerfully. After Jacob had eaten an entire pizza by himself and I had managed to get down a slice despite my still squirming stomach, Charlie and Billy put the game on and Jacob took my hand, leading me to his small bedroom at the back of the house.

I hadn't been in his room many times before. It was small, with a large dresser against the wall and his bed and desk crammed into the remaining space. I edged around his desk chair and sat on his unmade bed, pushing a pile of laundry to the side. Two posters were stuck, peeling, to the wall, one of some band I'd never heard of and the other of a motorbike. His quilt cover had a teddy bear pattern, and this made me smile.

"I've missed that smile," he murmured, and I looked up surprised to see him sitting so close on his desk chair. Tentatively he reached out and brushed a lock of hair from my face.

"Jake," I began, not wanting to hurt his feelings.

"Right," he leaned back, a scowl on his face. It was Sam's scowl, and I didn't like it.

"Come on, Jake," I said, feeling a little hurt and annoyed. "All of this isn't exactly easy for me. Just…just be patient, ok?"

He watched me, a crinkle between his eyebrows, then took a deep breath. "I'm in love with you, Bella." He waited for my response and when I didn't give one, he continued. "And I know you love me."

"Yes. I _do_ love you Jake. You're my best friend. I don't know what I'd do without you. I don't know how I'd survive without you." Ashamedly I felt tears trickle from my eyes again. What was with these waterworks today? "Please, just be my friend. Stop putting all this pressure on me, I can't handle it right now."

He looked slightly taken aback and then his face fell. Moving to sit next to me on the bed, he pulled me into his arms. "Crap, I'm sorry, honey. No more talk about love, ok?"

I nodded tearfully into his chest, enjoying the warmth. At some point I must have drifted off, because next thing I knew Jacob was carrying me to Charlie's cruiser, and then Dad was carrying me upstairs to my room.

"Dad," I mumbled as he placed me in bed and pulled the blankets up to my chin. "Thank you."

"What for?" he asked patting my hair.

"Just for everything since I've moved here. I know I haven't exactly been easy to live with."

He just chuckled. "Bella, you moving back here is the best thing that ever happened to me. I just want you to be happy."

"I will be," I muttered, feeling my eyelids droop. I would be. I felt a sense of warmth and security as I fell asleep, and for the first time in a long time, I knew that everything would be ok.

* * *

Thanks! Please leave a review and let me know what you think and your suggestions!


	2. Chapter 2

**Hi everyone, thanks for sticking with me. I promise you this story is going somewhere exciting, but I do get a little distracted by BellaJacob fluff. Hope you enjoy!**

* * *

Sunlight filtered through my windows but I refused to open my eyes. My dreams had faded into consciousness and I woke up thinking. I was a pretty sensible little kid. My mom always told me that I was like a middle-aged ten year old, and in many ways I was. Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, the Easter Bunny…I caught on pretty quick. But the one thing that I did believe in was fairy tales. The fantasy of what my life was going to be. I always pictured prince charming with his white horse, who would just take me away from everything and we'd live happily every after. At night time, I'd lie in bed and I had total faith that I would meet my Prince Charming, that he truly did exist. And then I guess you grow up, and that fairy tale starts to disappear. But I think everyone, no matter how old, or where they are in life, still holds on to a tiny little bit of hope that one day they will open their eyes and it will all come true.

I thought Edward was my fairy tale, my happily ever after. I really, truly did. He was Prince Charming and I was the poor peasant girl. So why did I turn it away? Why did I give up my fairy tale? Is real life really that important?

I think your dreams turn up where you don't expect them to half the time. It's like one day you wake up and realize that the fairy tale is different than you dreamed. The castle isn't a castle, and happy every after doesn't matter – it's happy right now which is important. People surprise you, people take your breath away, and fairy tales come in unexpected packages.

I think moving to Forks, living with Charlie, meeting my friends, the vampires, the werewolves – in some strange way _this_ is my fairy tale. And I don't know who Prince Charming is. I don't even know if there is one. I mean, I thought it was Edward, but no matter how much I love him, I just can't give up the fairy tale that is my life.

I sighed. This was just too much to figure out so early on a Sunday morning, and it was making me depressed. I didn't want to keep going over whether I'd made the right choice or not.

My door creaked open and I cracked open an eyelid. Charlie was peering in.

"Bella?" he whispered.

"Yea, I'm awake, Dad."

"I'm off to Billy's. You want a ride?" he was still whispering.

I hesitated. I felt pretty flat and wanted a day in bed, to be honest. I wanted a day to mope. "I don't feel so great actually," I said, coughing a little. "I might be coming down with something. I think I'll just stay home and get some homework done. Can you tell Jake I said sorry?"

"No worries, honey, feel better, ok? There's some Panadol in the medicine cupboard if you need it." He closed the door and I nestled back into my pillows. I wanted to see Alice and Esme and Carlisle. I just wanted everything to go back to the way it had been.

Angry with myself at doubting my choice again, I wiped a stubborn tear from my face and threw the blankets over my head. I must have dozed back off, because I awoke suddenly to the doorbell. Stupidly hopeful, I flew out of bed and ran down the stairs. I so desperately wanted to see pale skin and amber eyes.

Jake stood outside, his large frame filling the doorway. In one hand, he had a selection of DVDs and in the other a slightly battered can of Campbell's chicken soup. I smiled at his unexpected appearance, truly glad that he was here.

"Hey, Sicky," he grinned, holding out his goodies. "Thought you might want a bit of company."

He didn't wait for my reply but walked inside, through to the kitchen. "Come on in, Jake," I mumbled, closing the door, and brushing a hand self consciously over my grubby plaid PJs.

"So how sick are you, exactly?" he asked after dumping his goodies on to the kitchen table and facing me. "Like, too sick to move or well enough to go bike riding?" He was grinning at me ear to ear.

"I dunno," I mumbled, pushing through the stack of movies now scattered across the table. All action movies, I noted. He knew me well. "I'm okay I guess. What did you have in mind?"

"It's a surprise," he said, almost bouncing with excitement. "Get dressed, I've got somewhere I want to show you."

I sighed but his enthusiasm was contagious and I found myself smiling as I hurried back up the stairs to my room. Choosing a dull ensemble of faded blue jeans and grey tshirt, topped off by my ratty brown jacket, I was ready to go, not even bothering to do anything with the tangle of curls framing my face. If we were riding bikes, my hair would be a mess again in seconds, so I merely secured it in a knot at the back of my head and hoped it would stay out of my face.

"You don't look _too_ awful for someone's who's supposed to be really sick," he told me, leading the way out of the house and chuckling to himself. I muttered incoherently under my breath about bratty teenage werewolves.

"You're like the Energizer bunny on Prozac," I told him once we were in the Rabbit, rattling along the highway to La Push. "What's got in to you?"

He shrugged, throwing his arm over the back of my seat. "I found this really neat place last night when we were patrolling. Almost dragged you out of bed at 3 am to show you, but thought I'd wait til you came down to La Push this morning."

I felt guilty then. "Sorry, Jake," I said, meaning it. "I just felt a bit flat this morning."

He took his eyes off the road and glanced at me. "Everything ok?" Only two words, yet I could hear the concern behind them.

"Yea, yea," I muttered. "Just have a lot of stuff to think about at the moment."

"You can always think out loud to me," he said earnestly. "I mean it Bells, my ears are yours."

We rode the rest of the way in a comfortable silence, and I was grateful for the added warmth when his arm slipped to rest around my shoulders. It was shaping up to be a chilly day, and the wind coming through the open windows was cold. When we reached the turn off to Jacob's house, I expected us to leave the main street, but instead Jacob continued on the small winding road through La Push.

"It's a bit of a drive, then we have a small walk," he told me, still not revealing much of our final destination. "That ok, or are you too sick?" He grinned wickedly at me.

"That's fine," I muttered, not wanting to admit that I'd been faking earlier.

He was right though, it was a long drive. Half an hour later, Jake turned the car down a small dirt track, and the forest thickened dramatically. The road soon ended and Jake parked the car and looked over at me.

"It's about a half hour hike. You up for it?"

In response, I opened the car door and stretched my legs. As I breathed out, mist circled out from my mouth. Hopefully a long walk would warm me up. The car door slammed shut and Jacob walked around to me, looking at me with an unusual expression.

"What?" I asked him, wondering if I had something on my face.

"Do you want to try something?"

I hesitated, suspicious. "What do you mean?"

"Well, it's a half hour walk to the top, or…" he shrugged, "I could change and carry you up."

Images of Edward running with me clinging onto his back flashed into my head but I pushed them aside. "You want me to _ride_ you?" I blushed as I realised how that sounded, but Jacob just laughed.

"Yea, wait here while I change." He ran off into the forest, and I hugged my jacket tighter to myself. I suddenly felt very alone, and wasn't too sure how I felt about this plan. What if I fell off? But then again, it couldn't be much more dangerous than riding a motorbike. I tried not to think about how many times I'd ended up in the ER after _that_ reckless behaviour though. Within seconds the large russet wolf was back, and I shivered as I looked at his huge form. He bent his head down and nudged my face with his wet nose.

"Gross, Jake," I complained, wiping the cold moisture from my face. "So what should I do? Climb on your back?"

The large wolf nodded its head and crouched down to make it easier for me. I took a deep breath, and took hold of a clump of fur on his neck, swinging my right leg over. This was very strange. When I'd finally wiggled into position, careful about hurting him, he stood, and I grabbed on to his fur tighter. This was almost like riding a horse, but an extremely hairy, large horse. I was glad I'd worn my loosest pair of jeans, as my legs were stretched out across his broad back.

"Alright," I said, trying to sound confident. "Here goes."

With a wolf's laugh he trotted into the forest, picking up speed as we went. I found myself bending low into the warm fur of his neck, holding on for dear life. After the trees began to whip past me, I closed my eyes, hoping that I wasn't going to be sick – Jacob would not appreciate that.

As Jacob ran, I could feel the power in his body, the muscles of the wolf undulating beneath me. Realising that my grip didn't hurt him, I'd tangled my fingers deeper into his fur, and occasionally opened my eyes to peer over his head at the forest speeding towards us. It was frightening yet at the same time, exhilarating. I noticed that not once did the voice of Edward Cullen sound in my head, and although my behaviour was nothing if not reckless, I felt safe on Jacob's back.

Finally the wolf's running slowed to a walk and I opened my eyes, surprised that I could see sunlight coming in through the thinning trees ahead. We must be nearly there. Seconds later, we broke through the trees and were standing in a clearing on a cliff edge, overlooking the vast, grey ocean. A sheer wall of rock stood to our left, with a large dark cave set in it. Small white flowers were growing out of the cracks and I was amazed at how beautiful this place was.

The wolf knelt and I climbed off of him, my legs stiff and sore. He disappeared back into the woods, and I walked across the rocky floor, careful not to trip on the uneven surface. The last thing we needed was for me to trip over my own feet and fly head first off of the cliff. I'd done enough cliff-diving lately. Within seconds Jacob was behind me, his large hand on my waist.

"Careful, Bella," he said, and I could hear the laughter in his voice. "Promise me you're not going to jump off of this one." I shoved him hard in the ribs, but I doubt he even felt it. I realised that I would never live that one down. I wandered over back towards the cliff face behind us, curious about the large dark cave.

I took a few hesitant steps inside and when I could feel Jacob's warmth close behind me I followed the narrow passage until it opened into a reasonable sized cavern. I could still see quite clearly, and looking up, I saw dim light from the sun shining through a crack in the ceiling.

"This place is amazing," I whispered, following the walls around in a full circle. Out of the chilly wind, it was almost warm inside and a soft layer of moss blanketed the floor under my feet.

Suddenly I remembered the clearing of wildflowers that Edward and I had shared so long ago and compared it to this cold dark cave. In many ways, this place suited me better, and I turned to face Jacob who was beaming at me again.

"You like it?" he asked and before I could answer he continued, "How incredible is it! We could totally come camping here or something during the summer vacation, build a fire outside at night, and it's just a short run down to this little beach at the bottom of the cliff."

I laughed at his excitement, slightly taken aback that he'd already planned a camping trip here with me. "It might be a short run for you, but it takes a little longer for us humans, especially the clumsy ones."

"I _am_ human," he responded and took my hand, leading me back outside. I was worried I'd offended him, but when he sat down, he pulled me down beside him, and wrapped one of his large arms around my shoulders. It was nice sitting there, gazing out over the ocean with our legs dangling off the cliff edge. We sat in silence for a long while, and then Jacob began talking about his pack, and about becoming a werewolf. The fear, the confusion, the anger. The humiliation he felt at having his every thought known by the rest of the pack. The overwhelming amount of information he was forced to endure as the pack's thoughts intruded on his own.

"And then there's Sam and Leah," he told me sombrely.

"What do you mean?" I asked, confused. I'd only met Leah the once, and simply knew her as Harry and Sue Clearwater's daughter.

As if trying to find the words, Jacob told me about the imprinting, and what this meant for each werewolf. The concept that love at first sight really did exist baffled me. I had always loved Shakespeare's _Romeo and Juliet_ but the one part of that love story I never liked or accepted was that the two main characters fell so deeply in love before they even knew each other. It just didn't seem possible.

"It's like gravity isn't the thing keeping you on earth anymore, it's her. She just becomes the most important thing, the sole reason for your existence."

Solemnly, Jacob told me about Sam, leaving Leah after he imprinted on Emily, and I felt chills run through my body. Imprinting sounded incredible, yet horrifying at the same time. To have all choices and free-will taken away from you like that was incomprehensible. We sat in silence for awhile, thinking about Sam and Leah, her pain, and his guilt. Finally Jacob gave my shoulders a soft squeeze, and I turned to look up into his face.

"Just another one of those wolf things, I guess," he said, trying to shrug it off, but the pain clearly visible on his face.

"Can I ask you something?"

He nodded.

"Why do you hate being a werewolf so much?"

He looked out to the ocean and scratched his chin with his free hand. "I don't really know why," he replied honestly. "Most of the other guys love it. Quil thinks it's so cool. But having no choice in the matter. Having no privacy. Some parts of it are great, the speed, the strength -."

"The warmth," I interjected, scooting a little closer.

He laughed. "But like you said before, am I still human? I mean, I feel human. But it's like I can't make my any choices any more. I miss that. I miss that independence – the freedom of choices."

"Choices aren't so great. You have to then live with the consequences."

Jacob then pulled me onto his lap and held me in his arms. It felt strange, but comforting, my back pressed into his warm chest, and his arms wrapped around me. My tummy squirmed slightly and I tried to ignore it, resting my head back gratefully into his shoulder.

"Why didn't you choose him?" he asked me quietly.

I started in surprise. "What, you're not happy with my choice?"

He laughed humourlessly. "I'm not saying that. All I want is for _you_ to be happy Bella."

"I am," I said truthfully. "I really am. I'm happy with my life. And I'm happy with who I am." I slid off his lap and looked at him. "Honestly, I know I made the right decision. It was the hardest choice I ever had to make, but It's like these past few months I've discovered this new me and I actually kinda like her, and I don't want to give all that up."

"Well, I'm glad you didn't take him back," Jacob muttered, giving my shoulders a squeeze. "Sam still thinks about that night he found you in the forest. It's like your face was burned into his head that night. No one should be allowed to do that to you ever again." He turned his head to me, his face earnest now. "Bella, I would never hurt you like that. I would never leave you, I promise."

I laughed humourlessly. "Until you imprint, Jake. Until you find your Emily. I'm sick of people making promises they can't keep." I got to my feet and brushed the dirt off of my jeans. I'd promised that I'd stop feeling sorry for myself, and yet here I was, tearing up yet again. I swiped angrily at my eyes then felt Jacob's behind me. That boy sure could move quietly.

"Never, Bella," he whispered. "There'll never be anyone but you."

I spun around on my heels and prodded him hard in the chest. "How dare you make that promise, Jacob Black? You _will_ imprint on someone, the whole pack is imprinting. And then what, huh? Then I will be alone. _Again_."

"I _love_ you Bella!" He practically shouted to be heard over my raised voice. Then his skin darkened and he lowered his gaze. More quietly, he said, "I love you. I don't see _anybody_ but you."

"Don't," I said, my voice pleading now. "Please, Jake, you're my friend. Please, you promised, remember? You promised you wouldn't hurt me." And then I was sobbing uncontrollably. All barriers had broken and the tears flooded out, rolling down my cheeks and dripping from my chin. Before I knew it, Jacob's warm arms were around me and he'd pulled me into his chest. One large hand smoothed my hair and I could hear him making soothing noises.

"Listen to me, Bella," he almost whispered. "I won't bring this up again, if you don't want me to: I don't want to hurt you. But I _do_ love you. And I would never leave your side. You wouldn't have to change a thing to be with me, it would be as easy as breathing. We're made for each other Bella, I don't see anyone else but you. And I can see it in your eyes too, I know that you love me." He tilted my chin up to look at him. "I know that you love me, and I'll give you all the time that you need, but I am going to fight for this," he placed his hand on my heart as he spoke. "I'm going to fight for you, for _us_, because I know that you love me too." And with that he cupped my face in his hands and crushed his lips against mine.

Shocked, it took me a few seconds to react, and then I shoved him away with all my strength, while wrenching my face from his grasp. He took a step backwards, and I could just register a puzzled look on his face, before I drew my fist back and punched him as hard as I could.

There was a crunching of broken bones and I shrieked.

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	3. Chapter 3

**Hi everyone, thank you for all my lovely reviews. This chapter is a little shorter, but the next one should be up soon! **

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Once again I was sitting in Forks Hospital Emergency room, nursing an injury, and fuming. Why. Why did a moronic, stubborn, bratty teenage werewolf decide that the best time to kiss me was two days after my whole world had turned upside down. Especially after I had started crying, telling him all I wanted was for him to be my best friend, to _act_ like my best friend. Not some hormonal male who couldn't control himself.

After hopping around and yelling a bit more, I'd stalked off into the forest, determined to find my own way back to the Rabbit. Jacob caught up to me within seconds though, scooped me up from behind and began to jog through the trees, back down to the car. We were at the hospital within half an hour, by which time my thumb had swollen to twice its normal size and was throbbing painfully.

"I'm not sure you're punching right," Jacob said, sprawled out on the chair next to me in the waiting room. He had formed a fist and was studying it intently. "Your thumb shouldn't have hit my face."

I turned to glare at him, and he at least had the decency to look sheepish when he caught my eye.

"Right. Sorry. But you know, punching me was a little extreme, Bells, I was just trying something."

"Well don't," I growled, uncrossing and recrossing my legs. "_Don't_ try anything, Jacob Black. Especially when I tell you that _I'm not interested_."

He sighed. "Yeah, yeah, ok."

Just then the Emergency Room doors burst open and Edward stormed in, followed closely by Alice.

"Bella, what happened?" he was by my side within seconds, his cool fingers soothing my aching hand. "Have you seen anyone yet?"

"We've only been here a few minutes," I choked out, trying to compose myself. The breath had been knocked out of me at his unexpected appearance. "How did you know I was here?"

"I saw myself driving you home from the hospital, but I couldn't see anything else," Alice piped up. She glared at Jacob, "and now I know why."

"Why did she punch you?" Edward shot at Jacob, his voice venomous.

Jacob stood, drawing himself up to his full height. "I don't have to tell you anything, bloodsucker. You shouldn't be here."

Edward snarled, and I stood as well, trying to put myself between the two boys when Carlisle stepped into the waiting room and cleared his throat.

"Bella," he said softly. "Come on through. Edward, Jacob, I suggest you two join us." He looked pointedly at them, then smiled warmly at me. I followed Carlisle through another set of swinging doors, down an empty, white hallway and into a smaller room. Used to this process, I climbed clumsily onto the bed and allowed Carlisle to gently take my hand and examine the thumb.

We were both ignoring the other two. Jacob had crossed the room to stand protectively by my side, which I thought was a little much, as _he_ was the reason that I was in the ER in the first place. Edward on the other hand was pressed up against the wall, as far from Jacob as he could manage. He had a pained expression on his face, and I was wondering what Jacob was thinking to torture him so much.

I winced as Carlisle pressed a little harder, and he smiled apologetically at me. "Well, I think it's fractured. We can go and take an x-ray if you'd like, but honestly there isn't much else we can do but strap it up.

"Great," I muttered. This would make taking notes in class much more fun.

"How's Charlie?" Carlisle asked, as he set about splinting and bandaging my hand.

"He's okay," I replied with a shrug. "I think he's taking Harry Clearwater's death pretty hard. "

"Yes, I was so sorry to hear he'd lost one of his friends. Please, give him our best."

"How's Esme?" I asked eagerly. "And Emmett?"

Carlisle chuckled. "All very well, and enjoying being back in Forks. Rosalie misses travelling but she and Emmett are planning another trip soon." He finished off the bandaging with a few small metal clips. "There you are. Try and keep from moving it for a few days. I can give you a sling if you'd like."

"No," I said emphatically. "Thank you, but the least attention _this_," I indicated the thumb, "gets, the better."

"Fair enough, I believe Alice is in the waiting room. She would quite like to drive you home, if that's all right with you?"

"Definitely," I said hopping off of the bed, and refusing to look at Jacob. I was sure his face was thunderous. As I walked towards the door, I caught Edward's eyes and quickly made myself look away. I could still see the infinite love he had behind them, and I didn't want to put myself through that yet again. I knew that if I asked him, he would take me back. No hesitation. But I'd made up my mind. I was no longer going to settle to be half of Edward and Bella. Half a person. I wanted to be whole and complete by being just me.

"If she ever hurts herself again in your presence, Jacob Black, I will hold you personally responsible, and you _will_ pay," I heard Edward hiss behind me as I left the room.

"She doesn't want you, bloodsucker. She's made her choice, and she doesn't need _you_ looking after her anymore. She doesn't need _anyone_ looking after – Bella's not some poor fragile doll who can't take care of herself."

I spun around. "Can you two please stop talking about me as though I'm not here? I may not have super senses, but I _can_ hear you." I glared at both of them and they looked apologetic. "And both of you are wrong. Edward, I hurt myself, all the time. One of the hazards of being a clumsy human, and it's sweet but you really don't need to rush down to the ER every time I scrape my knee. And Jacob, I _do_ need to be protected. I'm only human and there is currently a crazed vampire trying to torture and kill me." I felt bad chiding him, as I'd actually been really touched by what he said. "Stop fighting with each other. You are both important to me, and I want you to get along. Please."

The matching ashamed expressions on their faces was almost humorous, yet I wasn't in the mood for comedy at that moment. I turned around and stalked into the waiting room, where Alice was waiting for me, flipping through a trashy women's magazine.

"Ready to go, Bella?" she asked, nimbly springing to her feet.

"Thank you, Alice," Carlisle said. "Hopefully I won't see you back here too soon, Bella. But any time you'd like to come over, you're more than welcome. I know Esme has been dying to see you."

"Thank you," I replied, grateful. "I'd really like that." I turned to leave with Alice, but not before I'd been swept up in a bear hug by Jacob.

"See you soon, Bells," he said, crushing me into his overheated body then planting me back on my feet. "Did you at least like the place I took you today?"

"Would have been better without the bratty werewolf," I muttered still irritated.

"Bye, Bella," Edward said, keeping his distance, but smiling all the same. I stepped forward and kissed his cold marble cheek, then turned and left the hospital, Alice walking beside me.

After we had left the hospital and were speeding down the narrow lanes heading back to Charlie's house, Alice chatted away happily. I tried to listen and take in everything she was saying, but I knew that she had noticed my near silence.

"You made the right choice, Bella," Alice spoke after a moment's hesitation. I looked around at her in surprise. I didn't expect this from her.

"What do you mean?"

"No one should have to give up their humanity. I don't remember ever being human, and I wish that I could. If anything, Bella, choosing to be human has made Edward happier than ever. All he's ever wanted is for you to be happy and human. When he left, it was his attempt to ensure that fate for you. But of course you weren't happy. So he decided to compromise your humanity for your happiness, and change you into one of us. But don't you see? Now you can have both, and that's something he never could have given you."

"But Alice, I don't get to be with him. How can _he_ be happy watching me lead a life without him in it?" I hesitated, feeling my throat burn with unshed tears. "How am I supposed to be happy without him in my life?"

"You don't _have_ to live without each other. There is no reason why you can't still exist in each other's lives. And I've seen happiness in his future, Bella. Edward will always love you, and he does miss you, but he will be _so_ happy."

"What happens?" I asked, wondering what could possibly be in store for us both.

Alice just smiled. "Oh, it's a surprise. I'm keeping this one a secret. It's all inevitable, so there's no point me ruining it all by telling him too soon. And besides we really don't want a visit from the Volturi." Alice was being very cryptic, but at the mention of the Volturi I felt my blood run cold.

"You've seen the Volturi in our future?"

Alice laughed. "No, I haven't. But I'm having a lot of trouble seeing your future at all anymore, Bella." She smiled at me, glancing away from the road. "It seems you've made your choice, whether you realise it or not."

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	4. Chapter 4

**Thank you so much to all my lovely reviewers! You really made my day and I love getting feedback! Hope you enjoy!**

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I awoke early Monday morning to an anxious knot somewhere in the pit of my stomach. Break was over and school was starting again. Joy. It wasn't that I disliked school or learning so much, it was just the monotony of it that I hated. The same subjects every day, the same people. Bored, burnt out teachers who hated their students.

I stopped myself. No, that wasn't why I didn't want to go to school. I had to be honest with myself, I didn't want to go to school because the Cullens were back. Would Edward be back in class? Why hadn't I asked him yesterday?

There was no point putting off crawling out of my warm blankets. I think it was Benjamin Franklin who said never leave that till tomorrow which you can do today. I didn't want to get out of bed tomorrow either, but I suppose the concept still applies.

Why do people put things off? Fear I suppose. My fear of seeing Edward at school, fear of what everyone else would be saying, fear of having my nicely stitched-back-together heart ripped out of my chest cavity once again. There are so many things in life to fear: failure, rejection, making bad decisions. My thumb throbbed as I shuffled further under the quilt, and I remembered my latest bad decision. Jacob. What was I going to do about him? I was putting things off. Not dealing with the present because it was easier. But where did that leave Jacob?

I sighed. Why did my brain always insist on waking up in full gear? This was too heavy for seven in the morning. But just maybe I should stop putting things off: get out of bed, go to school, make a proper decision about Jacob. Is knowing better than wondering? Is losing someone better than never loving at all? No. The pain wasn't worth it.

But maybe failure beats never trying.

Enough.

I threw the covers off and climbed out of bed, yelping as I jarred my injured hand. There was no point in trying to make decisions about life right now. I tried to remember insignificant song lyrics as I brushed my teeth and drove to school, not wanting to go through everything yet again in my head. School. Edward. Jacob. Life. College. Shit, college.

So at some point in the recent past, all of my classmates had sent out their college applications and were eagerly awaiting their acceptance letters. Somehow I hadn't quite got around to applying. Some places did take late applications, but the problem was I just didn't know what I wanted to do with my life. Up until a week ago I wasn't even sure I wanted a future (as teenage angsty as that may sound). A year off would probably do me good. Time for me to find myself. I almost laughed at that, realising how much I sounded like Renee.

Pulling into the school parking lot, I shook my head at my own absurdity. I didn't even believe in finding yourself. People don't find themselves, they create themselves. I suppose that left the question, who do I want to be?

I climbed out of my truck, determined to focus on Shakespeare, Algebra and Biology, and knowing that would be futile. My head seemed lost in the clouds today. As I walked to my locker, I looked around for my friends and felt my stomach drop as I realised I didn't really have any. None that I spent any time with anyway. That's when I noticed all the faces looking at me. The whispers behind indiscreet hands and the murmur of a name: Cullen.

So it seemed that the entire town knew the Cullens were back. This was going to make my day so much more enjoyable. I hurried to class, not caring that I was still 15 minutes early and took a seat at the back of the room.

The morning passed excruciatingly slowly, yet I found myself dreading lunchtime. I hadn't seen Edward or Alice at school, but that didn't mean much as they could have been in different classes. Entering the cafeteria, I breathed a sigh of relief to see the large room absent of any vampires. I chuckled as I thought how ridiculous that sounded. I really wasn't afraid of the vampires for the right reason.

Sitting down with my sandwich and soda, I noticed the entire table fall silent.

"Hey everyone," I muttered, feeling the blush rise in my cheeks.

Conversation started pretty quickly though as Jessica couldn't go more than thirty seconds without talking about herself. God I was a bitch.

"Everything ok?" Angela asked me quietly, her brown eyes concerned.

"Not really," I replied truthfully. "Not so much fun having the entire school watching you, wondering if you're going to fall apart all over again."

Angela squeezed my arm. "Well I'm glad to see you're not. If you want to talk about it, I'm happy to listen." I smiled at that, knowing that she wasn't interested in the gossip, but genuinely caring and I found myself wanting to tell her everything.

"He wanted us to get back together," I replied, my voice a near whisper. "But I just couldn't. Not after everything, not after what he did."

She paused a moment then said, "Well, Bella, if it means anything, I think you made the right choice. It's like, after he left and you got a bit better, you started to become _you_ again. But in a different way. You held yourself differently. When you were with Edward, it almost looked as if you were leaning on him, always looking to him for answers. But recently you've become so much more independent, more of your own person. You've learned how to relax and have fun." She smiled shyly. "Edward is a great guy, don't get me wrong, but I think you need someone who's going to challenge you, someone who'll really get under your skin."

"Thanks, Ange," I said quietly. "It really means a lot, coming from you."

The rest of the day wasn't quite so bad after that. I stuck with Angela during classes, and I even asked her to come over and watch a movie Wednesday night as Charlie was working late. Jess overheard and demanded an invitation also, but I didn't mind. A girls' night was exactly what I needed. Maybe I could even talk about my Jacob problems. Maybe.

The day finally ended and I walked across the car park to my truck, trying to cram all of my books into my backpack as I went. Not until I was nearly halfway across the parking lot did I hear the loud revving of a motorcycle and look up.

Looking more mountainous than ever, Jacob sat astride his motorcycle, grinning and waving at me. I shook my head in disbelief, and made a beeline towards him before he could draw even more attention that he already had.

"How's your hand?" he asked as I got closer, a hint of humour in his dark eyes.

"Oh just great," I replied sarcastically. "Yeah, Angela Weber had to take notes for me all day and then as I couldn't play basketball in PE, I had to run laps instead."

He did look a little sheepish then. "Ok, Bells, I'm here to apologise. I really am so sorry about you thumb, and I promise that I won't bring up any of that love or kissing stuff again until you ask, ok?" Before I could interrupt indignantly, he pressed on. "I am here to be whatever you want me to be; you need a shoulder to cry on, make mine as wet as you'd like. Want to go cliff diving? I'm up for it. Seriously, Bella, I'm your best friend, and you should be able to rely on me. So, no more kissing or talking about love. Not until you want to, ok?"

I snorted. "You keep telling me you're not going to push and then you keep pushing."

"I know, sorry. But this time I'm serious. I just want you to be happy. I just want us to be _us_ again." He took my hand. "No labels or words. We'll just…be."

I grinned in spite of myself. "That actually sounds really good."

"Awesome," he said, holding his free hand out for a high five. I laughed and held up my broken thumb. He grinned, "Sorry. Follow me to La Push? We're having the Clearwaters over for dinner."

I agreed, hoping he would keep his promise and just be my Jacob for a while. My personal sun.

Unfortunately my truck wasn't fast enough to keep up with Jake's bike, so I arrived at the Black's house a good five minutes after him. We hung out in his garage all afternoon and it was just like old times, talk flowed easily and I found myself laughing at his stupid jokes. We drank warm soda and I made fun of him, and everything just clicked. He was right, it was as easy as breathing. I loved him, I really did. I wanted to spend all of my time with him.

But was I _in_ love with him? As he fiddled around with something under the hood of his Rabbit, I tried to imagine us both together, naked, holding each other. I blushed furiously and felt awkward. He _was_ beautiful, he really was. His russet skin rippled over his muscles as he used what I assumed was a spanner. His shiny black hair was growing out and fell into his eyes. Carelessly he flicked his head to the side, clearing his vision and looked over at me. I blushed harder, realising I had been ogling.

"What?" he asked, his lips curving in to a grin. "Amazed by my talent and skills?"

"Something like that," I mumbled, wishing I could come up with a better excuse.

As he went back to work I looked up at him through my lashes. He had a distinct square jaw line, and his lips were full and curved. They were smiling.

"Bella, why are you checking me out?"

"I'm not! I was just…you've changed so much in the past few months. I mean, you don't even look seventeen anymore."

He shrugged and took a swig from his soda. "Well technically I'm not."

"What?"

"Well, when I became a werewolf my body reached full maturity. I'm actually like 25 or something."

"You're _what_?" I demanded, feeling horror rising in me.

"Yeah, well our bodies reach full maturity and then we stop ageing. I mean, once we stop phasing for good then we start ageing again, but basically we can live…forev…Bella what's wrong?"

"You're not getting older?" I asked my voice deadly quiet.

"Well, no. Not at the moment. Why do you look so freaked out?" He was worried. "I've finally told you too much, haven't I? You don't want to be my friend anymore."

I ignored this. "So everyday I am getting older, and you're not ageing at all?"

He came over and sat down next to me, gripping my shoulders. "Bella, it doesn't matter. Biologically, you still have like 6 years 'til you catch up to me. Who knows what will be happening in 6 years? Hopefully I won't need to be a werewolf anymore, and we can grow old together." His skin darkened. "As friends. You know, grow old together as friends."

"You promise?" I demanded. "I won't get old and wrinkly while you stay…well, looking like _that_?"

"Promise," he laughed. "We will get old and wrinkly together, ok? Partners in crime at the nursing home."

I nodded and he wrapped me into a hug, pressing his lips to my forehead.

"Come on, I think I can hear Sue's car. Let's go get some dinner."

I followed him out of the garage, smiling. He'd always be my Jacob, my sunshine. We didn't need to label what we had because being with his was simple, natural. As easy as breathing.

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	5. Chapter 5

**Hello lovelies, hope you all enjoyed the last chapter, this one's fluffier I promise! And of course to all my reviewers: Yumes, Jacob Lupo, xdzumux, 2angelwings, and everybody else, i really appreciate your feedback and love reading reviews. Hope you all enjoy the chapter! **

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The next few weeks passed slowly and each day I resisted the overwhelming temptation to get in my truck, drive to the Cullens' house and beg for Edward to take me back. I saw Jacob, my friends from school and the Cullens often, and I felt as though my life had slipped into a happy routine. And although I did still want Edward, and my heart ached for him, I was beginning to realise now that the sadness I felt wasn't so much related to the loss of our relationship, but more at the trauma I went through after he'd left. I couldn't think of that night without my chest ripping open and having to physically hold myself together, and yet I could think about him and talk to him again. I was happy to picture his face in my mind and to look back at the happy times we'd spent together. I was happy to chat to him whenever I visited Alice or Esme. The memories no longer hurt. And although I missed him, he was still in my life, and I didn't need any more than that.

When we were together, how often had I felt special around him? Oh, he'd tried to make me feel special, for sure. He tried to make me feel like I was perfection, but more often than not I just felt inferior. And how often did he make me laugh? When had he ever been goofy? When had he teased me? I could not help but make the comparison in my head. Edward. Jacob. Edward. Jacob.

When I had been with Edward, it had been surreal. Like a dream. I never felt good enough and had always been totally aware of my actions, my appearance. But around Jacob, I felt warmth, happiness. We laughed and things were so easy. He was my best friend.

The weather began to get warmer as Spring arrived and I found myself soaking in the sun one balmy Friday at school. Angela lay on the grass to the right of me, and Emma, a quiet girl in our year who I'd only just started getting to know, lay on the left. It was too peaceful for chatter, and every so often one of us would sigh with pleasure at the mass amounts of vitamin D we were taking in.

"How's Jacob?" Angela asked me quietly, too relaxed to raise her voice and not bothering to open her eyes.

"Same as ever," I replied with a sigh. "Still my best friend. He hasn't tried anything in weeks which I guess I'm glad about."

"Well it's nice there's no pressure," Emma chipped in, shading her eyes as she looked at me.

"Yeah it really is. I mean, I'm not saying I never want anything to happen there, I just want to take things slowly, see what my feelings really are before I go jumping in. Our friendship means too much to jeopardise it." We fell into a comfortable silence again and I realised how easy it was to talk about myself. How selfish it was of me to hold everything back. Friendship, like everything else, was two way. Give and take. And I really did like sharing my thoughts with these girls. They actually cared enough to listen, and gave good advice when I needed it. I just wished that Alice could be a part of my new group too. I missed having her around me all the time, and the occasional visit wasn't good enough.

When the bell finally rang to signal the end of school, I drove straight over to the Black's house, my windows rolled down, enjoying the cool breeze on my face. Jacob came out to meet me as I pulled into his drive, a grin plastered to his face.

"Bella!" he called. "Billy is heading over to Sue's place tonight, and we are going to have ourselves a little party!"

"What?" I asked, laughing at his high spirits and slamming my truck door closed. The weather seemed to be affecting both of our moods and we were grinning goofily at each other.

"Werewolf party! We have some new and rather unusual members of the pack, so tonight's kind of like their initiation I guess. Basically involves a lot of food and inappropriate stories. Should be fun!"

For the next few hours I struggled through my algebra homework as Jacob whistled cheerfully, fixing up a car I didn't recognise. He'd been receiving a lot of mechanic work lately and I knew he was being paid well for it.

"Wooooooo, Jake!" someone called from outside. Jacob stood up quickly and banged his head on the hood of the car. He swore, and rubbed the back of his head while grabbing a rag to wipe his greasy hands.

"Sounds like they're here," he told me with a grin. I closed my Algebra book gratefully, and stood, stretching my arms up and cracking my back. I was a little nervous, not having spent much time with Jake's pack before.

The evening passed quickly. The pack were so friendly and outgoing, I wasn't even given the chance to feel awkward around them. They accepted me as easily as anything, all but one. The big surprise of the evening were the two newest members of the pack. Seth and Leah Clearwater. I had met Leah once or twice before but she seemed different now. I wasn't sure whether her father's death or being the only female in the pack had caused this bitter, resentful streak to come out in her. Throughout the evening her comments were sharp and mean, and she didn't hesitate throwing the occasional snide remark at me.

The boys had made hamburgers, and I watched with amazement as they downed more than I could count. I was pretty sure Jacob was into double digits now. Even Leah ate about four. After everyone finally seemed full, I got up to clear the plates. I noticed Leah sneer as I headed to the kitchen. What was that girl's problem with me? I'd never done anything to her.

Someone coughed behind me and I turned to see Leah, plate in hand, glaring at me.

"Way to be the pathetic girl, Bella, clean up after the guys. Nice."

I was taken aback and managed to choke out, "Excuse me?"

"Do you have any idea how difficult it is for me to be taken seriously? And you just happily play the part of poor, pathetic doting girlfriend. You're not even his imprint." She slammed the plate down on the counter and it broke clean in half. "Shit," she muttered, running a hand through her short hair.

"I'm sorry," I began, not sure what I was sorry for. "I don't understand -"

"No, of course you don't," she cut me off. "You have no idea what you're doing to him. Doing to yourself."

"Leah, I don't know what you're talking about," I said, half-pleading. I'd never had such hatred directed towards me before.

"You're not his imprint," she said again. "He'll break your heart, do you really want to go through all of that again?"

"Go away, Leah." I turned and Jacob was standing in the doorway, his face thunderous. "Get out of here."

She gave me one last look and stormed out of the room. I tried to draw breath but it came out as a sob. Before I knew it, Jacob had swept me up into his arms, and was stroking my hair.

"Don't listen to her, Bella," he said, his voice low. "She's bitter. She hates seeing happiness in anyone else when she can't be happy herself."

"She's right, Jake. I'm not your imprint. You're going to find someone else."

He squeezed me tighter and I felt his lips brush my hair. "Come on," he said quietly, his voice sounding hoarse. "We'll wait for the rest of the guys to go, then we'll talk, ok? We'll try and figure this out."

Exhaustion hit me when I sat back down, and I tried to lose myself in the happiness of the remaining pack members. Leah's words kept ringing in my ears but I didn't want think about it. At some point I fell asleep and barely registered Jake carrying me through to bed.

ooo

My shivering woke me, and I reached down my bed for the quilt, but my fingers found nothing. Blinking, my eyes slowly adjusted to the dim light and realising that I wasn't in my own room, I sat up straight, looking around in panic. Spotting the motorcycle poster on the wall, I suddenly realised I was in Jacob's bed. I must have fallen asleep at the party.

Swearing quietly under my breath, I swung my legs out of bed. Charlie would be worried, I hadn't called him. I slipped out of Jacob's room, shaking with cold. Padding into the living area, I saw a mountainous shape on the couch and grinned. The huge lump was snoring loudly.

"Jake," I whispered, shaking his shoulder gently. His snoring didn't even falter. "Jake," I said, louder this time and shook him harder.

He sat up with a jerk, missing my face by inches. "Bells, what's wrong?'

"I must've fallen asleep, I've got to get home. Charlie will be worried."

He yawned and stretched his arms. "No, that's ok, I called him and told him you fell asleep. He was fine with it: he said you'd probably come straight back in the morning, so what was the point in leaving." He grinned at me then noticed my shivering. "Shit, Bella, you're freezing. Come on, let's get you back to bed."

He took my hand and led me back to his room.

"Come on, honey, hop in," he said, pulling his thin blankets back. I smiled at his sweetness and climbed under the covers.

"Wait, Jake, what are you doing?" I protested as he climbed into the small bed beside me. "You can't sleep here too."

"Aw quit whining Bella, I'm just warming it up a little for you."

I huffed, but was secretly glad for the extra warmth. It had turned into a cold night, and Jake's thin blanket, while sufficient for a werewolf, wasn't enough for me. I let myself relax into the crook of his arm and listened to the soft thrumming of his heartbeat.

"Do you miss your Mom?" he asked me quietly, and I opened my eyes sleepily.

"Yea," I murmured. "I really do. My whole life I've always kinda taken care of her. Almost like I was _her_ mom. It's strange now, her being so far away from me. I really do miss her."

"If you were so busy taking care of her, who was taking care of you?"

I didn't reply at once, just shifted my body so I could look up into his face. His eyes were closed.

"I guess I just learnt to take care of myself. I always had to be the serious one, the sensible one."

He smiled, still not opening his eyes, but drew me a little closer, his other arm resting across my waist. "I can imagine, little Bella, bossy as ever."

I thudded my un-damaged fist against his chest. "I'm not bossy."

"Sure, sure. You keep telling yourself that."

I laughed at his teasing.

"You feeling a bit warmer?"

"Mmhmm. You're like a space-heater, Jake."

"Feel free to rent me during the winter." He cracked open an eye and smiled down at me, then his face turned more serious. "I don't remember my mom. I mean, we have a couple of photos, and sometimes I think I remember her, but I was too young when she died."

I kept quiet. Never had I heard Jake talk about his mother before and my heart reached out for him. I peered up into his face, but his eyes were closed again.

"My sisters remember her. And I don't think they ever got over it, either. Her death, I mean. They got out of here as quick as they could, anyway." He sighed. "It feels like it's always just been me and my dad. And then when I found out that I was a werewolf, I wanted so badly for it all to just go away. I hated it, I hated having my humanity ripped away from me. And my dad didn't get any of that. He was just so fucking proud that his son was a werewolf."

I reached up and stroked his face, surprised to feel wetness on his cheeks. "No, Jake," I breathed. "You did _not_ lose your humanity. You're more human than anyone I know. You're a _better_ human than anyone I know."

And before he could open his eyes, I leaned my face up into him and pressed my lips gently to his. He flinched away in surprise, but recovered quickly and then he was kissing me back, so gently and slowly, his warm, soft lips moving delicately against my own. His hand swept down my side and rested on the small of my back, pulling my body tighter against him, and my own arm slipped around his waist. Exploring his lips, I traced my tongue gently along his bottom lip and he opened for me, his kisses not as gentle now, but harder, with a kind of desperation behind them. Then he pulled me up so I was laying on top of him, our bodies pressed hard together and somehow my hand had become tangled in his hair. I was lost in him, our mouths working together, his hands running up and down my back, exploring the skin beneath my shirt. And then I could feel his excitement pressing into me and I pulled back off of him, gasping slightly as awareness hit me.

"Bella?" His voice was low and husky.

"My hand," I mumbled, climbing off of him, and holding up my still bandaged hand. "It was – um – getting squashed."

"Oh," he sat up and took my hand in his own. "Is it ok? You didn't hurt it again?"

I shook my head and looked away from him, trying to clear my mind. What had just happened? I wasn't ready for this, it was too much, too soon. I looked up and he was gazing at me, concern in his dark eyes.

"Are you sure you're ok, Bella?"

I swallowed. "I'm sorry, Jake, I'm just not ready for this. It's just so much. And then I was on top of you and I could feel…" I trailed off, not even sure what I was trying to say.

To my surprise, he smiled and lay back down on the pillows. "You don't have to be sorry, Bella. We'll take it slow, ok?"

I scooted over so that I was sitting next to him, looking down at his calm, happy face. "But Jacob, I'm not even sure if that's what I want. I don't know what I want."

"It's ok, Bella," he laughed and pulled me down next to him. "You're allowed to be confused. You've got a lot to be confused about." He wrapped his arms around me and kissed my hair. "Sleep now, honey, we can talk about all of this later, ok?"

I obeyed and closed my eyes, falling quickly into a deep, and luckily dreamless, sleep.

ooo

A stream of early morning light shone through the grubby window as I was stirred awake the next morning. It must have still been very early and I could hear the soft morning song of birds from outside. I realised that movement next to me had caused me to wake, and I pressed my eyes harder together in protest. I wasn't ready to leave sleep yet. The bed creaked and I felt warm lips press against my forehead before the heavy weight beside me vanished and I heard the bedroom door open and close. I sighed and nestled back under the blankets, willing sleep to wash back over me.

"Jacob," I heard Billy's deep voice rumble from the kitchen.

"Oh, hey Dad, I didn't think you'd be up so early."

"Yea, I couldn't sleep." There was a pause. "Jake, what are you doing? You know she's the Sheriff's daughter, don't you? That man has a gun."

"Aw come on, Dad, it's not like that." There was another pause and some faint clattering. "She's going through a rough time with the Cullens being back."

"I get that, Jake, but you need to be careful. I don't know what you kids are up to and frankly, I don't want to know. But don't go getting her pregnant now, make sure you're being sensible and taking all the right precautions."

"Dad!" I heard a smash of breaking crockery, and sat up in bed, my eyes flying open. I could picture the embarrassment on Jacob's face, and assumed that it mirrored my own. "Dad, seriously, you don't have to give me _the talk_, ok? Bella and I aren't sleeping together, you're not going to be Grandpa Black anytime soon, alright?"

"Ok, ok, I'm just saying -"

"Yes, thank you." His voice was stony. "When the time comes, we will take every precaution, ok?" I could hear his heavy footsteps coming back down the hallway and looked up as he opened the door. His eyes widened to see me awake, and he quickly slipped into the room, shutting the door quietly behind him. He must have seen the expression on my face because he brushed a hand through his untidy hair and asked, "How much of that did you hear?"

"All of it," I admitted, finding it hard to look into his eyes. He crossed to the bed and sat down, taking my hand in his and intertwining our fingers.

"Sorry," he mumbled. "That was pretty embarrassing."

"Just being a parent," I muttered, not sure what else to say. What had he meant 'when the time comes'? Did he think we were going to start having sex? We weren't even in a relationship. That I knew of anyway.

I was so angry with myself. I'd made such a mess out of everything, given Jacob false hope last night.

"Listen, Jake, I should get going. I need to go home and shower and stuff before work today."

"Aw, c'mon Bella, at least stay for breakfast. I'll make pancakes?" He tilted my chin up so that I was looking into the full force of his eyes and my willpower faltered.

"Fine," I murmured. "I'll stay for pancakes. But as long as I get to make them, I'm not sure how much I trust your cooking."

He grinned, leaned forward and pecked me on the lips, then dragged me out of bed after him.

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**Thanks for reading, please leave a review and let me know what you think! xx **


	6. Chapter 6

**Hi everyone! Thank you so much to all my lovely reviewers, xdzumux: glad you're still enjoying the story! 2angelwings: yeah, he's such a sweetie, wish i had one... Juju xo: thanks so much for the lovely reviews! hope you keep reading, jacob lupo: glad you enjoyed the fluff, always my fave bits to write, liv2read2luv: glad you're liking it so far, sorry the update took so long! **

**Sorry it took me so long to update, but I have a 50% assignment due tomorrow, which is why I'm updating now :D oh the joys of being a uni student! Enjoy!**

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I was walking along today, a smile playing on my lips, and I realised that I'm happy. Really happy. Happiness. It's a funny thing. Sometimes it just sneaks up on you without you even realising it. Happiness isn't having everything you want. Happiness isn't having the perfect life. Happiness is looking beyond the imperfections and being grateful for what you do have.

I think one of the most important things about happiness is that you don't rely on other people to provide it for you. If you can't love yourself or be happy with yourself, then how could someone else do that for you?

I let the sunshine play on my face and breathed in the salty air. The cool wind blew in my hair and tickled my neck. See, no one can just start life again, start from scratch. It doesn't work like that. You just start each day differently and create a new ending for yourself. Take everyday as it comes, and look towards the future with hopes and dreams.

"Bella?"

"Shh," I mumbled, clenching my eyes tighter. "I'm having an existential moment."

There was a pause where the boy beside me seemed to consider my words. "I have no idea what that means. Are you like discovering yourself or something?"

I cracked an eye open and gazed at his beautiful, confused face. "No, I'm creating myself."

He just grinned and rolled his eyes, a bad habit he'd picked up from me. We were sitting outside our cave, enjoying the weak afternoon sunshine. Jake had brought a box of donuts up with us, and all that remained now were a few crumbs and a stomach ache.

"Do you ever feel like this is just the calm before the storm?" I asked sleepily, laying back on the warm rock and letting my feet dangle over the cliff edge.

"I don't know," Jacob replied slowly, picking up a small stone and throwing it into the waves far below. I watched it disappear into the dark waters. "Maybe this is like the calm at the end of a long summer's day. When everything has fallen into its right place."

"Sometimes I think we have to live life one day at a time. The past is gone, and the future could hold anything. We need to just live for now, and make every day as good as we can."

"Maybe," Jacob muttered. "I like looking into the future though, I like the potential it holds." He turned and his gaze met mine, a small smile playing on his lips. He leant back, supporting his weight on his arm and gazed down at me, before brushing a lock of hair from my face.

"But doesn't the future scare you?" I asked him. "Knowing that any day now you could see your soul mate and imprint on her?"

He shook his head and ran his finger gently along the curve of my cheek.

"What are we doing, Jake?" I asked, my voice nearly a whisper. "What is this?" I indicated us.

"No labels, remember?" He smiled and leant closer, his lips brushing the tip of my nose. "We're just being us, just living for today and doing what feels right. Why should we hold back?" His lips grazed my own then descended further to kiss my chin, jaw line and nip at my neck. I drew away from him and sat up.

"Jacob…"

"No, Bella. Kissing you feels right. Being with you feels right. I feel safe with you, and I know you feel the same. This is _us_, Bella."

I drew my knees up to my chest and felt him mould his body around me, pulling me back into his torso, his legs either side of me.

I hesitated, knowing what I wanted to say, but not knowing what the repercussions would be. But Jacob was right. What difference do words make? The feelings weren't going to change. "I love you, Jacob."

I could feel his body stiffen behind me as he drew a sharp intake of breath. "What?"

"I love you," I repeated then exhaled slowly. "I wish I didn't, because the last time I gave away my heart and soul I had it smashed into a million pieces. And I know what everyone says. They all say it's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all, but Jake, I can't ever go through that pain again. It wasn't worth it. _Nothing_ is worth that."

"No, Bella," he cupped my face in his large hand and drew me around so I was facing him. "I would never do that to you. I'll never put you through that pain."

Until he imprinted. I didn't want to bring it up again, he hated being a werewolf enough as it was, why should I keep reminding him of this? But what else was I supposed to do? We were stuck in a conundrum. We could never be together because of the possibility that he would find someone else. That he would have no choice but to imprint and love someone else.

"Bella, the pack can see and feel everything that I do."

I wasn't sure where he was going with this, but I let him continue.

"What I feel for you…They've never seen anything that is so close to imprinting. What we share is different to what Sam and Leah had, that was some sort of normal human love, and we're not normal Bella."

I laughed at that. "Speak for yourself."

He grinned in spite of himself. "Oh come on, a girl that runs with werewolves and vampires? You're _not_ normal Bella. It's like I'm sitting on the edge of something, nearly toppling over into it, but something's stopping me. I feel like I'm so close, Bella. Something is going to happen and everyday I feel closer to it."

"I don't know what you mean."

He sighed deeply. "No neither do I. I just wish you could understand what this felt like. I want you so badly. All I want is you. And I don't want to hurt you, ever." He leaned in and kissed me again, and I decided to stop thinking then, and let my lips work with his. I could suffer the repercussions later.

ooo

Rain splattered against the windows of the shop and I sighed. The last place I felt like being now was at work, clad in my neon orange vest, mop in hand.

"I'll mop if you like."

I looked up to see Mike's eager puppy dog face mere inches from my own, and forced a smile onto my face.

"Thanks, Mike, but it's kinda therapeutic."

He looked strangely at me. "I must admit, I've never really felt that."

At that moment the door tinkled and a girl walked in, shaking the rain from her hair, and shivering from the cold. So much for the good weather we'd been having. It had rained all week and my blissful happiness had vanished with the sunshine.

I finished mopping aisle four, my thoughts lost in the events of the weekend. I'd decided to not think quite so much when it came to how I felt about Jacob. I did love him, there was no denying that. I loved spending all my time with him, and he made me so happy. It was stupid, but I had this sudden epiphany when I switched the TV on before school one day and the morning cartoons were showing. It was _Winnie the Pooh_ and Piglet asks how to spell 'love'. Winnie replied, 'it's not something you spell, silly, it's something you feel.'

I know it sounds ridiculous but in a way that became my knew philosophy. There's no logic or reason behind emotions, and sometimes you just have to feel them.

"Hey, Bella, can you help with shoe fitting?" Mrs. Newton stuck her head around the aisle. "Mike's too busy chatting that girl up to pay attention to her shoe size."

I grinned. At least that took his attention away from me for awhile. Handing her the mop I went to offer my assistance.

"How can I help?" I asked, not having to force the smile on my face: she was leaning away from Mike who appeared to be offering her five different types of shoe at once.

The girl looked up at me, relief in her large green eyes. She held up a pair of ruined hiking boots and I grimaced. "They got totally destroyed in the rain last night. I left them outside the tent, and that was a mistake. Funny, 'cause I really like the rain, we don't get much of it down in Oklahoma, but this was kinda the last straw. I'd just broken these ones in."

She was very friendly, I noted, and her grin was a little infectious. She had a small pixie-like face, with shoulder length light brown hair, a small nose scattered with freckles and full smiling lips.

"Well, let's try and get you a new pair. I bought these grey Trailriders just last month, and haven't had any blisters from them. What size are you?"

Mike looked at me sulkily as he stomped off to get her size.

"So, where about in Oklahoma are you from?" I asked her.

"Tulsa," she said gloomily and wrinkled her nose. "Worst city in the States, I don't recommend you ever visiting. I wanted to see lots of greenery and wildlife, so a couple friends and I decided to go on a camping holiday. It's been a lot of fun so far, and this town is very cute. Have you grown up here?"

"No, I only moved to Forks last year, actually. I'm originally from Phoenix, so the constant rain gets to me a little, too."

"Oh, I love the rain," she said. "Makes the forest seem so magical. Although I can understand how you would get sick of it!"

Mike came back then with the boots, and after she skilfully dodged more flirtatious banter from Mike, I rang her purchase up.

"Sorry, I'm Josie, by the way," she said, sticking her hand out and shaking mine.

"Bella," I replied.

"Well, Bella, if you have any free time this weekend, you should come join us camping. I'm about to go buy ingredients for smores. We'll be at the Olympus Headland Campsite."

"Yea, that would be great," I replied, actually meaning it.

"Well, hopefully see you then!" she waved and left the store with a tinker.

"Think that was an open invitation?" Mike asked hopefully.

I smiled, hoping this would keep him distracted for a while. "Definitely."

"She was really sweet, wasn't she?"

"She was lovely, Mike," I laughed. "I think you two would have beautiful children together."

He grinned and poked me in the ribs then sighed thoughtfully, gazing off into the distance. "Yea…we really would."

"Hey," Mrs. Newtown called, "that girl left her sweater behind. Has she left yet?"

Mike jumped to his feet. "It's ok, I'm seeing her this weekend, I'll keep it for her!"

I laughed again at his eagerness then picked up the phone as it began to ring. It was Alice, who wanted to go shopping on Saturday. I hadn't spent much time with her lately, so agreed to go to Port Angeles for the day, which would still leave Sunday to go hiking with Josie and her friends. I'd have to see if Jacob was free to come too on Sunday. Hopefully with the distraction of Josie being around, this wouldn't upset Mike too much. He'd have to get used to Jake anyway, we were going to be together a lot more from now on.

I smiled as Mike and I stacked shelves together, and realised how much I'd missed my friends over the last year. They really were good people. Life in Forks was good…if only it would stop raining…

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**Thanks for reading! Please leave a review and let me know what you think xx **


	7. Chapter 7

**AN: **Hello my dears, sorry this has taken so long. Been a busy semester and unfortunately writing was pushed off to the side for a while. This has still been swimming around in my head yelling to get out though. This chapter's just connecting a couple of ideas (pay attention please! :D ) and the next one is already written! (exclaim in amazement) will be full of fluffiness too. Steamy fluffiness. Actually, just steam. Yum. Excited yet? love xx

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"No, no, no," I sighed and picked up what appeared to be a neon yellow tent with furry pink balls attached. "Ew, definitely no." Looking up and letting the silk fall from my hands, I came face to face with an irritated vampire.

"It's Armani. You don't say 'ew' to Armani."

"Well excuse me, but I don't care if that's Armanit, Chanel or Gucci, it's disgusting and I'm not wearing it." I waved my arm at the racks surrounding me. "I'm not wearing any of it."

She frowned but shrugged. "Well I'm glad you know the name of some designers, even if those are the most cliché. Fine, come on, we'll find you something a little less…modern."

I sighed and trekked after her, back into the cold, dreary Port Angeles weather. "Can we at least get a Starbucks first?" I asked, noting the whiny tone in my voice. Maybe I'd been hanging out with humans for too long. "Human, remember?"

She glowered again, but veered towards the coffee shop on the corner, capturing my arm in hers. "You're not getting out of this, Bella. We are going to find you a new dress for graduation, and a new outfit for the party after."

"Seriously, Alice, I don't need two different outfits for graduation. I'm not even sure I want to go as it is."

"You will go to your graduation if it kills me." She shot me a steely glare then grinned. "And no one seems to have managed that yet."

The café was crowded but warm, and after placing our orders, we found a seat by the window.

"Bella, I need to talk to you about something," Alice said, surveying me seriously.

"Um, ok, what's up Alice?"

"It's about you and Jacob."

I tried to ignore the small explosion in my chest and raised an eyebrow at her as the waitress set two coffees and a slice of cake down between us. "What about me and Jacob?" I asked sceptically, not wishing to delve into the relationship I didn't even understand.

"Are you in love with him?" She asked matter-of-factly.

"Alice," I began, not wanting to hurt her feelings. The last thing I wanted her to think was that I'd moved on from Edward mere minutes after returning to Forks. "Things are complicated. I'm not really too sure how I feel about everything…every_one_."

"Bella, we're not talking about Edward here. Take him out of the equation for right now."

"I can't do that, Alice. It's not that easy. And why does any of this matter to you anyway?"

She looked grim for a moment. "It just does, Bella. I need to _know_ you're in love with him." She hesitated. "Before anything else happens."

"Before _what _happens?" I asked, my voice stronger now. I'd yet to touch my coffee, but Alice was cupping her mug between her pale hands, and staring into the milky depths.

She looked up at me, her golden eyes concerned. "I can't say what's going to happen, Bella, because it's all still so undecided. _You're_ still undecided. It all depends on our choices now."

"What does?" I raised my voice and she shushed me. "What depends on our choices? Alice, are the Volturi coming?"

"No, no, nothing like that. They haven't made any decisions yet…although if this situation in Seattle gets any worse…" she trailed off. The Cullens had been discussing the numerous murders in Seattle lately, and I knew the situation was becoming desperate. She shook her head, and raised the mug to her lips, pretending to drink. I raised mine also and let the comforting bitter taste fill my mouth. "Trust me Bella?" she asked then, and I found it difficult to resist her pleading eyes. "Please, this is for…Edward."

My resolve crumbled at that, and she knew she had me then. "Fine, I trust you. So what choice do you need made?"

"I need to know that you love Jacob. That he's your choice."

"Why does there have to be a choice?" I snapped at her. "Why can't I just choose to live my life for myself for awhile? Not worry about anyone else." I blushed, realising how selfish that had sounded. "Sorry, I didn't mean that."

She reached over and squeezed my hand gently. "That's a perfectly reasonable request. Fine, no choices. But talking to me as your friend, your _best_ friend, what are your feelings towards the overgrown dog?" she grinned impishly at me over her mug.

Stalling, I picked up a fork and took a mouthful of the overly sweet icing. "I don't know," I said, noting how tired my voice sounded. "I love him, I really do, but I feel guilty for feeling that way. Like I still owe Edward something. It's like Jake's pushing me into something too quickly, and I want it, but I'm afraid I'm going to lose myself again."

She nodded understandingly. "But wasn't it Jacob who brought you back? Made you feel alive again?"

I shrugged. "I don't know where I'd be without him. And it feels so right between us, but Alice," I swallowed, "what if he imprints? What if I give myself away again and he leaves? I don't think I could do that twice."

She looked concerned then. "Do you think he will?"

"I really don't know. He says he won't, but Sam thought he'd never love anyone except Leah, but then he imprinted on Emily." Alice, who'd heard the stories all before, nodded again.

"But would you ever want Edward back?"

I felt my eyes widen. "Why? Did he ask you that?"

"No!" she replied quickly. "God, no. Trust me, as much as loves you, he loves your humanity more. No, the last thing he wants is for you to go back to him. I mean, he'd take you of course." She smiled sadly. "Edward could never say no to you Bella. And I really hope you don't want him back. I like this new you." She grinned. "You're more alive, more human than ever."

I smiled. "Thank you. And no, as much as I miss him, I'd never want him back." It felt good saying that, knowing that I had that control over my life, over my actions.

She seemed to relax slightly, and leaned back in her chair. "And Bella, what if he found another? Fell in love with someone else one day?"

I thought about it, and realised that it didn't horrify me – the thought of him touching someone else, being with someone else, _loving_ someone else. "I just want him to be happy, Alice. And loving someone else would make him happy." I frowned slightly then, beginning to connect the dots. "Why? What have you seen?"

"Nothing," she responded emphatically. "Absolutely nothing because no one can make their damned minds up." She smiled then. "I like Jacob, Bella. He's good for you. Keeps you on your toes and makes you laugh. And behind all the hatred, I think Edward likes him too."

I laughed at that and drained my mug, noting that Alice's was empty also. I hoped the pot plant beside her wouldn't object too strongly to the caffeine. "Come on, let's get back to it. Just nothing with frills, ok?"

ooo

Hours later we left a small boutique on the edge of Port Angeles carrying a modest paper bag. I'd finally chosen a blue knee-length silk dress with capped sleeves and a square neckline. Alice had insisted on a new pair of cream peep toed shoes and a cardigan to match.

"This will all go very well with my raincoat," I laughed. I'd managed to convince her that only one outfit was necessary, and was glad to be heading home. However she grabbed my arm as we passed a window display.

"Bella," she breathed, gazing up at the mannequin. "I've had a vision of you wearing this."

I snorted. "Yea, sure Alice." I looked at the skin tight black jeans and fairly low cut red shirt. "There is no way in hell you saw me wearing that."

"Ok, no, I didn't see it, but I _could_. God, you would look fantastic in that! Please try it. _Please_."

I sighed. "Alice, c'mon, I just want to go home. That's really not my thing. And anyway, where would I ever where it?"

Her eyes lit up dangerously then. "I have an incredible idea."

"No."

"Yes. Oh come on, I never get to have fun. Look, I'll buy something too, we won't stay out long, but there's this awesome concert on tonight." She widened her eyes and pouted.

"A concert? What, tonight?"

"Yes, they're playing at eight o'clock. Let's just try on the outfit ok, if you don't like it, then we won't go."

I couldn't believe she was talking me into this. Rolling my eyes in a very martyr-like way, I followed the tiny enthusiastic vampire into the shop, and allowed her to drag me into the changing rooms.

When I finally squeezed myself into the jeans, and chucked the top over my head, I turned and looked in the mirror. The shirt hung lower than my usual garments and I tried to adjust it. The colour contrasted rather magnificently with my skin, and despite myself, I quite liked the look, with my brown curls hanging loosely down past my shoulders.

"Try these with it," Alice demanded, holding a pair of patent black shoes over the door.

"No way. No, I'm not wearing heels."

"Oh come on, these are _barely_ heels Bella. They're not even two inches." There was a pause as she shook them at me. I folded my arms stubbornly. "Don't make me come in there."

Grumbling, I grabbed the shoes and peeled off my socks, shoving my feet in. They were surprisingly comfortable. "They really hurt," I lied.

"Just come out here, please."

I unbolted the door and stepped out. I swear, if it had been possible, her eyes would have been swimming in tears of happiness at my transformation.

"We'll take it all," Alice told the bored shop assistant. "And she'll wear it out."

The assistant shuffled away, and I opened my mouth to protest as Alice gathered my discarded clothes and shoved them into her bag.

"Bella," Alice began sternly. "How often do I get to spend time with you these days? You're my best friend, yet I rarely see you. No one else will go shopping with me. Ever since you and Edward split, I've been so lonely and I just want to spend time with you." She looked so upset I threw my arms around her, and squeezed her marble body tight.

"Oh, Alice, I'm so sorry! You know I never meant to hurt you or anyone." I drew back and looked at her devastated face. "I'm sorry I'm being so grumpy, you just know me, I'm not very good at all this girl stuff. I'm sorry, of course I'll go to this concert with you if you'd like."

Her face split into a grin and she squeezed my arm gratefully. "Well, that's decided then! I'll just text the others and let them know." She whipped out her phone and her fingers flew over the buttons as she sent out a number of messages. "I better call Charlie and let him know too." Within seconds she was chatting happily down the phone and I stared bewildered at the back of her spiky black head. How exactly had she just done that?

I had agreed to her buying me a brand new outfit and going to some concert at the same time. She was very good, I'd give her that. Sometimes I wish I had that gift of persuasion. Although, I had disappeared off to Italy for three days and Charlie hadn't so much as grounded me. I obviously wasn't too bad.

"Excellent," Alice said, snapping her phone closed and grinning at me. "All sorted, and you look fantastic! Let's go and get you something to eat before we head out."

I followed her meekly out of the store, feeling strange walking in my new heels and zipping my ratty old coat closed over my new top. I wasn't sure how comfortable I would be in my new clothes, and just hoped the concert would be dark. Hopefully I'd have time to change before getting back to Charlie's. I could just picture the stroke he'd have if he saw his little girl all dressed up for a night out.

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Hope you enjoyed. **Please review **and the next chap will be up soon (and will be full of Jacob, yum yum)

oh and **survey **regarding steam vs fluff, who want's me to up the rating? xx


	8. Chapter 8

**AN: Thanks so much to all my lovely readers and reviewers. Hope you enjoy this chapter. And don't worry, I haven't forgotten about Josie :)

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An hour later we were seated at a small Italian restaurant and a waitress had brought our food. Alice had ordered a pasta dish, and I was interested to see how she would dispose of it – no pot plants were readily available this time.

"So who are we going to see exactly?" I asked, twirling the linguine around my fork. "Someone I've heard of?"

"Uh yea," she said, pushing the ravioli around her plate. "They're a group called the Fratellis, I don't know if you know…"

"What?" I interrupted. "How did you manage to get their tickets last minute?"

She grinned. "Well I didn't exactly." A second later she was holding two tickets in her hand. "I bought them a few weeks ago. Was surprised they were coming to Port Angeles actually, but they're doing a North America tour, so…"

"You planned this," I accused, putting my fork down. "So much for missing me and wishing we spent more time together. You knew all along we'd be going to this concert tonight."

She looked sheepish then. "Ok, but I do miss you and wish we could spend more time together."

I glowered at her for a moment but soon noticed she wasn't paying the slightest attention to me, but instead checking her phone.

"Alice, you seem nervous, what's going on?"

"Nothing, I – ah, there he is."

"There who is?" I turned, and gave a start of surprise. Jacob was walking towards us, wearing a pair of dark jeans and what seemed to be a freshly ironed collared shirt. "Jake? Alice, what's going on?"

"Hey," Jacob said, reaching out table and grinning down at us. I noticed him eyeing me appreciatively and I crossed my arms self-consciously. "I can take over from here, Alice." I was almost too shocked to register his use of her name rather than his preferred 'bloodsucker' or 'leech'.

"What do you mean?" I demanded. "Alice what's going on?"

"I'm so sorry, Bella," she said, but her face was anything but apologetic. "I totally forgot that I had to do something tonight, so I asked if Jacob could take you to the concert instead. I really didn't think you'd mind. I just have a couple things I need to sort out, that's all."

I glared at her.

"Here you go, puppy - the tickets. It starts at eight, so you have an hour to get there." She gave him a dazzling smile, grabbed her coat and lent down to kiss my cheek. "We'll catch up soon, ok Bella? You look gorgeous by the way."

I just shook my head disbelievingly as Jacob took her seat.

He grinned at me. "She really does have things to do, you know. And anyway, I've always wanted to go and see these Franelli-things."

"Fratellis," I muttered through gritted teeth. "I see you almost every day as it is, why did she feel the need to set us up on a date? Jake! My eyes are up here!" He had the decency to blush at least.

"I think she wanted to get us away from the doom and gloom of Forks for a while. It's been a tough day," He rumpled his hair and for the first time I noticed he looked tired.

"What happened today?"

He hesitated. "Victoria. She came looking for you."

I felt myself pale and gripped the table for support.

"It's fine, the pack's still chasing her, they'd be up near Canada by now. You have nothing to worry about."

"That's why Alice got me out of town?"

"I would have told you," Jacob said earnestly and I believed him. "But the bloodsuckers only let us know this morning.

"So what's Alice sorting out now?"

Jacob shrugged. "She didn't say. I only got her message about an hour ago. Couldn't resist, sorry." He smiled at me, his teeth gleaming in the dull light and it took all my strength not to beam back at him.

He'd cleaned up well, I thought. His shirt was clean and ironed and I realised that I'd never seen him in a collared shirt before. It suited him. He'd attempted to brush his hair as well, although the back still stood up stubbornly.

"You look incredible by the way," he said in a low voice, and once again his eyes slipped from my face and took in the rest of me.

"Jake, seriously, stop. I'm not used to wearing nice clothes like this, I feel uncomfortable."

"Well you look awesome. I mean, don't get me wrong, you're gorgeous in anything, but tonight, well…wow." He breathed the last word and I felt a deep blush creeping up my neck and burning in my cheeks.

"Friends, Jake, remember?"

"Sure, sure," he grabbed Alice's discarded fork and tucked into her ravioli. I picked up my own fork and tried to organise my thoughts. So, Alice had got me out of town to keep me away from Victoria. Something was about to happen, but my choice on whether to accept Jacob into my heart was affecting her ability to see clearly. And what was I supposed to do about Jacob? Just disregard the fact that he could imprint at any moment? And then there was Alice's plan to set me up on this date with Jacob. What did she need to do in Forks that she wanted me out of town for? I blanched suddenly. Was Victoria still hanging around? Had something happened to Edward? One of the other Cullens?

"Jake, did anyone get hurt today?"

He looked up surprised. "No, no one. Paul and that big bloodsucker almost got into a fight though when he crossed into our land. But no, she didn't attack anyone."

"Oh, good," I breathed, feeling my heart rate slow back to normal. "I feel like she's trying to keep me away from Forks though. I just want to know why…"

Jacob shrugged. "Well nothing's going on that I know of. I wouldn't worry about it, anyway."

We chatted amicably for the rest of the meal until I noticed the time and we hurriedly paid the check and departed for the theatre. It was dark and crowded inside. Everyone seemed to have arrived early and the only remaining space was at the very back of the hall.

"Come on," Jacob yelled over the cheering crowd. "We won't see anything from back here." He grabbed my hand and half dragged me through the crowd, which parted for him. When we were nearly at the front, he stopped and pulled me in front of him, so I had a direct view of the stage.

"This is awesome, Jake," I yelled back at him, grinning at the infectious excitement of the crowd. He just smiled back and cheered with the rest of the audience as the opening band came out on stage.

The concert was amazing, as predicted. I almost went under the crowd a number of times, but luckily Jacob's strong arms held me up, and his large body protected me from most of the pushing and shoving. For hours, we danced and I sang along to the one or two songs I knew. And I found myself having fun. Really having fun. Wasn't this what life was about? What _human_ life was about? Feeling the adrenaline pumping in your veins and losing yourself in the music and the people. How had I expected just to give this all up? Give _myself_ up?

All too soon it was over and I found myself leaving the hall, laughing alongside Jacob. I hadn't thought about Edward, Victoria or the Volturi for a good three hours. I didn't even care what Alice was doing back in Forks that she needed me to stay away for. None of it really mattered at this moment. All that mattered was the blood pumping through my veins, the starry sky overhead and the dorky boy ahead of me – playing air guitar and singing off key.

"Jake, cut it out!" I called but he just grinned back at me and continued. The pursuit of happiness plays such a large role in everyone's lives. It's like everyone tries really hard to be happy, and they're so busy trying to be happy they never quite achieve it. But happiness isn't a destination that we travel to; happiness is all about the journey. I'm not sure if there really are any destinations in life. I mean, after all, at the end of the day, when you look back, what are you going to appreciate the most in life? The career, the money or the people?

"Come on, Bella!" I grinned and picked up the pace, hurrying over to where Jacob stood by the parked Rabbit. I leant to open the door as Jacob did the same. Our hands brushed and I looked up, our faces mere inches from each other. For a moment we gazed into each other's eyes, then he reached up and tucked a lock of hair behind my ear. The moment broke and he opened the door, flashing his gleaming smile at me and hurrying around to the other side of the car as I slid in.

I cranked the heating up as we drove out of Port Angeles, pulling my knees up to my chest and gazing out at the dark trees flashing past the window.

"Do you ever wonder how we got here, Jake?" I asked him so quietly that for a moment I wasn't sure whether he'd heard me or not.

"Sure, the interstate 101."

I glanced over at him and he seemed to be grinning goofily, clearly amused by his own wit. "Oh ha ha."

"Sometimes I wonder what everything would be like if the Cullens had never come to Forks. Everything would be so much simpler, no vampires, no werewolves, you and I could be…" he trailed off and glanced at me. "Well, it would have been easier anyway."

I didn't respond to this and we slipped back into our comfortable silence. In the beginning I'd wished that. For them to have never existed – never come into my life. I thought nothing was worth that pain. I thought that loving and losing was much worse than never loving at all, but now I could see clearly and the truth was I wasn't sure who I'd be if the Cullens had never come into my life. But I wasn't about to tell this to Jacob.

Jacob…what was I doing to him? Leah's angry words from the previous week echoed in my head. _You have no idea what you're doing to him. Doing to yourself. _I sighed and gazed out the window again.

We finally pulled up in front of Charlie's house and Jacob cut the engine. I waited for him to say something, but he didn't speak, just gazed out the windshield, watching the small drops of rain hit the glass.

"I had fun tonight," he said finally.

"Yea, me too Jacob. It was awesome." I hesitated. "You still on for hiking tomorrow?" I asked, remembering our plans with Josie.

"Sure sure, sounds good."

"Great, well come round whenever." I reached for the door handle and gave it a little shake but it wouldn't budge.

"Sorry, that doors been sticking, I'll take a look at it when I get home." He leant across me and shoved at the door, which clicked and opened. He looked up at me, his eyes inches from mine now and I felt the tension spike between us. Before I knew it, he'd reached up and wrapped one of his large hands in my hair, bringing my face to his and pressing his warm, soft lips into mine. It took me a moment to react but then I was kissing him back, cupping his face in my hand, exploring his mouth with my own.

Icy wind whipped in through the open door and broke the spell. I rested my forehead against Jacob's as we both caught our breath.

"I wish I could walk around with my eyes closed, Bella," he whispered, pulling back and putting his hands back on the steering wheel. "I wish you were the only person I could ever see."

I didn't want to talk about this with him now so I reached down and grabbed my bag. "I'll see you tomorrow, Jacob."

He nodded then smiled at me, his face full of warmth. "Love you, hon."

"Me too. Drive safely."

And with that he pulled away. I ran up the driveway trying to shield my face from the cold rain.

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**Thanks for reading and please leave a review, it will make my day! I really do enjoy hearing what you thought. thanks!**


	9. Chapter 9

**AN:** Hi everyone! Thanks so much for reading and reviewing! Huge thanks to liv2read2luv and Sic Vita Est for being such wonderful dedicated reviewers, love to hear feedback!

Hope you enjoy this chapter, it's going to get a little more action packed over the next few chapters! Enjoy! xx

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Hot water pounded steadily onto my back and I tipped my head backwards, enjoying the feel of it seeping through my thick hair, trickling over my scalp. I turned, letting the water run over my face, revelling in the heat. The weather was unseasonably cold for April and I wasn't particularly looking forward to the promised camping adventure today. I'd ring Mike, Angela and the others after breakfast.

I considered whether I should phone the Cullens and let them know of our plans to go into the forest, but as soon as I had the idea it seemed ridiculous. I didn't need to report my every movement to them; they weren't my babysitters. And besides I would have a werewolf there if anything happened. Although it was unlikely Victoria would attack with everyone on such high alert.

As I rinsed the shampoo from my hair, my thoughts drifted to Jacob as they often did these days. I remembered the kiss in his car last night. It had seemed desperate somehow; full of the words neither of us knew how to say.

I wondered for a moment whether Jacob had kissed any other girls besides me. I sighed and squeezed too much conditioner into my hands. He was a good-looking guy after all. He'd probably have his pick of any girl. Who was to say he hadn't kissed others? I blanched, maybe even gone further with them. I wanted to believe that Jacob had as little experience in the bedroom as me but I couldn't be sure. How well did I really know that side of him? He'd be unlikely to tell me of his experience anyway, that would be something he'd discuss with Quil and Embry over the engine of a car in his garage.

My stomach growled and I shut off the hot water, trying to shut off my thoughts of Jacob at the same time and instead resumed thinking about Victoria. How long would it take until she was caught? Weeks? Months? I guess it didn't do much good worrying about it, but I hated knowing that she was still out there, after me. And while she was out there, everyone else was in danger – the wolves, the Cullens, Charlie. I sighed and rubbed my hair dry with a towel. I glanced at the hair dryer sitting by the sink but couldn't be bothered to put in the effort. We'd be spending most of the day hiking and out in the drizzling rain anyway, so what did a bit of frizz matter?

My stomach grumbled again, reminding me that I had yet to feed it. Right. Breakfast. I made my way downstairs, following the scent of freshly brewed coffee. I raised my eyebrows as I entered the kitchen, knowing something was up – Charlie only made filtered coffee if he was going to have a rough day. Otherwise he'd have instant.

"Hey Dad," I greeted him, popping a bagel into the toaster. He was pouring over some flyers on the table. "Jake and I were going to go hiking today. I think the weather's supposed to clear up." I gazed out the window at the gloomy sky. It looked to me like the rain had settled in and I hoped Josie's new hiking boots were holding up. "That reminds me actually, I need to call Mike and see what time he wants to head off."

Charlie grunted in response, not looking up from his papers. I sighed and was about to walk over to the phone when the doorbell rang.

"I'll get it," I mumbled, though Charlie was clearly too engrossed in what he was doing to notice. So much for having a weekend off. On a typical Sunday he'd already be on the boat with Billy, casting his line out and waiting for a bite. I pulled open the door and grinned up at the giant lurking outside.

"Hey Jake, you're early! Want some breakfast?"

He smiled at me but shook his head. "Nah, already ate." He came inside and I closed the door behind him. His wolfy senses had smelt the coffee and I followed him into the kitchen where he was already pouring himself a cup. I plucked my bagel from the toaster and smeared a healthy serving of cream cheese over both halves.

"Morning Charlie," Jacob said, sipping from his mug before his eyes flicked back to me. His expression was strange, almost apprehensive.

"Hey Jake. You kids are hiking today?"

"Yes sir," Jacob replied. "Someone's gotta be there to catch Bella when she trips." They both sniggered as I stuck my tongue out at him and stalked from the kitchen.

Jacob followed me up to my bedroom, the strange expression still on his face. I rummaged through my wardrobe, searching for a sweater and trying to ignore him but flashes of our kiss from the night before kept running through my head.

"Bella," Jacob said softly and I turned to see him sitting on my bed, his head bent low over his mug. "I need to talk to you about something."

I stopped what I was doing. "What's wrong Jacob?"

"I made a promise once that I would never hurt you." He looked up at me then, his eyes full of sadness. "And believe me, I would do anything I possibly could to keep that promise. But after I dropped you off last night, I did a lot of thinking."

I felt my breath hitch in my chest and sat down heavily on the bed, my bagel now dangling from limp fingers.

"I love you," he said looking up at meeting my eyes. "I love you so much, and if I had the choice I would choose you, a thousand times over. But I have been so selfish. I keep trying to convince you…convince _myself_ that I will never imprint and never fall in love with anyone else. But last night I realised that I was naïve to promise you that. If I could walk around with my eyes closed I would, because I never want anyone but you." He reached out and grabbed my hand then. "Please believe me, Bella, if I ever imprint, it will be completely against my will. I would never willingly choose anyone but you."

He was quiet then, and I wasn't sure what to do with this. Everything he'd just said I already knew. I'd always known he could imprint, but having him say it just made it so much more real somehow.

"I don't understand what you're saying," I said quietly.

"I'm just trying to be honest with you, Bella. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. And no matter what happens, you must know, that you and I, we'll always be best friends." I could see the pain inside his eyes when he said this. The anger and resentment burning just below the surface. "Nothing could ever change that."

I felt my eyes prick with tears and got up from the bed, shaking his hand off me. I gave myself a second to collect my emotions then turned around and smiled at him. "Of course we'll always be best friends. You know way too many embarrassing stories for me to let you go now." I grinned, hoping he would laugh. The corners of his mouth turned up a little.

"Thanks, Bells," he said quietly. "I just want to give you all the facts. And I want you to know that you will always be my first choice."

I nodded then pulled on my sweater, hoping to mask the tears that I knew were gathering in my eyes. I was being stupid anyway, nothing had changed. But I couldn't help the feeling of loneliness from sweeping over me – threatening to pull me under.

"I'd better give Mike a call," I said, shoving a few things into my backpack. "He was invited too," I added seeing the frown cross Jacob's face.

"Fine," he sighed, standing up and gulping down the remaining coffee in his mug. "As long as there's no puking this time."

Before I'd even noticed what he was doing, he'd pulled me into a bone-crushing bear hug and I felt his lips press into my hair. "Thank you, Bella," he whispered into the top of my head and I responded by wrapping my arms around him and pulling him close.

ooo

As we walked back into the kitchen, Charlie glanced briefly up at us and smirked. I felt a blush creeping into my cheeks and tried to divert his attention by picking up one of the flyers and glancing down at it.

The colour drained from my face as quickly as it had risen. Bold words stood out: **Missing Person** and underneath was a picture of a familiar face, beaming happily out of the photo. Beneath that was written _Josie Turner, 18, last seen Thursday April 29__th__ at the Olympus Headland Campsite_.

The paper shook in my hand as I tried to interpret what I was seeing. She'd already been missing for three days. My thoughts flitted instantly to Victoria – she'd been in the forest only yesterday, had she attacked Josie? I shuddered, not even wanting to go there.

"Bella?" I realised Charlie was saying my name and I turned to face him, feeling slightly faint.

"I met her. On Thursday. She came into the shop to buy new hiking boots." I turned to look at Jacob who was frowning slightly. "She was the girl we were going to go hiking with today."

Charlie stood up then, and gathered the papers together. "Her friends reported her missing Friday morning when she hadn't come back to the campsite the night before. We're worried it might be them wolves again."

The phone rang then and I hurried to answer it.

"Hey Bella," Mike greeted me. He didn't sound his normal joyful self. "Seen the flyers?"

"Yea, just now," I replied glancing down at the paper in my hand. "I can't believe it." I didn't really want to talk to Mike right now. I wanted to get in my truck and drive to the Cullens, see what Alice knew and whether Victoria had been hunting in this area. Mike was talking about a search party and I interrupted him. "Here, Mike, talk to my dad. He's probably keen to have some help if they're going out looking for her." I didn't wait for his reply, but instead handed the phone over to Charlie then gave Jacob a significant look. He shook his head ever so slightly.

I nodded towards the living room and followed him out of the kitchen.

"I know what you're thinking, Bella, but we'd have smelt it if Victoria had just killed someone. We didn't smell any blood on her. And we were miles from the Headland anyway." He shook his head. "No, I'm not sure this was her, but it could have been another bloodsucker…Listen, I've got to get back and talk to the pack, we'll get out looking for her. Can you go around to the Cullens? See if the fortune-teller's seen anything."

I nodded, choosing to ignore his jibe at Alice. "Be careful, Jake, okay?"

He grinned. "Where's the fun in careful?" I hit his arm playfully but he just gathered me up into another hug then pulled back slightly to meet my eyes. "Don't worry, ok? We're going to find out where she's gone. Who knows, maybe she just got lost." He leant down then and pressed his lips gently to mine. "Give me a call when you've talked to the Cullens," he said heading towards the door. "Let us know what they're planning."

He winked at me then he was gone and I sat down heavily in the armchair. I shouldn't assume the worst – Jacob was right, maybe she had just wandered off and got lost.

"Bella, I'm going to head down to the station, see if we can find this kid. Will you be ok here?" Charlie poked his head around the door. "Oh, hey, where'd Jacob go?"

"Oh he's heading down to La Push to see if any of his friends want to join in the search party," I lied quickly. "I think I'm going to give Alice a call and head over there – don't feel like sitting at home alone."

"Sounds like a good idea," Charlie said. "Don't worry about dinner, we'll just order in pizza." And with that he was gone. I waited until I heard his cruiser pull out of the drive then sprang to my feet.

I needed to talk to the Cullens.

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Please take a moment to review, it means so much to me! I have already written the next few chapters so they should be up soon. They may even involve some **imprinting** :o)


	10. Chapter 10

**AN:** First of all, thank you so much to all my wonderful reviewers. I was absolutely thrilled when I logged in and saw how many reviews I got this past week, so a huge thanks! Hope you enjoy this chapter! Next update will be up shortly :)

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The tires of my old truck crunched loudly on the gravel as I drew up alongside the Cullen's large house. Alice was waiting for me on the steps, her hands folded in front of her, a slight crease between her eyebrows. I leapt out of the car and slammed the door hard behind me.

"Was it Victoria?" I asked frantically as I ran up the steps towards her, one of Charlie's flyers clenched tightly in my fist. I handed it to her and she glanced down at the face.

"No," she shook her head. "I would have seen if Victoria attacked someone."

Esme had stepped outside as well now and she rested her hand on my shoulder. "I'm sorry, Bella. But sometimes campers just get lost."

"Can you try and track her?"

"Yes, of course. Come inside and talk to the others. We'll try and find her."

Alice closed her eyes and held her fingertips to her temples. "Bella, is there a sweater?"

"What?" I replied, turning back to her.

"Do you have one of her sweaters?"

I opened my mouth to say no but as I did, I remembered Mrs. Newton holding up a navy blue sweater, which Mike had grabbed from her enthusiastically. "Yes! Well, no, Mike Newton has it."

Alice followed me inside to the living room, where the rest of the Cullen family had assembled. My eyes rested briefly on Edward who smiled warmly at me, but did not move to my side as he previously would have.

"Take us through this, Bella," Carlisle said quietly. "With Alice's skill it's not often we are surprised by something."

I glanced at Alice's face but it was blank, showing no emotion. Jasper quietly got up from his place on the sofa and moved so he was standing behind her. He rested his hand on her shoulder and her face softened ever so slightly.

"I met Josie on Thursday at work when she came in to buy hiking boots. She left her sweater behind and Mike took it. We were supposed to meet up with her and her friends today to go hiking, but Charlie said she hasn't been seen since Thursday evening." I paused and licked my lips. "Victoria was in this area yesterday," I looked at Alice again, trying to keep accusation out of my eyes.

Emmett snorted. "See Edward, I knew that dog would tell her anyway. So much for getting her out of Forks."

"You what?" I asked, turning to Edward now who looked wary.

"Alice saw Victoria getting close to Forks. It was best to get you out of town."

"But that wasn't your decision to –"

"Enough." Alice said firmly. "What's important now is that I didn't see Victoria attack anyone. I'm keeping an eye on the whole area, I would know if any other vampires were around." My blood went cold as I thought of the Volturi, but she pressed on. "Emmett and Jasper, if you two could get that sweater from the Newton's place, then we'll go out and track her."

Her phone buzzed then and she snapped it open. She didn't speak straight away but after a moment said, "Yes that's fine. We're waiting to get her scent." She paused again, listening to the person on the other end of the phone then said, "Come here and we can discuss boundaries." She listened for another moment then her lips curled into a smile and she laughed shortly. "See you soon, dog."

She turned her amber eyes to the rest of the room. "The wolves will help."

"Good," Carlisle said firmly. "Jasper, Emmett, go and find that sweater, we'll wait."

The two vampires vanished and I followed their path back out the front door and sat on the steps. I felt someone sit beside me but didn't look up immediately. I had an idea who it would be.

"Sorry," he said quietly. "I shouldn't have tried to keep Victoria's presence a secret from you. But I didn't want to frighten you."

"It's ok, Edward. I know why you did it." I sighed and I watched as he stretched his hand out tentatively to rest on top of mine. I flinched a little at his icy touch but didn't pull away.

"I am sorry to see you so worried about your friend."

"I don't understand why Alice can't just look for her," I replied, keeping my voice low, although I knew this wouldn't stop her from overhearing.

He didn't speak for a moment and seemed to be considering his words. "She's been keeping her thoughts hidden from me all day. I know she's missing things – what with all the deaths in Seattle. But I'm not sure what's going on here. That girl's face has popped into her head all morning, even before you arrived."

I looked up at Edward then and met his golden eyes. To my surprise my stomach didn't even react to his level gaze. No butterflies. No acrobats. I smiled at him. Realisation slowly crept into my consciousness and I knew then that I didn't love him anymore. I cared for him, deeply as I'm sure I always would, but I wasn't in love with him. It felt as though a weight had lifted off of my shoulders at this and I smiled at him and squeezed his fingers gently. Then I heard a gasp inside and Edward and I turned our heads quickly to look back through the open doors. Alice appeared in the doorway looking simultaneously outraged and amazed.

"Bella, what did you just do?" she demanded, glaring down at me.

"Do?" I asked, feeling nothing but confusion. I hadn't done anything.

"Alice, what does this mean?" Edward asked, his voice sounding almost frightened.

"What? What's going on?"

"Isabella Swan, you're entire future just disappeared! What did you do?"

I gaped at her, trying to figure out what the hell was going on when the roar of an engine filled the air and I looked up to see a large man bent low on a motorbike speed up the driveway and park next to my truck.

Jacob climbed off and began to walk over to us when all of a sudden his entire body froze, his eyes locked on mine. Slowly, he began to shake, as though he was having a fit, then he fell hard on his knees, his eyes never leaving my face. I flew to my feet, not sure whether to run to him or not. Was he phasing? A low growl filled the air and I turned to see where it was coming from. Edward was no longer seated either, but was crouching by my side, his lips curled in a snarl, one of his arms thrown protectively in front of me.

"What's going on?" I yelled at no one in particular, my eyes flitting back to Jacob whose hands were clutched into fists at his sides, his eyes wide and staring at me in shock. "What's happening?"

**Earlier… Jacob's Point of View**

I was speeding down the freeway, pushing the rabbit's engine as hard as it would go. The radio played mindlessly in the background and I drummed my fingers in frustration. What I wouldn't give to be running through the forest right now, my paws flying on the damp ground, the fresh scent of rain in my nose.

"Come on," I muttered impatiently. I thought back to Bella and the words I'd said to her this morning. It had killed me, saying those words. There was nothing I wanted more in this world than her. Nothing. How could my free will be taken away from me like that? It just didn't seem possible. But running with Leah last night had hit me hard. She hadn't been controlling her thoughts and I could see what it had done to her – Sam leaving.

What if I did that to Bella? What if I lost all control? All free will?

I turned down the path to my house and gunned the engine again. Dammit, why was everything going so slowly? I pulled off my t-shirt as I drove and reached down to untie my shoelaces. Not until the house came into view and I had parked did I kill the engine and kick off the shoes completely.

Dad was sitting on the front porch and looked up at my arrival but I didn't have time to do more than wave before I ran off into the forest, pulled off my cut-offs and leaped into the air. I felt my body shake then rip into being and suddenly I was running hard, my paws thudding through the trees. Voices immediately filled my head but quietened as they felt my urgency.

_Jacob, what happened?_ Sam's voice asked.

_A hiker's gone missing. One of Bella's friends. She thinks it may have been the red head._

_Or another vamp_, Quil interjected, excitement filling him as he considered this possibility.

_Or hopefully none_, Sam replied. _Where were they last?_

_Olympus Headland, three days ago. The bloodsuckers are going to try and track her_.

_Okay,_ Sam replied, not liking the idea of vampires searching for a human girl, especially if she'd hurt herself and was bleeding. I agreed, not sure what type of control these bloodsuckers had, no matter how much Bella trusted them. _Quil and Embry, start running to the national park. Jacob, get to the Cullens and find out what they're doing. We don't want any accidents here. Paul, Seth, Leah and I will step up the patrols. This could be a diversion to get us out of the way and leave Bella open to the redhead_.

The thought made me feel sick, but I knew Sam was right. We'd have to rearrange boundaries to keep Bella safe. I began to run back towards my house. Running would be the fastest way, but I wasn't going to arrive at the Cullens doorstep as a werewolf – not the best way to begin discussions. I'd take the bike instead; it would be faster.

As my house came into view I phased, waved at Billy again and ran around to my garage, leaping onto my bike in a single movement and gunning the engine. I fished my cell phone out of my pocket and punched in Alice's number. It rang once.

"Hey bloodsucker, we're going to join you in the hunt. Sound like fun?"

"Yes that's fine. We're waiting to get her scent," Alice replied.

"I assume you've also come to the conclusion that this may be a distraction. Leave Bella unprotected so the redheaded leech can slip through our protection. Some of the pack will need to patrol the area around Forks."

"Come here and we can discuss boundaries."

"Excellent. Oh and I'm all for keeping Bella in the loop, but may be best to keep this theory from her."

"See you soon, dog."

I snapped the phone shut and in an instant I was back on the freeway, the wind blowing through my hair as I headed for the Cullens'.

Two figures were sitting on the steps as I arrived. I wondered how best to work this thing. As much as I wanted to get out there and track down this girl, I also wanted to stay here by Bella's side, just in case this was a diversion. The last thing I wanted was the redhead slipping through our defences while we were off looking for a lost hiker.

I cut the engine and dismounted, glancing up as I did so.

And then it hit me.

My breath left me as though I'd been hit in the gut as I met her eyes and suddenly I couldn't breathe. It was as though the whole world was going dark around me and she was all I could see.

And boy could I see her – every freckle on her nose, the sleep that was still in her eyes, how her hair curled around her face and fell down her shoulders and back. Her large brown eyes were suddenly fearful as she watched me and I could feel my whole body begin to tremble. I tried to stop the shaking but all my strength was gone and I collapsed to my knees, clenching my fists.

Nothing mattered anymore. Nothing in the world mattered. I felt every connection to the world and to my life begin to fade, leaving just Bella, now standing before me, looking utterly panicked.

Slowly my senses seemed to reawaken and I was minutely aware of all the sounds and smells around me. My heart was beating hard in my chest and I stared up at her. How had this happened? Not that it mattered, now. All that mattered was that it had happened. It had happened.

Edward's voice rang out loud and clear, and I felt myself smiling as I heard the words. "The wolf just…imprinted."

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**Sorry for the split point of view, I sort of know it's lazy writing, but hey, it's easier. Please leave a review and let me know what you thought! Next chapter up soon xx**


	11. Chapter 11

**AN: Thank you so much to all my wonderful reviewers. Again I was so thrilled with the feedback, thought I would be kind in return and update immediately :) Hope you like this chapter, promise to include some more fluffiness soon, but am quite enjoying having a plot at the moment. Enjoy! **

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"You need to go and find her now." Alice's voice reached my ears from what seemed like miles away. I was still gazing at Jacob who was staring back at me, both of our mouths hanging open.

"What about the others?" I heard Carlisle ask. "I thought we were waiting for them to come back."

"No," she replied firmly. "No, we were waiting for _this_."

"What?" Edward's voice penetrated my conscious then and I blinked, turning my face slightly, my eyes still not leaving Jacob's. "Alice what the hell is going –" he stopped speaking then and exhaled slowly. When he spoke his voice was low and afraid. "Alice, what have you done?"

I turned then to face them, feeling overwhelmed by the events unfolding around me.

"Just find her, Edward. Find her and I'll explain everything."

I couldn't move. Every part of me had frozen to the spot. Only my mind was still functioning, racing through everything that had occurred in the past 20 seconds, trying to piece it all together, figure out what was happening.

Slow down, I told myself. Slow down, prioritise.

I tried to breathe normally, but I could feel hysteria coming on. My joints unfroze then and I felt my knees buckle. I sat quickly and placed my head between my knees, trying to stop my vision from spinning.

Think, Bella.

Josie had vanished.

Alice had known about this

Jacob had just imprinted

Alice had been waiting for him to imprint.

Ok, but what did this all mean?

"Bella, Bella, are you ok?" I felt hands on me, one pair trying to lift me the other holding me down. I batted them away and focused yet again on breathing. In. Out. In. Out.

"I'm fine," I mumbled raising my head ever so slightly and blinking. Jacob was crouching over me, his eyes worried. Alice had her hands on the back of my neck, trying to cool me down, as though I had a fever. "Really. I'm fine, just a little overwhelmed."

"Alice, go and get her a glass of water. Jacob, would you mind carrying her inside please?" Esme's calm voice was filled with a firm authority and I felt Jacob's arms scoop me up as instructed. For once I didn't protest, glad to feel the security of his body close to mine.

He set me down gently on the sofa as Alice pressed a glass of cold water into my hands.

"Alice, I think you need to explain everything," Esme said quietly, her voice still firm. It was the voice of a mother, and I smiled up at her, glad she was taking control when I had so clearly lost it.

"It's complicated," Alice said quietly, "I'm not really sure where to start."

"The beginning," Jacob growled from beside me, and my heart thudded as I realised what had happened between us.

"I saw Josie fall into the ravine on Friday morning. She got lost and fell, snapping her spine in three places. Nothing we did could have prevented that, it was too late. She was unconscious by the time she hit the ground."

I gasped and pressed a hand over my mouth, feeling my eyes well up with tears. Alice glanced briefly at Jacob, but continued on with the story.

"As soon as I saw this I made up my mind to tell the rest of my family – to find her and save her life. But as soon as I made this decision I saw her future." She paused and clasped her hands together. "She would survive but she would spend the rest of her life as a paraplegic, living in a wheelchair. She doesn't have any parents, so her life would be very difficult – unpleasant. I hesitated then, not sure if saving her would be the right thing to do. As soon as I hesitated, I saw the alternative choice. Suddenly Josie was more alive than ever – walking around, laughing…in love. But her eyes…were bright red."

"A vampire," I whispered and I felt Jacob stiffen beside me. I put a hand on his knee to calm him. "Go on," I urged her.

"Well this was where it got difficult. You see, I saw her with Edward, but only some of the time. Because you, Bella, couldn't make your damn mind up." Alice looked frustrated, and I'd never heard her swear before. It surprised me. "You see, while you were still unsure of your feelings for Edward, you'd never let that dog – sorry – _Jacob_ imprint upon you. And until Jacob imprinted, Edward couldn't be sure you had moved on. And _Edward_ never would have moved on until _he_ was sure that you were ok with it."

"Hang on," I stopped her, confused. "So because I hadn't chosen Jacob…Jacob couldn't choose me?"

"Exactly," Alice beamed. "And until Edward was completely sure you had moved on, he wouldn't either. He could never leave you alone like that."

I leaned back into the couch and exhaled deeply. "So how does Josie fit into all of this?"

"Josie will be Edward's mate," Alice said quietly as if by lowering her voice it would hurt less. "But Edward would never change a human being unless he was completely sure it was the right thing to do."

It all clicked then. "So he wouldn't change her until your visions were clear that this was the right path."

"Exactly," Alice replied. "Which is why I had to be so careful around him. Edward would have tried to save her life, instead of giving her a new one."

"He can't change her," Jacob said quietly. His voice wasn't angry as he said this and I turned to look at him. "If he bites her, the werewolves will declare war. There's nothing I can do to stop them."

"You have to try," Alice implored. "He has no choice now. No one can save her, and she will be happy as a vampire. I've _seen_ it."

"It doesn't matter," Jacob replied shaking his head. "They won't care. We believe death is preferable."

"When will Edward be back?" Esme asked.

"Not for another hour," Alice replied, looking up as Carlisle walked in to the room. "And he will have to change her immediately, otherwise she won't survive."

"Then that gives us an hour to change their minds," Carlisle said gravely, looking at Jacob. "Will you help us?"

Jacob looked from Carlisle to Alice to me. "I'll do everything I can," he finally said quietly. "But I can't promise you anything."

"First," Esme said, taking a hold of my hands. "Bella and Jacob need to speak with each other. I'm sure they have much to discuss."

"Of course," Carlisle said. "We will leave you two alone. But then, Jacob, we are begging you to speak with your brothers. To ask them for this one chance."

Jacob hesitated then nodded and the remaining vampires filed out of the room.

"I don't understand," I said when the room had emptied and we were alone. "I thought werewolves imprinted on a girl the first time they saw her after they changed. You've seen me plenty of times since then so why did this happen now? I mean, what if we're wrong, what if you haven't imprinted?"

Jacob smiled and turned to face me on the couch, cupping my face in his hands. "The way I see it, no werewolf in his right mind could imprint on a girl who was in love with a vampire. That's why my feelings for you were so strong – why I felt so close to the edge when I was with you. My body was trying to imprint, but it couldn't until you were ready."

"Huh," I mumbled, trying to wrap my head around everything.

"Bella," Jacob's face was more serious now. "This is very important – my imprinting doesn't change a thing, ok? All it means is that I will be whatever you want me to be. Whether you want me to be your best friend, your lover, your…_brother_ even." He breathed in desperately. "I'm not taking away your free will, Bella, this doesn't change anything. Your future isn't decided; there are no definites here. All that's different is that you now know that if you want me to stay, I won't ever leave you."

His eyes bored into mine, trying to express the importance of this. He had seen the threat of free will being taken away, and he didn't want this for me.

"You're speaking like I have a choice, Jake," I said quietly, smiling down at my hands. "There was no choice here. I never _chose_ to fall in love with you, I just did."

He smiled and leaned closer, pressing his lips to my forehead whilst stroking my hair. "What do I do now, Bella?" he murmured. "They'll never listen to me. Our rules on biting humans are quite clear. There's no get out of jail free card for something like this."

"You have to try, Jake," I said quietly. "I suppose there's no way of keeping this quiet?"

Jacob shook his head. "Especially now I know all about it. I couldn't keep this from them." He sighed. "I'll try and use you as leverage. You're my imprint now, and by attacking the Cullens, that would hurt you."

"Be careful," I said quietly, knowing how pointless this request was. Careful wasn't really an option for anyone now.

"It might be best if you come with me to La Push," Jacob said. "I'm not sure you're going to want to be in the house when they bring Josie back."

ooo

I looked down at my watch. Half an hour had passed since arriving at Jacob's house. Half an hour since he'd run off to talk to the rest of the pack. I sighed and flicked through the TV channels, not taking any notice of the shows. I kept going through everything over and over again. What was happening with the wolves? Had Edward found Josie yet? Had he bitten her yet? What was going to happen once they'd broken the treaty?

I sighed and got to my feet, too restless to stay still. Jacob had made me promise not to leave the house so a walk down to First Beach was out of the question. Instead I padded down the dimly lit hallway until I came to Jacob's door and pushed it open. The familiar smell was comforting as I moved in to the room and looked around.

A history book was open on his small desk where he had clearly begun his homework. The posters on his walls were looking a little worse for wear, the corners curling in on themselves. A photo caught my eye then, wedged under the lamp on his bedside table. I wandered over and pulled it free, looking down at the smiling faces.

I looked about twelve in the picture, my hair cut short with severe bangs. Charlie had taken me to get the haircut and I remembered Renee had been appalled when I'd arrived home after the summer. I was grinning up at the camera, holding up a starfish proudly. Jacob stood next to me, pointing at the creature in my hand as one of his sisters held two fingers up behind his head. We were so young in this photo. Completely carefree and unaware of what our futures held.

Smiling, I put the photo back where I'd found it and sat down on his bed. His room was comforting even without him here. In the vastness of the events taking place I hadn't let myself think about Jacob imprinting but I let my thoughts drift to him now. Kicking off my shoes, I slid my legs up underneath his blankets and lay down, burying my face into his pillow.

Jacob had imprinted on me. So where to from here? Did I want Jacob?

Of course I did. But at the same time I felt like I was still discovering myself. Was I ready to be defined by a relationship all over again? Was I ready to become Jacob's imprint? Tied forever to Forks and La Push. Maybe it wouldn't have to be like that…

I closed my eyes tight, trying not to think about the future. I had to live for today, live for the present. And right now, yes, I wanted Jacob. I wanted him so badly I ached with the desire. My imagination flicked to his smile, his perfect features and his strong angled jaw. I could picture his lips, soft and full, grazing down my throat.

I pressed my face harder into the pillow and tried to clear my head of all thoughts and emotions. I realised then how tired I was. I'd only been awake for a few hours but the morning had been so packed with action I could easily fall asleep where I was. A stream of sunlight was filtering through the clouds onto my face, and I let it warm my skin, trying to block out the call of a bird in the forest. Slowly I drifted off to sleep, warm and safe in Jacob's bed.

Hours later I awoke to the sound of wolves howling in the distance. I jerked upright and gazed around the empty room, straining my ears to hear movement within the house. Nothing but silence met me, so I climbed hastily out of bed and walked through to the kitchen. The sun had moved in the sky now making the trees cast long shadows. It was late afternoon but still Jacob had not returned. I rubbed my eyes sleepily and switched on the kettle, not really thinking as I busied myself with making tea.

Had Edward turned Josie yet? Had Jacob been forced to attack? Not even permitted to return home and warn me? For a moment I had the urge to jump into my truck and drive back to the Cullens to find out what was happening but then I realised that I hadn't brought my truck back to Jacob's. Instead I took my mug of hot tea and sat on the porch steps, gazing into the forest, my jacket wrapped tightly around me in the cool evening air.

I tried not to let my mind wander as I watched and waited, and numerous times I thought I saw a large shape coming through the trees, only to realise it had been a trick of the light. I wondered how long Charlie would search for Josie. Into the night perhaps? And when would he give her up for dead?

The light was dimming fast now and I shivered in the cold glancing down at my feet and picking at a clump of mud on my old sneakers. Satisfied, I looked back up and started to see a large shape galloping through the trees towards me. The large wolf broke through the tree line as I stood and he transformed mid air, becoming human before my eyes. My jaw dropped open, never having seen Jacob phase to human before. I was amazed to see the fur, ears and tail retract back into his body, his skin becoming smooth and copper once again. I averted my eyes as he reached down to pull on his cut-offs, still jogging towards the house, and only looked back up once he had reached the stairs and pulled me into a tight hug.

"God I'm glad to see you," he muttered, holding me to him. I could feel his body shaking slightly and I drew back to see him properly. He looked exhausted.

"Come on, let's get you inside," I said pulling on his hand. He looked close to collapse and again I speculated what had happened all day. We sat down on his sofa and I turned to face him, trying hard not to bombard him with questions but give him time to recuperate. He would talk when he was ready.

"It's been a long day," he said finally, rubbing small circles on my knee with his thumb. "And I feel like I've achieved nothing."

Still I didn't question him. I knew Jacob well, and pushing him wouldn't help.

Jacob sighed and rubbed a hand over his weary face. "Sam won't make me fight them, because he knows I could never do anything to hurt you. But he has forbidden me to protect them." He laughed humourlessly. "How stupid is that? I would rather defend the bloodsuckers than attack them? I think it's your influence Bella, but they're not bad. They didn't choose their fate, just as I never chose to be a werewolf."

"So the pack is going to attack the Cullens?" I asked fearfully, not wanting to even think about this outcome.

Jacob didn't speak for a moment but looked up into my eyes, his own full of remorse. "In three days. When the girl is no longer human. When her heart stops beating."

He stood and raked a hand through his hair.

"This can't happen, Bella. I talked to the Cullens and the doctor won't fight them. They're talking through all the options now – they're considering leaving, but this is their home."

"So we have three days to find a solution to all this?" I asked, my mind whirling as I tried to process all this information. What was the solution? As far as I could tell there wasn't one. If the Cullens stayed in Forks, the pack would attack them. There was nothing else to it.

"Well, there is something I can do…but I really don't want to."

I looked up at Jacob, startled. He was pacing the living room floor now, his hands thrust deep into his pockets.

"I haven't told you this before, Bella, because I didn't think it was important…but now…" he trailed off, looking wildly around the room as though something in here would help him explain. Then a light seemed to brighten his eyes and he held his hand out to me. "I want to show you something."

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**Thanks for reading. Please leave a review - as you may have noticed, the more feedback I get, the more inspired I am to update! xx**


	12. Chapter 12

**AN: **Christmas present for you! As much as I love the holidays, and it's all warm and cosy, spending this much time with my family makes me want to eat my own head. Instead I retreated to the furthest corner of the house, away from mince pies, champagne and chocolate, and joined Bella and Jacob for a little while. Hope you enjoy this chapter!

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"Jake, what is this place?" I breathed gazing at the place Jacob had brought me to. In front of us stood a raised wooden building, clearly very old from the condition of the rotten wood. The house was long and narrow, with a slanting roof and an opening like a dark gash in the wall. Once there had been a short ladder leading up to this doorway but it had rotted away, leaving the building inaccessible. Part of the roof had caved in where a tree branch had fallen and a large bat flew out suddenly from the eaves.

"This was the Quileute tribal council longhouse," Jacob said, making his way over to the decrepit building and peering in through the doorway. "My grandfather left it to my dad when he died. It will be mine one day." He seemed to have found part of the ladder on the ground and propped it up. "It's a bit of a hole," he said matter-of-factly, turning back to me.

"I don't understand," I said, treading carefully through the muddy grass as I made my way around the house. "Why does it belong to Billy?"

"Because he, like myself, is a descendant of Ephram Black."

I looked at Jacob quizzically.

"Chief of the Quileute tribe."

"I still don't get it, Jake. I mean this is really cool and all, but what has this got to do with the Cullens?"

Jacob brushed some leaves off a fallen dead tree and sat, beckoning me to join him. I moved closer to his fevered body for warmth and he took my hand instantly, squeezing my fingers tightly in his own.

"Sam is the Alpha of the pack, but only because of chance. He is the oldest, and the first of us who phased. But by birthright, _I_ should be the Alpha. But when I phased for the first time, I didn't want to be a _werewolf_, let alone the leader of the pack, so I refused the job and let Sam keep that responsibility."

I exhaled deeply, taking in this information. "Wow, Chief Jacob," I mused. "So what does this mean? You can still take this role on now if you want to?"

"Yes," Jacob said quietly, "if I want to be Alpha, I can be."

"But you don't want to."

"No," he agreed. "I really don't. But if Sam doesn't change his mind, I don't know what other choice I have."

"And have you given him this ultimatum yet?"

Jacob shook his head. "I'm hoping he'll come to his senses over the next three days. Doctor Leech really wants to talk to him, to explain what's happening, so I'll try and convince Sam to at least hear them out."

We sat in silence for a long while, the air turning cold around us as night set in.

"I like the longhouse," I said smiling, nudging Jacob with my shoulder and smiling at him.

He laughed. "Yea, it could really do with some renovating." He yawned and stood up, pulling me with him. "Come on, we'd better be getting you home."

ooo

It felt strange walking into school on Monday morning. Student council fliers were posted up everywhere and there was a buzz of excitement in the air as the last week of school began. I couldn't quite get my head around the cheerful atmosphere while knowing that only a few miles away, a girl was enduring agonising torture as vampire venom began to flow through her veins, ending her human life forever. Simultaneously a pack of werewolves was preparing to fight to the death, and one of these werewolves, who had just imprinted on me no less, was planning a mutiny.

I wouldn't have been surprised if my head exploded, and that wasn't even mentioning Victoria, a vampire thirsty for my blood, who could be coming to kill me at a moment's notice.

The day passed slowly, and I found myself completely unable to concentrate on any classwork. It would have been bad enough without Mike recounting everything he'd ever known and currently knew about Josie and her disappearance. I couldn't wait for the final bell to ring.

Angela joined me as we headed out to the car park after school. The wind had turned cold and I flicked my hood up.

"Look who's here," Angela said quietly and I glanced over to where she was looking. Jacob stood astride his motorcycle, fiddling with the phone in his hand.

"I'll see you tomorrow?" I said, and Angela grinned back at me, raising her eyebrows knowingly.

"Bella!" Jake called, seeing me. I was happy to see his face light up into a smile, but I could still see the tension behind his eyes. "How was your day?" He pulled me into a tight embrace, kissing me lightly on the lips.

"Awful," I replied. "How was yours?"

He merely shrugged. "Better now. I really missed you today. This whole imprinting thing's turned me into a total pussy."

I punched his arm weakly and hitched my backpack higher onto my shoulder. "Follow me home?"

"Sure," he replied and leaned down to kiss me swiftly again before I turned and walked back to my truck. I caught sight of Angela dawdling by her car and she gave me a quick thumbs up before driving away. I laughed quietly to myself and hurried to get home before the rain got any heavier.

ooo

"So what happened today?" I asked when Jacob and I had settled into the kitchen and turned the kettle on. I busied myself with making tea as he stretched out his long legs and sighed.

"Well, the shit really hit the fan," he muttered. "I tried talking to Sam again, to convince him to discuss things with the Cullens but he wouldn't back down. I mean, I know that he thinks he's doing the right thing – honouring the treaty and all that – but honestly, he's being so fucking stubborn about everything."

I set down a mug in front of him and he muttered his thanks.

"Anyway, I gave him the ultimatum in the end. He really didn't like it and neither did the rest of the pack, but what other choice did I have?"

It was a rhetorical question but I shrugged anyway. There had been no alternative here.

"I gave Sam a day to think about it – either to back down and talk to the Cullens, or I'm taking over. I phased back pretty quickly after that, I didn't really want to know what the rest of the pack were thinking."

"What do you think he'll decide?" I asked, sipping my tea and scrutinising him under my lashes.

"Well he's being a closed-minded idiot now, but Sam trusts me, and in the end I think he'll see the best thing all round is to talk to them – come to some kind of agreement."

We sat in silence as I digested all of this. "And have you seen the Cullens?"

Jacob inclined his head and frowned. "Went round there today, but I didn't stay long. It wasn't the most pleasant atmosphere. But the doctor thinks that leaving town for a while afterwards may be their best option, especially if she's dangerous."

I rubbed a hand over my face and Jacob was beside me in an instant, gathering me in his arms and holding me close. "It's okay, Jacob," I told him. "I'm not worried about them leaving. It's different now."

"I wish we could just forget about everything, just for a little while. I want some time for us to just be us."

I smiled and stroked his cheek gently, gazing into his warm brown eyes. "Why don't we?" I said quietly. "Let's just forget that the outside world even exists for a few hours."

He smiled and leaned down to press his lips to my forehead. My breath hitched in my chest as I tilted my head so our lips were mere centimetres apart.

The doorbell rang.

Jacob cursed under his breath and released me from his strong embrace.

Perfect timing, I thought sarcastically as I walked towards the door. I hoped it was someone delivering pamphlets so I could get rid of them quickly. I wanted to return to Jacob's warm embrace, kiss him properly, feel his body under my hands. Grumpily, I pulled on the handle and opened the door to the last person I expected to see standing there.

"Edward," I gasped. He looked terrible, almost close to collapse, his face a mask of pain.

I felt Jacob behind me but he swallowed whatever nasty remark he had been about to cast upon seeing Edward's face. Stepping forwards I took a hold of his arm and led him gently inside.

"It's all my fault," he moaned collapsing onto the couch and staring wildly up at Jacob and me. "I had no choice, Bella, she would've died. I didn't know what else to do, I couldn't just let her die." He took a shaky breath.

"None of this is your fault, Edward," I said, sitting next to him. "If anything, you saved her from death. You're a hero."

"A _hero_?" he spat the word. "How can you even say that? She is going through _agony_ right now and for what? I took away her soul Bella."

I shook my head. "No, Edward. I never believed that and I still don't. You saw Alice's visions, you saw how happy she will be."

"Alice missed that vital point about the werewolves coming after my entire family," Edward spat back, his voice bitter. He had never spoken to me like that before and I raised my eyebrows, surprised. His shoulders crumpled. "This is all my fault," he whispered and looked up at Jacob who had yet to say anything. "I was the one who bit her. Not my family. I am the one they should destroy."

"No!" I yelled, turning to look at Jacob, who was scrutinizing Edward. "Don't be ridiculous, no one is going to get hurt here."

"Jacob," Edward said, his voice low and pleading. "I will give myself to your brothers gladly, if they will leave my family and Josie alone. Please."

For a moment Jacob looked like he was going to agree but he then caught my eye and instead folded me into his arms and stroked my hair soothingly. "No."

The vampire and werewolf glared at each other, before Edward, his face stony, stood. He seemed to have gained control of himself now and his voice was level when he spoke. "Well that decision really isn't up to you."

Then before my eyes he vanished, moving too fast for me to see. Jacob swore loudly and before I knew it he had run from the room. I hurried after them both to the open front door, but all that remained were scraps of Jacob's clothes and two ripped sneakers in the front yard.

My mind raced as I felt panic rise in my chest. If Edward ran onto the wolves' territory they would kill him, no questions asked. Which was precisely what Edward wanted. I shivered in the cool evening air and hurried to pick the remains of Jacob's clothes from the driveway. I gathered the scraps into my arms and returned to the house, wondering how much more worry I could take.

**Jacob's point of view…**

I swore mentally as my feet thudded on the hard ground. For the millionth time I wondered why the hell I was doing this – why not let him die? Then Bella's face would swim into my vision, tears in her eyes and I could not stand the grief etched into her face. No. I had no choice but to save the bloodsucker's worthless existence. Quil and Embry's voices were loud in my head, but I ordered them to stay put – keep watching over Bella's house just in case the redhead slipped through. My two friends obeyed, wary of the new power I carried in my commands. It scared me too, and I hated forcing my will onto my two best friends. At least they knew that.

I followed the fresh, burning scent. His head start had gained him a few precious minutes, but I could feel myself gaining on him. He may be fast, but I was determined. Leah, Seth and Sam's minds burst into my consciousness and I swore loudly. The last thing I needed was the whole pack around as this vampire stormed into our territory.

_Jacob, what's happening?_ Sam's voice sounded in my head.

I quickly relayed the images of the last ten minutes, and felt Sam's rippling displeasure and hatred.

_You continue to protect them, Jacob! After he admits to the horror he has committed._

_I'm protecting what's _right_!_ _Times have changed, Sam, the pack needs to change with them._

I was catching up to him, he wasn't far ahead now. We were almost at the border and I knew the rest of the pack were waiting for us there, I could feel the anticipation straining their muscles.

Then I saw him, sprinting ahead of me. I forced my legs to work harder, the muscles screaming in protest. I was only feet behind him now, so close, but then the other wolves came into sight, we were inches from the border.

_NO!_

The pack froze, mid-leap. Leah already had already knocked Edward to the ground and now cowered away under the order in my voice. The pack was struggling under the weight of my command, but I knew they could not disobey.

_The vampire's existence means so much to you, Jacob, that you would turn on your brothers? _Sam asked, his thoughts pained by my betrayal.

_I'm trying to do what's right here. Destroying him isn't the right choice. _I trotted over to where Leah cowered and replaced her paw on Edward's chest with my own. The vampire was laying stock still, his eyes closed, listening to our thoughts. _I will not let anyone suffer because of this. The girl that was bitten would have spent the rest of her life paralysed. The fortune-teller saw the future,_ I insisted. _She saw that the girl would be happy, that she wouldn't kill any humans. So who are we protecting exactly by wiping out a family of innocent vampires?_

_Innocent? _Paul snarled. _These are our mortal enemies, they kill humans and have no regrets._

_Not the Cullens,_ I insisted. Part of me couldn't believe I was arguing for them. But I knew it was right. _We will keep a close eye on them. We may as well disregard treaty boundaries. The treaty is insignificant now anyway. We will keep a close watch on their house, ensure that no humans are harmed, that the new vampire is kept away from people. And we must remember the redhead is still out there, trying to find a way in. _I felt resentment meet me from all sides. _I didn't want it to come to this,_ I thought bitterly. _You know I don't want this, Sam_. _Quil and Embry, keep watch over Bella's house._

_Aye aye, boss,_ came the smart reply. They were attempting to lighten the mood and I appreciated the gesture. _Leah and Seth, if you wouldn't mind, please will you escort Edward back to his house, and keep an eye on the vampires._

I refused to press my will on them. I would never do that again, I vowed. Seth trotted off happily, intrigued by the cold bloodsuckers, rather than repulsed. I couldn't share his curiosity.

"You don't have to do this, Jacob," Edward said quietly, speaking for the first time. "It was not my intention to create discord amongst you and your brothers. I am responsible for everything, and I will accept that responsibility."

I shook my head. _No. Just accept responsibility for the vampire you have created. Make sure she takes no lives, and we will spare yours._

I turned away from him as Leah nudged him with her paw, forcing him to his feet. They left the clearing, Leah grumbling angrily as she left.

_Jared and Paul, I need you to patrol and make sure the redhead leech hasn't slipped through our defences_. They left in silence, keeping their thoughts hidden for the moment.

I turned to Sam and hung my head, not quite meeting his eyes. _I never wanted this, Sam_.

The large wolf raised his shoulder bones in an imitation of a shrug. _You did what you thought was best for the pack. I cannot understand why you made this decision, but I will have to accept that it was your decision to make._

_Thank you,_ I replied. _I need to get back to Bella._

_And what would you like me to do?_ He asked, trying to keep his thoughts level.

I hesitated, thinking. _Talk to the tribe elders, please. Figure out how we can change this back_.

I felt surprise in him, but he turned and began running towards La Push. Bella filled my head then, and I turned and ran, wanting to be back with her as quickly as I could.

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**Thanks for reading! Please leave a review, after all, it is Christmas! xx**


	13. Chapter 13

**Sorry for the late update! Have been horribly sick this last week, so writing hasn't been a top priority. Anyway, hope you all enjoy this chapter. It is pure fluff, sorry about that. Got a bit fed up with plot at the moment but it will pick back up next chapter :) still, please enjoy the bellajacob fluffy goodness. xx

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He was snoring. Loudly. I smiled to myself and flicked through my emails, strangely comforted by the sleeping tractor on my bed. When Jacob had returned earlier in the evening and told me what had happened with the rest of the pack, I could see the grief in his warm brown eyes. He felt like a traitor.

Glancing at him now, he seemed peaceful, the worried wrinkles smoothed as he slept, his thick lashes fluttering occasionally, his full lips slightly open. Despite everything, I smiled, glad that he was here and safe. Quietly, I slipped off of my chair and crept over to the bed, trying to lay down next to Jacob without waking him. He snored again, and I stifled a laugh, turning on my side to face him, resting my head on his shoulder and gently placing my am around him. He was so warm and comfortable that I closed my eyes also, barely registering his arm sneaking up behind me and holding me tight.

"Bella," he whispered quietly and I cracked an eyelid to see him gazing down at me. "I'm going to have to ask Edward and his new vampire to leave town."

I nodded slowly, knowing that this was necessary. From what I'd heard, newborn vampires were bloodthirsty and unpredictable. Forks wouldn't be safe with one so close by. "It's ok, Jacob. Edward is my friend now, but I'll understand if he has to leave."

"He's not going to want to, though. Not with Victoria out there hunting you. And with those Volluri things coming after you in the near future."

I shivered. "Volturi," I corrected him. "And you shouldn't be so flippant, Jake, they're very scary."

He grinned then and rolled over, pinning me under him. "Scarier than me?" He bared his teeth.

I laughed. "A golden retriever puppy is scarier than you, Jacob."

"Oh you are going to wish you hadn't said that," he said quietly, a playful glint in his eyes. "Take it back."

I shook my head petulantly, still laughing. I was very aware of his body draped across mine, his weight held up on the palms of his hands.

"Take it back," he ordered yet again, a mischievous grin twitching his lips as he leant in closer.

"Or what?" I asked, biting my bottom lip gently as my eyes flickered over his face. We were mere centimetres apart and I could feel his warm breath on my cheek.

"Bell-a!" Charlie called from downstairs, and I heard the front door slam closed.

I sighed as the moment broke and Jacob rolled over to gaze up at the ceiling, his breathing ragged. I nudged him in the ribs and giggled. "See? Retriever puppy."

"When it comes to your dad, I'm like a Chihuahua puppy." He grinned at me though, and kissed my hand before I got up and made my way downstairs to welcome Charlie home.

"How was work?" I asked as I entered the kitchen. Charlie was hanging up his gun belt and looked tired. I pulled out a chair for him and opened the fridge to grab him a cold soda.

"We got the dogs out tracking the missing girl. They took us to the edge of the ravine, but we couldn't get any further. We'll search down there tomorrow, but at this point, we're not hoping for anything more than a body."

I nodded my head and turned my back on him, damning my easily readable face. However Charlie took this as a sign of grief and patted my back sympathetically.

"You sure cooked a lot," he said, peering into the pot of chilli simmering on the stove. "Jake over for dinner?"

I nodded, laughing at his accurate guess. "He's napping upstairs. Dinner will be another half an hour."

"Thanks, honey," he said, grabbing his soda from the table and making his way through to the awaiting tv. I mindlessly stirred the chilli as he left the room, deep in thought. How long would they search for Josie? And what about her friends? Would they just have to suffer, believing that she'd died here?

When Jacob rested his hand gently on my shoulder, I jumped, startled by his silent approach.

"I thought you'd be asleep again."

"No, too much going through my head." He glared at me as I opened my mouth to make a smart retort. "I'll have to go and see the Cullens tomorrow."

"I'll come with you."

"No," Jacob replied quickly. "It's too dangerous, and anyway, you have school."

"So do you." I retorted. "And it is not too dangerous." I lowered my voice. "She'll still have a full 24 hours left to…well, she still has another day at least."

"Bella," Jacob began, sounding frustrated and taking a step closer to me so my lower back was pressed into the counter. "Please. I'll tell you everything that happens, I promise." He raised his hand to run through my hair.

"No. I'm coming with you. I'm not going to let you wander into that house by yourself. You're too hot headed and you're bound to say something you'll regret."

He sighed and the corner of his mouth twitched. "You are so stubborn."

"You are so overprotective." I grinned and pulled his face to mine for a kiss, moving my lips slowly and deeply against his. We broke apart sooner than I would have liked, but I was all too aware of Charlie sitting in the next room.

Jacob's voice was low and hoarse when he spoke. "Do we have a bit of time before dinner?"

I turned and checked the pot. "Another twenty minutes. Why?" I felt his body press into mine from behind and he wrapped his long warm arms around me, kissing the top of my head. "Careful, Charlie could walk in!" I turned in his arms and gazed up into his face.

"Would that be so bad?" His eyes were kind but searching.

I shrugged. "I'm not sure, Jacob. I guess not, but I'm not even sure what we are." I sighed. This talk had been a long time coming. "I love you Jake, you know that. You're my best friend."

He grinned. "But when you see me, you don't want to rip all my clothes off."

I blushed furiously then, never having discussed anything like this with him before. Of course I found him beautiful, and yes I had definitely admired his body, but could I say all this to him? I was too embarrassed to speak.

He stepped closer into me, pushing me harder into the counter, his hips and stomach resting flush against me. If possible, I blushed harder, feeling a steady pulse begin to throb in my abdomen.

"I don't know what I want, Jacob," I whispered, unable to find my voice. I looked up into his laughing brown eyes and subconsciously cupped his cheek in my hand. "I feel like now that you've imprinted, there's all this pressure on me. Y'know, marriage, sex, babies –"

"In that order?" Jacob laughed, stepping a way from me and leaning against the table lazily.

I hit his arm, and refused to say another word on the subject.

It wasn't until later that evening, when I was already tucked up in bed, after Jacob had crawled back in through the window that I decided to bring the subject up with him again. I wasn't sure whether it was the cover of darkness which gave me the confidence, or having my face buried into his warm chest.

"Jacob," I began quietly.

"Yes?"

I hesitated, trying not to let my bashfulness get in the way. "Can I talk to you?"

"Yea, of course," he replied sleepily. I looked up but his eyes were still closed. He was completely at peace for the moment. I propped myself up on my elbow and ran my finger along his collarbone. He shivered.

"You know earlier in the kitchen, when you mentioned ripping all your clothes off…"

His eyes snapped open and he gazed at me through the darkness. "I was kidding, Bells, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."

"No, I know," I reassured him quickly. "It's just…well I haven't done anything like _that_ before. I'm not…experienced."

He slowly grinned and pulled me down into his arms. I pressed my ear to his chest, listening to his fast heartbeat.

"We'll learn about it all together, Bella," he whispered. "If that's what you want."

"Is it ok that I'm still not sure what I want?" I asked him honestly. "So much is happening, and there are so many decisions to make."

He pressed his lips into my hair and pulled me closer into him. "Sleep now, honey. You don't need to make your mind up about anything tonight. We'll just see where everything takes us, okay?"

I nodded into him and closed my eyes, letting my muscles relax and my breathing slow. I was so comfortable and warm, lying there in his arms and I couldn't think of a single place I'd rather be at that moment.

I woke before my alarm the next morning, my eyes slowly fluttering open, and allowed myself a moment of peace before having to face up to the numerous headaches that I knew would be awaiting me that day. I had turned during the night so Jacob was now curled behind me, one of his arms thrown lazily across my waist. I could feel every inch of his body pressed into my own, and he was still breathing evenly, clearly asleep and unaware of the state he was in. I blushed furiously, attempting to wiggle away slightly but his heavy arm was pinning me down.

"Jacob," I murmured, turning slightly and keeping my voice low, aware that Charlie may not have left the house yet. "Jacob wake up."

He stirred and opened an eye, registering the embarrassment on my face. He made a questioning noise that sounded something like "Ung?" and I blushed harder as I spluttered out the predicament I was in.

"It's…I mean…_you're_…sort of sticking into me a little bit."

Unabashed, he chuckled drowsily and shifted his hips backwards. "Sorry, involuntary guy thing." Then to all intents and purposes he seemed to fall promptly back to sleep.

I heard the sound of car start in the driveway and knew that Charlie must be leaving for the station. I was glad he gave me privacy in the mornings as I wasn't sure what his reaction would be if he opened my door to find Jacob asleep in my bed. It would probably involve his gun.

An uncomfortable pressure was forming in my bladder and I sighed, not wanting to leave the warmth of my bed or Jacob. He moved behind me, burying his face into my neck and snoring quietly, his warm breath tickling my ear. I tried to shift myself out of his grasp without waking him, but this caused him to pull me closer, his arm tightening around my waist and pressing uncomfortably on my abdomen.

"Jacob," I whispered, turning my face towards him. "Are you awake?"

There was a long pause before he finally muttered, "No."

"Well tough, I need the bathroom. Let me up."

Another sleepy and incoherent noise was his only response, but finally he did roll over and I sat up. Gazing down at his peaceful face. The intimacy of this morning amazed me, but in a wonderful kind of way.

"What's the time?" he murmured, rubbing a hand over his eyes.

"It's still really early. Go back to sleep."

He ignored me and stretched into a sitting position. "God, I haven't slept that well in years." He smiled and reached over, wiping sleep from my eyes. "Do you need to get ready for school?"

I glared at him. "No. I'm not going. I'm coming with you to the Cullens, as you well know."

He frowned back at me, clearly displeased with this response. "And is there anything I can do to make you change your mind?"

I shook my head stubbornly.

"Fine." He lay back down and rolled over. "Hurry up and come back to bed. I've still got another couple hours sleep in me."

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**Please leave a review, I've heard they are the best medicine :) xx**


	14. Chapter 14

**AN: **Hello my lovelies, thank you for all my lovely reviews, was so excited when I saw that I hit 100. Decided to reward you with an extra long chapter! Hope you're all still enjoying this story, please give me feedback of any kind, want to know what you're all feeling, and where you'd like to see this story go. Thanks for reading! Enjoy xx

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Around mid-morning Jacob and I were driving down the wet winding road to the Cullen's house, listening to the radio over the roar of the engine. Every so often I'd take my eyes briefly off of the road to look at Jacob beside me and smile at him, trying to conceal the nervous squirming of my stomach. I didn't fool him, and he reached over to squeeze my leg in reassurance.

"We'll be quick, Bells. And you don't even have to get out of the car if you don't want to."

I snorted. "I'm not letting you go in there without me. Who knows what you'll say to them."

"Give me a bit of credit, will you?" he said then, irritation lacing his usually calm voice. "I've given up an awful lot to protect these leeches and I'm not about to throw all of that away, okay?"

I gritted my teeth and didn't reply, feeling ashamed and hurt at his harsh words. Maybe I was being too hard on him after all.

He reached over and rested his hand softly on my knee. "Sorry," he said quietly. "I didn't mean to snap at you. I'm just nervous about the whole situation. It doesn't help knowing that I won't be getting any support from my brothers in this. It's not like I'm asking their whole coven to leave town as the pack expects me to."

"Have you heard from Seth and Leah?" I asked, knowing they were stationed at the Cullen's house, ready to alert Jacob if anything changed.

"They say it's pretty unpleasant there. A lot of screaming and moaning, but besides that nothing new is happening. The Cullens are all anxious and discussing what to do. They don't want to leave Forks in fear that leaving you will give Victoria an opening. Especially if she has anything to do with these killings up in Seattle. They're worried she's gaining support up there."

"What, like gathering an army?" I asked, my blood turning cold. I tried to focus on the road ahead.

"Or creating one," Jacob replied, his voice stony. "Either way, they don't want to leave you here."

I indicated as the near invisible driveway approached and we drove the rest of the way in silence, both engrossed in our own thoughts.

With a crunching of gravel, I stopped the truck and cut the engine outside the large white house. Alice was sitting on the front steps, her head buried in her hands, looking forlorn. A large wolf I recognised as Seth lay calmly at her feet, his tail occasionally twitching away a fly. His ears pricked as we arrived at the house and opened the truck doors and he raised his large shaggy head, a wolfy grin present on his face.

"Hey, Seth," Jacob called, slamming the door closed and thrusting his hands into his pockets as he walked towards the unlikely pair. "Alice." He nodded his head formally at her.

"Hi, Jacob," she said quietly. "Bella, you shouldn't be here," she said, her eyes flashing towards me. "I hate not being able to see what's coming. It's most inconvenient. Why did you bring her, Jacob?"

He grinned. "I have no control over this one." He reached out and took my hand in his own, squeezing gently. "I need to talk to Edward, is he around?"

"He's coming," she replied. "He's with Josie right now. Everyone else is out hunting, they're trying to bring back some blood for when she wakes."

I moved to sit down next to Alice, patting Seth's large head as I went. "You don't look happy," I said quietly, putting an arm around my friend's shoulder.

"I have a headache. These werewolves are blocking my visions, especially when it comes to Josie. I have no idea how long we must wait."

"It usually takes three days, right?"

"As far as we know." Anything else she may have been about to say was cut off as Edward stepped out the front entrance, quickly closing the door behind him. He wasn't fast enough though, and I could hear the groans of agony echoing through the house behind him. He looked a mess, and I stood, going to him quickly, catching his hands in my own.

"What's happening?" I asked him quietly, feeling the eyes of the other three boring into my back.

"She's in a lot of pain, which was expected. I'm trying to explain everything to her, but I'm not sure if she can even hear me." He sighed and ran a hand though his hair. "I understand why you came, Jacob. I cannot move her at the moment; she is in too much pain. But as soon as she transforms, I promise I will take her out of town." His face twisted in pain as he looked back to me. "I am so sorry, Bella. I should be here protecting you."

"You're being silly," I informed him flatly. "I have an entire pack of werewolves here protecting me, plus all of your family. There's no way Victoria's slipping through. You need to look after Josie now."

He smiled then, some relief showing on his face. "You've always been too good to me."

Jacob cleared his throat behind me and I turned to see him scowling at the bottom of the stairs, his hands still thrust in his pockets, Seth standing tall beside him, wagging his tail happily. I wondered if anything could cloud that boy's sunny disposition. He reminded me of a younger Jacob.

"We ask you not to return to Forks or any of the surrounding areas with Josie until you can be completely sure of her control. You will be held accountable for her actions as a vampire and we will not permit any mistakes occurring on her behalf."

Edward nodded. "I will make sure that she and everyone around her is safe, Jacob. You have my word."

Jacob inclined his head. "Good. The treaty still remains in place, with the new negotiated boundaries. Your family will remain here in Forks?"

Edward nodded. "They are still waiting to see what Victoria is planning. They may take a trip to Seattle soon though, if the situation does not improve."

Jacob nodded once. "We would appreciate it if your family could keep us informed of their plans."

I smiled to myself then, noticing Jacob's use of the word 'we'. He truly had become the Alpha of the pack, taking responsibility and making decisions for the whole. I had never seen him like this before and I felt myself shiver at the strong look in his dark eyes. He seemed to age before me, the goofy boy from this morning all but vanished. There was clearly a side to Jacob Black that I wasn't familiar with. I looked forward to getting to know this part of him, though.

Suddenly Alice stiffened and was on her feet in a flash.

"Edward," she breathed, but he too had gone rigid. In an instant they had both vanished and I glanced down at Jacob, who had paled under his copper skin. What on earth was happening? Had Alice had a vision? But she couldn't have, not if Jacob knew what was going on as well.

And then I realised.

The house was unnaturally silent. No groans of pain or screams came from inside.

Barely a second passed as I tried to comprehend what this all meant. Surely the transformation couldn't be complete? If Josie's heart had stopped beating then mere meters away from us was now a newborn vampire, thirsty for blood, wild and vicious, and most likely uncontrollable.

Blood rushed to my head as my ears rang loudly. I was panicking, my vision turning blurry. I barely noticed Jacob's snarl as he leapt, transforming into the large russet wolf, his clothes shredding around him. He raced up the steps, grabbing my shirt in his teeth and dragging me backwards. Seth was in front of me, backing away and then a smaller, grey wolf was there as well, her lean body trembling.

I reached backwards, grabbing onto the fur of Jacob as he loosened his hold on my shirt. Uncaring as the garment ripped, I pulled myself around, throwing a leg over his neck as he knelt, anticipating my move. I hoisted myself up onto his back and lay low along his neck, peering up at the open front doors over the top of his head.

"What's going on?" I whispered, gazing up at the house. Jacob just shook his large wolf head, clearly unsure of what to do from here. I needed to hear him speak, understand what was happening.

We must have stood like that for at least five minutes, although it felt longer when the door opened again and Alice stepped out, snapping her cell phone shut and looking worried. She glanced down at us.

"It's finished," she said quietly, "the transformation's complete."

"And?" I asked impatiently, wanting to know what was happening inside.

"She's confused, Edward's talking to her. But…to be honest she's taking it all very well. She should be consumed with thirst right now, but she's not. She's been asking about her friends. It's like none of this is really happening."

"What does that mean?" I asked, wanting answers now.

"I don't know, Bella. I just wish I could _see_. But Edward can see inside her head and it's like she's taken her love of humanity and her trust in people with her into this new life. Almost as though her gift is to love humans."

I swallowed as I felt Jacob growl beneath me. He didn't like the sound of this. "I don't know, Alice."

"I've called the others and they're coming back now, but Bella, you should all go. She's already caught your scent. Which is the strange thing, any newborn vampire who smells a human shouldn't be able to resist. She should have tried to attack you instantly; none of this makes sense. And she's completely calm up there, as though none of this is out of the ordinary."

I felt Jacob shift underneath me as he lowered his head to the ground. I hopped off, knowing he wanted to transform and talk to Alice himself. His clothes were in shreds on the ground so I quickly shrugged off my jacket and pressed it into his mouth before he disappeared beyond the forest line and changed back into human form.

Seth and Leah stepped closer once he'd gone, their bodies crouched protectively either side of me. Within seconds, Jacob was back by my side, my jacket wrapped partially around his waist. I averted my eyes.

"What's going to happen now, Alice? How are you going to get her out of town?"

"The plan was to head up to Alaska with her. But can I ask you a favour? I'll understand if you say no. I _need_ to be able to see, and I can't do that with you wolves hanging around. I need an hour, just one hour to be able to see the future, find out what's happening. I'll call you as soon as I see anything, but please, just take Bella home and wait."

I could tell Jacob didn't like the sound of this. "The rest of the pack won't be far off, leech. We'll all be around Forks. You'd better make sure she doesn't get anywhere near the town or we will kill her, and anyone who gets in our way."

Alice nodded. "Understood."

Jacob reached down and grabbed Seth's shorts from where they were tied around his leg. "I'll drive you back, Bella, I don't want to leave you unprotected for even a second. Seth and Leah watch the area around Forks, alert the others to do the same, but no one is to get near the Cullen's boundary, understood?"

The two smaller wolves nodded and began to back away as Jacob pulled on the younger boy's shorts.

"You have an hour, Alice. If she's not out of town by then, we'll have no choice but to drive you out."

Alice nodded again then flitted back inside.

Jacob grabbed my hand and we made our way back to the truck. I let him drive, too shaky to be able to handle that task myself. I didn't understand what was happening. From all the stories I'd heard about newborn vampires, they were supposed to be uncontrollable. And according to Alice, Josie had smelt my blood but hadn't come after me. So what did this mean? Was her vampire talent the ability to resist human blood? Or was Alice right and her love of humans had been extended once she'd become immortal? It was all too confusing and I wanted answers now.

"Are you okay?" Jacob asked softly, taking his eyes off the road and gazing at me with large concerned eyes. "I know you don't want them to leave like this, but I can't think what else to do. I just can't have a newborn vampire this close to Forks, this close to humans. If anything were to go wrong…" he tapered off and I saw the worry in his eyes.

"It's ok, Jake, I get it."

"Want to go to school?" he asked with a grin as we drove past Forks High School, and I shot him a glare.

"Definitely not. I think if anyone deserves a sick day, it's us."

We pulled into my driveway and Jacob cut the engine.

"Hang on a sec," he said as I reached for the handle. "Let me just make sure no one's around."

He hopped out and seemed to breathe in the air deeply, as though trying to pick up the scent of vampire. Then he shook his head and walked around to open my door.

"All clear."

"So what do we do now?" I asked as we stepped inside and I closed the door behind us. "An hour to kill and I feel too anxious to sit still."

"I know what you mean," Jacob replied. "Can you give me a moment? I need to check and see what everyone's up to. Sorry, love." He pulled me into a tight hug and kissed my forehead. "I'll be back in a minute, ok?"

I nodded, trying not to be a baby. I didn't want to be left alone, but turned and headed into the kitchen. A hot drink would do me a lot of good right now.

I was just adding milk to the two cups of hot tea when Jacob walked back into the kitchen, tugging on Seth's too-tight shorts. I giggled when I saw him, not having noticed the tight fit before and he grinned back. "I need to stop phasing in my clothes. It's getting expensive."

"Yes but you look so cute in those," I said, collapsing into giggles again. I didn't know what was wrong with me – in the current situation I should have been crying not laughing. Maybe I was hysterical. My laughter must have been infectious because then Jacob was laughing too. Tears streamed from my eyes as I tried to catch my breath, and Jacob clung onto the chair back for support.

Finally we seemed to calm down and I was left wiping tears from the corner of my eyes and panting. I looked up to see Jacob watching me, a smile still in place on his face. "You've changed so much, Bella," he said softly, taking a step closer and cupping my face in his hand.

"Is that bad?" I asked, instantly worried. Maybe he thought I wasn't taking the situation seriously.

He shook his head, a fire blazing in his eyes, and took another step closer. My chest seemed to explode with emotion then, and I couldn't help but throw my arms around his neck as he pulled me into him, our mouths meeting desperately.

And then we were kissing like we never had before, his hands roaming up from my waist, digging in to the soft skin of my back, pulling on my already ripped shirt. One of my hands had tangled into Jacob's hair while the other massaged the back of his neck. His hands dipped lower, pressing the small of my back into him, but still it didn't feel close enough. Jacob took a step backwards and stumbled on the kitchen chair, losing his balance and pulling me with him as he fell to the floor. I landed on him with a thud and he groaned a little as the air was knocked from him.

"Graceful, Jake," I snorted, laughing again, as I tried to lift myself off of him.

"Totally meant to do that," he grinned up at me, gripping me tightly as I attempted to wriggle away. I was suddenly very aware of myself lying on top of him that moment, my arms holding me up so I could gaze down at his face. His eyes were soft as he looked up at me, and a smile played on his full lips.

Jacob's hands were resting on my waist and his thumbs rubbed small circles on the small of my back. I sighed, and lay down, my head tucked firmly underneath Jacob's chin. He too brought his arms around my back, and held me tightly, his warm breath playing on the top of my head.

"Good thing you didn't break the chair," I murmured, tracing the muscle in Jacob's arm and listening to the fast sound of his heartbeat. I realised then that I was staring straight at his nipple and grinned, gently blowing air over it. He shivered beneath me.

"Careful, Bella," he said, his voice unusually low. "I'm not sure I'm going to be able to control myself."

"Do you have to?" I asked quietly, refusing to lift my head and look at him.

And then the doorbell rang.

Cursing I pulled myself up and stood, brushing down my clothes and adjusting my ripped shirt. Jacob had clenched his teeth a look of deepest annoyance on his face as he too sat up.

"Truancy officer?" Jacob muttered pulling himself to his feet with a groan and setting the chair back on its legs. "I'm starting to hate that doorbell."

I ignored his comments as the feeling of anxiety swelled in my chest. Who would be coming to bring news so quickly? Had something happened? Had Josie and Edward already left town?

"Vampire," Jacob muttered then, his nose twitching almost comically. He grabbed my hand and led me through the hallway to the front door, placing himself firmly in front of me before opening the door.

"Carlisle!" I was surprised to see the doctor standing there on my front porch. "And Esme! What are you…please, come in."

They both smiled and nodded their greeting before stepping through the door.

"I was just making tea, would you like…" My voice trailed off and I blushed.

"Thank you, Bella, but no. We won't stay long, Alice's visions are coming thick and fast at the moment – she's quite uncomfortable."

"What's happened?" I asked, leading them from the hallway into the living room, where they sat on the sofa. It seemed strange, these two beautiful beings perched primly in my daggy old lounge room. They didn't quite fit in with the surroundings.

"It's quite confusing, Bella," Esme said softly, taking my hand as I sat in the armchair, Jacob standing tall behind me, his arms crossed. He had yet to utter a word, and I knew he was suspicious.

"Edward can see into Josie's mind," Carlisle said softly. "We brought her back some animal blood, which she has drank and it seems to have quenched her thirst for now."

Jacob made a noise of disgust from behind me, but my two guests were not offended.

"She caught your scent at the house, Bella," Carlisle continued. "She shouldn't have been able to resist any human, let alone _your_ scent, but she did, easily. She was more interested in seeing you and reassuring you that she was ok."

"She's very easy to trust," Esme said quietly. "She must have brought that skill with her to this new life, but she's not manipulative. Edward who can see every thought in her head knows that."

"He could be covering for her," Jacob said darkly. "How do you know he's not protecting her?"

Carlisle shook his head. "He would never risk Bella's life like that. No. Josie has no desire to harm Bella, or any other humans for that matter. Her love of humans and her trusting nature have become Gifts in this new life."

Jacob snorted. "_Life_?" He said snidely. "You really believe this is _life_?"

"Jacob please," I said, turning to him. His face softened as he caught my eyes and he looked down, mumbling an apology. I smiled then – being an imprint obviously had its advantages; Jacob never would have listened to me before.

"Her ability to get everyone to trust her could be a dangerous skill, if it wasn't coupled with her love of people. And she is powerful, very powerful already. If Victoria is creating an army as we are beginning to suspect, then Josie could be an extremely useful asset."

"How do you know that she's not dangerous?" Jacob asked. "If she has the ability to get everyone to trust her, how do you know that she's not conning you?"

"Fair question," Carlisle replied. "But Edward can see into her thoughts."

"So what now?" Jacob asked. "Even if she is a _safe_ vampire, how am I supposed to justify letting her remain in town? My job and the job of my pack is to protect the people of Forks. I cannot reasonably allow a newborn vampire to stay here because other vamps say she's safe."

"I know this is a tough predicament for you, Jacob," Esme said quietly. "And Edward has agreed to take her out of town for a few days. But Alice is beginning to have flashes of Victoria's decisions. She is worried that Victoria is planning an attack soon, although she still cannot see anything clearly."

"And if Victoria attacks, then Josie could be very useful. Not only does she have remarkable Gifts, but newborn vampires are strong."

I tuned out their conversation then. It didn't seem to be getting anywhere. No one could be sure that Josie wouldn't attack a human, and because they weren't willing to put this theory to the test, then they'd never know.

I cleared my throat. "I want to see her."

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**Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoyed. Please leave a review and let me know your thoughts! Feedback is always hugely appreciated xx**


	15. Chapter 15

**AN:** Thanks so much to everyone for reading! _TeamJacobInigo,_ _CitrusGreenTea, Violet Quinn Black, PlaidIsRad98, Wolfgirl in the End, MistC_, your reviews all mean so much to me and I love hearing your feedback. Hope you enjoy this chapter, I've got the next few ready and waiting for me to edit them so will be updating soon!

Disclaimer: haven't done it in a while, so here you go. Characters aren't mine, just playing with them for awhile. Promise to put them all back unharmed when I'm done.

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"No. No way, I'm not letting you anyway near her." Jacob's face was set in a stony mask as he looked down at me, his arms crossed over his chest.

"I'm not asking your permission, Jacob," I replied, keeping my voice calm. "I'll have all of the Cullens, plus you, Seth and Leah there to protect me from her, so what's the worst that could happen?"

"The worst that could happen?" Jacob repeated, pressing a finger to the bridge of his nose and closing his eyes. "She could bite you for a start. No, Bella. I'm not going to let you put yourself into that kind of danger."

"Well luckily for me, I don't need your approval." I'd risen to my feet and stood squarely in front of him, glaring up at his furious features. "You can stay here if you want."

"Bella," his voice was pleading now. "Can you stop being so stubborn for just one moment and think about this? She's a vampire, a _newborn_ vampire, thirsty for blood."

"You heard Carlisle and Esme, she's not thirsty for human blood. And if she can help us then there's no reason that she and Edward need to go away."

If possible, his face turned even darker and when he spoke his voice was quiet. "Is _that_ what this is really about? You don't want _Edward_ to leave?"

I drew in a deep breath, trying to control the anger that flared inside of me and turned to Carlisle and Esme who were politely looking elsewhere. "I'm sorry, could you excuse us for a moment, please?"

They rose and Esme took my hand in hers. "We will return to the others now. This is your decision to make, Bella."

I nodded and smiled as they left the room then turned to Jacob who was looking a little wary. I drew myself up to my full height and glared at him. "Jacob Black," I began, my voice a deadly whisper but before I even got a chance to begin the tirade I had planned for him he grabbed me by the arms, his eyes wide.

"I'm sorry. Really. It was a totally stupid thing to say and I'm a complete jerk. I'm just…scared and stupid…"

"Stupid," I repeated.

"Very stupid."

"Moronic."

"Yea, that too." He bit his lip and squeezed my arms gently. "Sorry," he whispered.

I couldn't help the smile that spread onto my lips and I rolled my eyes. "Geez, Jake, you are so infuriating sometimes. You should know by now that Edward is no competition, ok? I'm hopelessly in love with you, though for the moment I can't think why."

His face broke into a grin then and he picked me up off the ground. I let my arms fall around his neck and met his lips with enthusiasm, enjoying the feel of his strong arms wrapped around my body.

Finally he placed me back on my feet, and I felt a little dizzy, although I hadn't forgotten my determination. He wasn't going to distract me that easily.

"I'm going to go and see Josie," I told him quietly, linking my fingers with his and meeting his eyes. "This is something I need to do. Please."

"Fine," he said. "I don't like it, but ok."

I grinned and rose on my toes to kiss him gently again. "Thank you. This means a lot to me."

"Yea?" He caught my lips gently between his own.

"Mmhmm." I felt brave as I ran a hand up his bare chest. "Maybe later I can show you how much."

He shivered. "Well we've still got half an hour til the fortune-teller wants us back at the house."

All bravery left me then. I gulped.

Jacob grinned at me. "All talk?"

"No," I replied stubbornly, feeling the blush creep into my face. "It's just that I didn't…I mean, I don't…well I…"

He laughed and kissed me, cutting off my stumbling attempt at a sentence. "Chill, Bella. I'm only teasing you. And as gorgeous as you look right now, and as much as I want to rip the rest of that shirt right off of you, I'm starving."

I laughed at that, feeling myself relax again. How could I ever possibly stay awkward around Jacob? I busied myself making sandwiches for both of us and found myself smiling as I worked. Everything should be so tense, with the current situation and yet I was happy. I was so happy; it just didn't seem right or fair.

How was it that Jacob just made everything better? Surely I should be able to do that for myself. I should be able to be happy without depending on another person. Right? Unless… I'd spent so long now thinking that I couldn't lean on others. Because I'd leant on Edward, completely and totally, and I'd fallen. I'd fallen and I didn't think I'd ever stop falling.

But did it matter if someone helped me up? Did it matter that I leant on Jacob? I didn't rely on him entirely as I had done with Edward. No. The situations were very different. Edward was always the dominant one in our relationship. But Jacob and I were equals.

Just the fact that he respected my decision to see Josie was proof. Sure he may be concerned for me, as any sane person would be in this situation. Even _I_ was anxious.

I gazed at him, buttering slices of bread, and let myself really see him then. He was so tall and wide, his broad shoulders rippling as he moved his arms, every sinew set and ready to go. His chest was rising and falling with his deep breaths, smooth of hair, narrowing down to his slim waist and hips. His belly button was long and narrow, a deep slit decorated by a sparse trail of hair leading to Seth's too-small shorts, clinging tightly to his well-formed –

"You're drooling," he said dryly, an eyebrow raised as I gazed at him longingly from the other side of the kitchen. I waited for the heat to flood my face, as I knew it would, but surprisingly the burn didn't come. I just smiled and set my eyes back to the block of cheese I was supposed to be cutting.

How was it that I, average in every possible way ended up with these beautiful males? I had stumpy legs, hips that were too wide and a chest that was too small. I would never be beautiful, merely ordinary in every conceivable fashion.

"What?" Jacob demanded, still watching me.

"What?" I replied, brushing my hands and putting the sandwiches together.

"You've got that little wrinkle between your eyebrows you always get when you're upset about something."

"There's plenty to be upset about at the moment," I replied, grabbing some plates from the cupboard and setting our meal down on the table.

"It'll get better," he said quietly. "Seriously, Bells, everything will be ok. We'll go see the Cullens, talk to my pack. We'll work all this out, alright?"

I nodded, smiling at his earnest face, full of concern for my welfare.

ooo

I cautiously stepped out of the truck, the Cullens' large house looming silently above us. The air had turned chilly and my mind flitted aimlessly to my friends at school, enjoying the last week of classes, nothing more serious than graduation on their minds. I swallowed and closed my door, thrusting my hands deep into my jacket pockets as Jacob and I walked quickly up the front steps. Seth and Leah appeared at our sides then, both of them walking in human form. Seth looked relaxed as usual but Leah was tense, an ugly frown set on her face. Alice opened the door as we approached, and I was surprised to see her beaming at me.

"Come on in, Bella." She looked at the wolves. "And you're all welcome too as long as you behave yourself."

I heard Jacob growl beside me and I rested my hand on his arm, calming him.

"Nice house," Seth exclaimed as we walked inside. Leah clicked her tongue disapprovingly but said nothing.

"She's in the living room, along with everyone else." Alice led us through to the large, bright room and I smiled to see the whole family seated there, waiting. My eyes found Edward quickly. He looked worried and on edge, and stood when I arrived, tensing himself and glancing at the girl beside him.

I drew in a shaky breath.

Josie sat on the sofa, her hands clasped tightly in her lap. She was looking at her knees, her short brown hair swinging in front of her face. She was wearing a simple pair of jeans and a t-shirt, but she looked different somehow; sitting too still to be natural.

"It's ok," Edward whispered then and I wasn't sure who he was talking to. I felt myself relax a little then and looked around to smile at Jasper. He winked at me from his perch on the couch beside Emmett. I was grateful for his Gift at moments like this.

Slowly, Josie lifted her face and looked up at me. I couldn't help the small gasp of air I drew in, and I could feel Jacob stiffen beside me.

She was of course extraordinarily beautiful; her fine features looked almost porcelain along with her perfect ski-jump nose and full red lips. Her eyes however were what had made me start. Framed by long lashes, they were a bright, vivid red - brighter than I had ever seen on a vampire before.

"Wow," she whispered, crinkling her nose. delicately Her voice sounded more musical than I remembered. "That smell really does hurt."

"Sorry," I whispered back, not sure whether she was referring to the werewolves or me.

She shook her head then, faster than a human normally would. "Please don't be. If it weren't for you and the Cullens I would be dead right now."

I took a step closer to her. "I don't mean to be rude, but you don't want to kill me?"

She let out a small laugh. "I don't want to kill you, Bella. I mean, don't get me wrong, you smell fantastic, but I really don't want to kill you."

And I believed her. A feeling of total trust washed over me, and I had the feeling I would believe anything she said. I found myself nodding, my eyes not leaving hers.

"Damn," she muttered, looking irritated with herself. "I'm doing it again, aren't I?"

I managed to tear my eyes away from her and looked at my three companions. I had to choke back a laugh. All three of them, Jacob included, were wide-eyed, nodding their agreement also.

"You really do have a Gift, Josie," I said, astonished at her power. "Can you convince people of anything?"

"I don't mean to," she said quickly. "It's not like I'm trying to manipulate people. It just seems like people agree with me an awful lot."

Edward smiled at this. "Everyone finds her very trustworthy."

"And what if that's all an act?" Leah snapped then, and I turned to her. She looked angry.

Josie got to her feet. She looked surprised at the ease with which she rose and I assumed she was still marvelling at her own speed and strength. "Leah, is it?" she asked softly, taking a step towards us. Everyone in the room tensed.

"Stay back, leech," Leah replied.

"Leah, that's enough," Jacob said warningly and I squeezed his hand, grateful for his support.

"No she has a right to be upset." Josie said, not coming any closer but gazing at the female werewolf. "I don't want to hurt anyone. Everyone keeps saying that's a Gift, but for me it's just common sense. Why would I suddenly want to start hurting people? I'm not saying you should trust me, and I'm not going to try and convince you." She raised her arms up and gazed down at herself, as though she was inspecting her skin. "I'm a vampire now. Just a few days ago, both of my arms were broken, along with my neck. I was breathing my own blood, dying a very slow and painful death, slipping in and out of consciousness. I wasn't ready to die. There's still so much that I want to see and experience." She hesitated, taking in a breath. "Of course I'll leave town if that's what you want me to do, but if I can help keep this vampire away from Bella, I will."

She turned to look at me then, her red eyes full of concern. "When I met you in Newton's store the other day, I had no idea what kind of trouble you were in, Bella."

I took a step towards her, letting go of Jacob's hand.

"It's ok," Edward whispered, nodding earnestly.

I reached out then, and grasped her hand in my own. Her skin was icy cold.

"Woah," she breathed looking taken aback. "Your hands are really hot."

I laughed. "And you're icy cold."

"This is all so weird," she murmured shaking her head in disbelief.

"I'm so glad you're not dead." Very carefully, I leant in. A set of hands grabbed me from behind, clasping me in to an overly-warm chest, pulling me away from Josie.

"Do you have a death wish?" Jacob demanded. "Geez, Bella, you don't just _hug_ a newborn vampire."

"Let go of me, Jacob," I demanded, struggling against his arms. "She's not going to hurt me."

"I'm really not," Josie said, her eyes wide. I smiled, knowing she wasn't holding back on her Gift now. She wanted Jacob to trust her and his arms loosened.

Carlisle cleared his throat and stood. "It may be best to keep a little distance anyway, Bella. It is her first day as a vampire after all."

Figuring this was probably sensible I nodded my agreement and looked to him now for answers. "So what do we do now?"

"Well Josie will have to lay low for awhile if she's to stay in town. She looks too much like her old self to be wandering around the streets of Forks."

"That's true," Edward murmured, walking to the window and looking out. "What do we do about everyone still searching for her?"

"We could leave a false trail, make it look like animals have dragged her off." Rosalie suggested. I shuddered.

"I don't want all my friends thinking that I'm dead," Josie said quietly, looking so dejected that I wanted to throw my arms around her again. Fortunately I restrained myself. "They'll be so sad."

"Well maybe we can work out some kind of plan. I mean, after all you do have the power to convince people of things. Charlie hasn't given up the search yet and it wouldn't be too difficult to convince him you've been down there the whole time if you turn on your charm a bit."

Her big red eyes looked worried. "I hate being deceitful," she said softly and my heart poured out to her. She so badly didn't want to hurt or inconvenience anyone. Her heart was so pure, and for a moment I swelled with happiness, so glad that Edward now had her in his life. She would be perfect for him, firm and stubborn enough to keep him in line, while being good enough to complement him entirely.

"We can do this," I reassured her, a plan beginning to take form in my head. "With Carlisle at the hospital, and your amazing way with people, we can do this. But we'll have to be quick. Today, if possible." I turned to glance at Jacob. "Will the werewolves help?" I asked him. "If one of you could lead Charlie to her, make it seem natural."

He slowly grinned at me. "Ok, I'll do it. But how believable is it going to be if after 5 days of being lost in the wood she still looks," he waved his hand at her "like _that_."

I shot him a glare and he had the decency to blush.

"You know what I mean, she doesn't exactly look half starved and broken. And besides, the red eyes may be a give away."

"I think I can help with that," Rosalie said quietly, gazing at the newest member of her family shrewdly. "A bit of make up. But remember, Josie can get people, especially humans, to trust her instantly. If she says she has a broken arm, that's what they'll see."

Josie shook her dark head then. "No, I can't lie to them like that. I'll say I got lucky when I fell. Hit my head, but no broken bones, just got lost."

Carlisle stood and paced to the window. "All right, well if we're going to do this, we'd best start now." He looked at his family. "Girls, can you make her up? Bruises, fake blood. And contact lenses. She may need a few extra pairs as the venom will melt them." Alice stood, grinning. This was exactly her sort of thing. "I'd better get down to the hospital. And Jacob, if you go and help with the search? Lead Charlie in the right direction. When we get her in location we'll let your pack know where she is. You'll have to be careful not to lead the police right to her, otherwise it will look suspicious."

Jacob grinned, his white teeth flashing. "Just leave it to me, we'll make sure he's none the wiser."

"What about me?" I asked as every set about their tasks. "Can I do anything to help?"

"Come with me," Jacob said, holding his hand out to me. "You can come on the search too, keep Josie company when she gets to the hospital. Someone will need to talk to her friends anyway."

I smiled, glad that he wasn't insisting I stay home, as I knew Edward would have suggested.

"We'll go now and find a good place to leave her," Emmett said, he and Jasper standing by the door. "It will have to be somewhere secluded, where they haven't searched yet."

Carlisle nodded. "Good idea. We all have our phones on us, keep in touch."

Alice pressed something into my hand then and I looked down at the sleek black object. "Early graduation present. I wanted you to be able to stay in touch after you left school, but you may as well have it now." I opened my mouth to argue, but she shook her head firmly. "Don't start, Bella. I'm allowed to buy my best friend a present if I want to."

"Thank you," I said graciously. "For everything I mean."

She nodded and hugged me tightly, careful not hurt me in her cold embrace. "I should be thanking you, Bella. Everything's going to work out so wonderfully."

"I'm surprised you didn't see us making all these arrangements."

She frowned. "Wolves. It really does get quite frustrating you know. But I'm guessing he's not going anywhere?" she nodded at Jacob.

I shook my head, a smile creeping onto my face. "No. I think I'll keep him around for a while."

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	16. Chapter 16

**Enjoy!**

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I picked my way carefully through the woods, careful not to trip over a particularly knobbly tree root as we slowly descended in to the ravine. It had started to rain and I pulled my hood tighter around my face, beginning to feel the chill as the afternoon wore on. It hadn't taken much persuasion to let Charlie agree to the Quileute boys helping the search. He'd almost cried with happiness when I turned up at the station with reinforcements and had waved off my excuses for not being in school, understanding that I was too distraught over Josie's disappearance to be in the mood for study. He knew as well as I did that there was little else I was going to learn in my final week of high school, after my exams had been taken and all work had already been handed in.

I checked my new phone again, but it had stayed silent since Edward had rung earlier, giving Jacob the exact location of Josie. It hadn't taken them long to apply the make up and for her to change back into her ripped and bloodied clothes and position themselves in the woods. The Cullen boys were helping with the search party as well, and Charlie seemed slightly friendlier towards Edward because of it. He hadn't actually spoken to him directly, but the glare that he shot Edward on seeing him could have been more severe.

A wet branch whipped back and caught me in the face at that moment and I glared at Jacob who snorted with laughter and kissed me swiftly on the nose in apology.

"Brat," I mumbled, glad that he had at least put on a pair of trainers even if he hadn't bothered to don a t-shirt. Quil and Embry had joined the search party as well, and I was glad to see them. Before we had set out, they'd been joking around as usual, so I knew there were no hard feelings about the sudden change in Alpha. When seeing me, they'd wolf-whistled and Quil had ruffled my hair.

"Finally got him to imprint did you, Bella?" he teased as Embry held his hand out for a high five. "Careful though, honey. Don't forget that we get the pleasure of seeing everything this clown does if he can't control his thoughts." I'd blushed furiously at this as Jacob cursed, grabbing Quil and putting him in a headlock as Embry had whooped. It was good that Jacob still had his best friends around him to laugh with, even when things were so tense with the rest of the pack.

I shivered, hoping we would find Josie soon. Obviously Jacob couldn't lead the police straight to her, but I was hoping we wouldn't take too much longer. I'd just stepped straight into a puddle when there was a shout of discovery from somewhere to our right.

Jacob turned back to me a grinned. "Let the fun begin," he said and grabbed my hand, heading towards the voices.

Somehow they managed to get a stretcher down into the ravine and Emmett and Jacob carried her back up to the top where an ambulance was waiting. I wasn't sure how much a vampire weighed exactly, but I was glad none of the humans had tried lifting her. Josie did an excellent job of convincing everyone that she had merely fallen and couldn't find her way back to camp. Even I felt for certain that the bruises and cuts on her face and arms were real, though rationally I knew they couldn't be.

"I'll ride with her in the ambulance," I told Charlie as they loaded her in.

"Ok, kiddo. We'll meet you at the hospital. I'll get in touch with her friends."

As the ambulance doors slammed closed Josie smiled and winked at me. "You don't need to do any of that now," Josie said as a paramedic tried to put a blood pressure cuff around her arm.

"I don't?" she asked, halting mid-action and looking slightly surprised.

"No, they'll do all of that at the hospital. You don't need to do anything now."

The young paramedic sat backwards, the apparatus limp in her hands. "Oh. Ok then. Yes, we'll wait until we get to the hospital."

The possibilities of Josie's gift overwhelmed me at that moment. She was very powerful and the consequences of her actions could be phenomenal. I only hoped that her goodness would stop her power being used for anything besides benefiting others. The alternative made me shudder.

We finally arrived at Forks Hospital, where Carlisle was waiting to greet us. I left them to it and wandered through to the waiting room, looking for the others. Edward was already there, looking concerned as I'd expected.

"She's fine," I told him, sitting on one of the hard plastic chairs. "And she did fantastically."

"Good, good," he muttered, distracted.

"She's incredible, Edward," I said quietly, watching him to gage his reaction.

He simply nodded.

"Just imagine what she could do with that power."

"I know," he replied quietly. "It's a little worrying."

I started. "Why? You don't think she'll use it for the wrong reasons?"

He looked alarmed then and shook his head quickly. "No, that's not what I meant. I've seen inside her head and there's no way she would take advantage of her power. I'm just concerned that the Volturi will recognise how powerful she is, and won't want her around."

"Do they need to know she exists?" I asked, seeing no reason why they should have to come into this at all.

"I don't know," he replied slowly, deep in thought. "I just have a feeling that her existence won't be kept secret for long. The Volturi have a way of knowing about useful vampires." He smiled at the confusion on my face. "I saw into their minds when we were in Volterra, Bella. Aro _collects_ vampires. He wanted Alice and me for his collection, and I can't imagine what he would do to have someone like Josie in his possession."

I thought about this for a moment, but there was no use dwelling over it. "Maybe she can convince him otherwise," I joked weakly and he managed a smile.

"I miss you, Bella," he said quietly then, not meeting my eyes.

I hadn't been expecting this. "I know, Edward. But I'm still here. I'm still me."

He nodded grimly. "Jacob's good for you, Bella. As much as I hate to admit it. But you're so happy with him, and that makes me happy."

"Be happy for yourself now, Edward," I said touching his face and making him look at me. "You have this incredible, talented girl in there, and I already see the way you look at her. You deserve her, Edward. You deserve each other. You are both so good, and she's strong willed enough to keep you in line and stop you from being so down on yourself."

"But I made a promise to you, Bella -"

"Well you're released from that promise." I looked up as the waiting room doors swung open and smiled widely. Jacob strode in, followed closely by Seth, Quil, Embry and Charlie. I got to my feet.

"Dr. Cullen's seeing her now," I told Charlie who nodded and followed a nurse through to the other room.

"How's she doing?" Jacob asked, grinning and kissing me swiftly once he'd made sure Charlie was out of the room.

I laughed. "Fantastically."

Charlie didn't stay at the hospital long, merely checked to make sure she was doing ok, took her and Carlisle's statements, and returned back to the station where I was sure he would be celebrating thoroughly. "Don't cook tonight, Bella!" He ordered on the way out. "We'll get Billy around and have pizza!"

Carlisle had done a wonderful job on Josie, wrapping bandages around her head and even putting her arm in a cast. She appeared to have a drip in her hand, although I knew the needle never would have penetrated her marble skin. Her friends were going to stay in Forks for one more night before returning back to Tulsa without her. I knew she would be sad to see them go, but Josie wanted to stay in Forks to help fight against Victoria when the time came, and to learn about being a vampire from her new family members.

Her resistance was really put to the test when a patient was admitted into the neighbouring bed with a bad head wound. She discovered then that she could stop breathing quite comfortably. She continued to make discoveries about her new vampire body all afternoon, and I laughed along with the others as she convinced Emmett that he would win hands down in an arm wrestling match, and then beat him spectacularly on the first try.

Jacob came and went throughout the evening, still running patrols and giving instructions to his pack. The vampires too were on watch for Victoria, and Alice had taken off for a few hours to try and see her next move.

My grumbling stomach finally alerted me to the time at 6 o'clock and Carlisle dropped Jacob and me back off at the house on his way home.

I unlocked the front door and stepped inside, Jacob following closely behind.

"Jake," I began once we'd sat down at the kitchen table and Jacob had helped himself to a handful of cookies. "Earlier Quil said that the whole pack would be able to see everything that goes through your head. Even stuff about us."

Jacob swallowed, looking bashful. Reaching up he scratched his head uncomfortably. "It's not always easy controlling my thoughts, Bella."

"What do you think about?" I demanded, feeling heat flood my face.

"Nothing really," he said quickly, not quite meeting my gaze. "Just sometimes when we're out patrolling my mind wanders."

"To what?"

"Well…y'know…stuff we've done. Stuff we…might do."

I took a deep breath.

"Don't yell, ok? It's not easy. You try controlling your thoughts all the time. It's just that I constantly think about you, Bella. You're always in my mind and I don't know how to stop that. When we kiss it's like heaven and I can't help but think about it."

"But Jacob, what happens when we…_if_ we start doing…more than kissing?"

He looked up hopefully but before he had a chance to say anything, another thought hit me.

"Wait. Does this mean that you've seen what all the other pack members do? You've seen all their girlfriends?"

He blushed then. "It's not like I want to Bella."

I glared but didn't have a chance to pursue this any further as the front door banged open and Charlie called out, "Honey, I'm home!"

I heard Billy laughing in the hallway and they both entered the kitchen looking thoroughly pleased with themselves. Charlie was holding two pieces of paper excitedly in his hand.

"Look what Deputy Lynch got me," he exclaimed excitedly, waving the paper at me and beaming. "Tickets to the Sonics versus the Lakers tomorrow night! We're going to take the day off work and everything, make a real trip out of it. He gave me a spare so I asked Billy here to come too!" He looked worried for a moment. "Unless…sorry, honey, I didn't think…I mean…did you want to come and watch the game?"

I grinned. "Dear Lord, no. You two go have fun." I took the pizza boxes from Billy. "Will you be ok to drive back after the game?"

"Nah, Lynch has got a cousin in Seattle so we'll stay with him and drive back in the morning." He looked concerned. "Is that ok? It is your last week of school after all."

"It's fine, Dad," I replied honestly. "Aren't I supposed to be the one asking _you_ permission to do things?"

After dinner we all sat in the living room, watching a sitcom that was on TV. I dozed off in my armchair, the sound of the TV's laughter oddly soothing, the men's conversation only barely registering in my head.

"Listen, Jacob," Charlie said quietly, keeping his voice low. "I know the Cullens have been back for a little while now, and she seems to be ok, but would you keep an eye on her for me tomorrow night? I just don't want her to be here by herself."

"Sure, sure," he replied and I could picture the lazy smile settling on his full lips. "Not a problem. She can come stay down at the res. My sister's room is empty."

"That would be great, Jake, thanks. Just don't let her know that I asked you to do this. She's stubborn like that."

"Yeah, I know _that_," Jacob agreed. "Never met anyone so stubborn."

The two older men chuckled. "She giving you a hard time?" Charlie asked him sympathetically and somewhere in my sleepy brain I knew I should be disapproving of the way they were all talking about me.

"Nah," he said loyally. "She's beginning to come round, I think."

"Ah, you'll get her in the end, son," Charlie said, chortling to himself.

_Hmph_, I thought sleepily. _Whose side are you on anyway?'_

_

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**Thanks for reading, really hope you enjoyed it and please leave a review letting me know what you think. Every little one makes me happy, and if you want a preview to next chapter, just ask :) **


	17. Chapter 17

**AN: **Thank you so much for all my incredible reviews. I feel so lucky to be getting such positive feedback and I really do appreciate every single one! Am trying to update quickly for you, but the next chapter may not be ready for a little while, though I'll try to have it up within the week. Thanks so much reading, and hope you enjoy this chapter!

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School was uneventful the next day, and I found myself barely concentrating in any of my classes. The teachers had pretty much given up hope, and Mr. Duke let us talk amongst ourselves for the last fifteen minutes of History. Angela was worrying about the number of relatives she had showing up for the graduation while Jessica fretted over her outfit.

"I mean, like when I bought the dress I thought it was perfect, but now I'm not so sure. I totally thought the weather would be nicer, so I might have to wear a sweater with it, and that would just ruin the whole look. But the gowns look pretty hot. What do you think, Bella? They'd be pretty hot right?"

"I wouldn't wear a sweater," I told her absently, grinning sideways at Angela as she rolled her eyes. "We'll be inside anyway, you'll be fine."

"Right. Yeah, you're totally right."

Luckily Lauren pulled her attention away from us and I sighed thankfully, not wanting to discuss clothes or hair any more.

"So," Angela began. "Will Jacob be coming to your graduation?"

I shrugged. "I'm not sure," I admitted honestly. "I haven't exactly invited him."

"Do you want to?"

I considered this. To be honest, graduation just wasn't that big of a deal to me, not with everything else that was going on. I was more worried about Victoria appearing in Forks with an army of vampires, attacking my friends and family. "I guess I'd like him there," I said and decided to confide in her. "Actually, both our dads are out of town, so I'm going to go sleep over there tonight."

Her mouth fell open. "Seriously? I mean are you two…sleeping together?"

"No!" I exclaimed then realised we were still in class and lowered my voice. "No we're not. I mean, I think we might be a couple now. We haven't exactly talked about it."

"You looked like a couple when I saw you the other day," she admitted.

"I'm a little bit nervous about tonight to be honest. I don't know what he's expecting. Do you think he's expecting something?"

Angela raised her shoulders in a shrug. "I'd say being a teenage boy he probably has considered it. But I can't imagine Jacob would have any set intentions for tonight. He doesn't seem like that kind of guy."

"No, you're right," I agreed, leaning back in my chair. "But we'll both have thought about it."

"Well, if you love him and you want to do it, then what's stopping you?"

"I just don't think we're at that stage yet. It's all still so soon after…" I trailed off, thinking about Edward and wishing I hadn't gone there. "What about you and Ben?" I asked, turning the attention away from me. To my surprise, she blushed.

"No, we haven't done _it_ yet…but we've fooled around a bit."

"Oh really!" I laughed as the bell rang and we gathered our bags. I was going to enjoy trying to weasel the details out of her for the remainder of the afternoon.

Once the afternoon bell rang to signal the end of the school day, I drove over to the Cullens house, glad to see Alice and Josie lying in the grass out front. Josie had raised her arms up in front of her, watching as the patchy sunlight made her pale skin light up like diamonds.

"Bella, look!" she called as I wandered over to them. "Look at this, it's incredible!"

Laughing along with Alice I sat in the grass and watched as Josie studied her new body, awestruck.

"Only two more days until graduation," Alice reminded me, watching as Josie rose to her feet and sprinted to the nearest tree, scaling the branches in a heartbeat and then leaping fearlessly from the top before repeating this exercise.

"Will you come?" I asked her hopefully. "It would be nice to have you there."

"Of course I will. And I know Emmett wouldn't miss it for the world – he's already bet Jasper that you'll trip over your own feet on stage before receiving your diploma."

The possibility of this worried me. "Will I?"

"Don't wear heels," she advised, smiling. "Oh and by the way, I'm throwing you a graduation party afterwards."

I spluttered in shock and anger. "What? Alice, no! We have enough on our plates at the moment, I don't need or want a party!"

"But Bella, please." Her eyes widened sadly. "I never get to do anything fun anymore, and as I don't even _get_ a graduation I want to at least be able to throw a party. And I can't throw it for _me_, so please let me throw it for you."

"No," I insisted. "I don't like parties." My resolve was beginning to crumble however at the look of grief on her perfect face.

"You know I could just get Josie back down here to convince you," she threatened. Hearing this, Josie was back by our sides within seconds, grinning impishly at me.

"I could as well," she said.

I glared at them both. "Fine." I didn't want to be too ungracious after all. Alice squealed and hugged me tight then handed over a thick wad of envelopes addressed to all of my classmates.

"The entire grade, Alice? Really?"

"Don't be a party pooper. And you can invite Jacob too if you want."

"Of course I want to," I muttered.

"Speaking of which, I see your future's disappearing tonight. Plans with the dog?"

I blushed a little. "I'm staying down in La Push tonight actually. Charlie's going out of town."

There was a loud crashing noise from inside the house, and I whipped around to gaze up at the windows but saw no movement. "What was that?"

Alice snorted with laughter. "Just because he's happy you've moved on doesn't mean he likes the idea of you spending the night with an immature werewolf."

I blushed even harder and permitted Josie to tease me relentlessly. Finally she eased up and I closed my eyes, enjoying the sun's warm rays on my face.

"Bella, I wanted to talk to you about something," Josie began, her voice more serious now. "It's about Edward."

I opened my eyes and looked at her shrewdly. She wasn't looking at me, but was focused on her fingers twisting together anxiously in her lap. Her hair fell into her red eyes and she shook it away impatiently.

"I know that you two were together, and very much in love, and I don't want to step on any toes."

I could see where this was going and my mouth twitched into a smile.

"It's just that I've spent an awful lot of time with him these past few days, and I've never met anyone quite like him. He's incredible. He can see everything in my head, and he actually understands me. I'm not always good at expressing myself, but he _gets_ me."

I reached over and rested my hand over her anxious fingers. "Josie, I am so happy for you," I said quietly, trying to meet her eyes. "Edward was and still is very important to me, but I'm not in love with him anymore and his happiness is one of the most important things. You are so honest and talented and good, and you'll make him happy."

She looked up at me, meeting my eyes, a glimmer of hope behind her own. "Thank you, Bella." She laughed then. "You're right about honest; it's impossible to be otherwise around Edward."

"I am glad that he never held that power over me," I admitted. "I wonder why I'm not immune to your Gifts though, as I am to Edward's."

"Carlisle has a theory about that actually," Alice informed me. "He thinks a lot of what Josie can do is physical – a type of physical trust that she can build in people. You see it in their expressions and body movements. It's quite fascinating actually."

We spent the rest of the afternoon in a similar fashion, lazing happily in the late afternoon sun, discussing a variety of topics and flitting occasionally to the subjects of Edward or Jacob. I found that I really didn't mind Josie falling for Edward. I always thought it would upset me, but she was too likable for me to be upset with her. And I honestly did want to see them make each other happy, as I knew they would. The Cullens offered to order in Italian food for dinner, but I rejected their kind offer, realising it was probably time to head down to La Push. Emmett gave me a bone crushing hug goodbye, which almost made up for his relentless teasing all afternoon and even Rosalie smiled at me as I left.

A kind of anticipation grew in me as I drove down to La Push. I wasn't sure what was expected of me this evening. Jacob and I had sleepovers before, but they'd never been planned like tonight. Were there unsaid expectations?

My nervous butterflies all but disappeared when Jacob wandered out of the house, hearing my truck, a smile plastered to his face. I was surprised to see him fully dressed, t-shirt and all, and commented as much when he pulled me into his bear hug.

"You should consider yourself lucky," he joked as we walked inside. "I don't dress up for just any lady."

"I'm honoured. Just be careful and don't go transforming in them. I can't imagine you have many t-shirts left."

He grinned at this. "Don't worry, tonight I am all yours. No patrolling for me."

I stood up on my tiptoes, craning my head up and Jacob responded, leaning down to kiss me gently, drawing me into him.

"I was thinking we could make pizzas then watch a couple movies? We could actually have a real date night."

I grinned happily. "Sounds very normal and fantastic. I do have a little bit of homework to do though. My English teacher is making us write a short essay on the greatest achievements and the best experiences we've taken away from high school. I'm considering a paragraph on not being eaten."

He laughed and set about making the pizzas as I sat at the kitchen table, writing the ridiculous essay and listening to him chatter about the latest news from school and the pack.

"What are you doing this weekend?" he asked, pulling the cooked pizzas from the oven and getting two plates from the cupboard and placing them on the table.

"Well I graduate Saturday afternoon. I think Charlie's taking me out to dinner, and then Alice is throwing me a party. You're invited by the way. But besides that, all free." I grinned at him and took a piece of ham and pineapple pizza, letting the strings of cheese stretch across the table. "This looks really good, Jake."

"Thanks. I was just asking 'cause the tribe's got this big celebration on Sunday. It goes for a couple days. It's the first full moon of the summer, so we have this big party down on the beach. I wanted you to come with me, if you'd like."

"Sounds great!"

We took our time over dinner and then cleaned up the kitchen. I washed while Jacob dried, and it took longer given Jacob kept pausing his work to kiss me gently on the back of neck or press me up against the counter, trailing kisses along my jaw and down my throat. A dull ache had filled my abdomen by the time we settled down on his couch to watch a movie, and I rested my head in his lap, enjoying the closeness and letting my mind wander. The movie was a romantic comedy and I could feel the tension in the air as the on-screen couple got hot and heavy under the sheets.

Finally I stretched, yawning. "Time for bed," I said. "School tomorrow."

"Right," Jacob hit the remote and stood, scratching his head uncomfortably. "Um, well, the twins' room is all made up if you wanted…"

"Uh, yea, ok, I'll just…um, grab my bag." I picked up my duffel bag from where I'd dumped it and followed Jacob into his sisters' old room. It was small but tidy and pretty, the walls a light lavender with two twin sized beds pressed against opposite sides of the room.

"I'll leave you to get dressed. Good night." Jacob rubbed his nose then leaned in, pecking me on the mouth before hastily leaving the room, closing the door behind him.

I let out a deep sigh and sat on the edge of the closest bed, rubbing my face in my hands. That had been awkward. I quickly got ready for bed, and ventured out into the bathroom to brush my teeth, noting that Jacob's light was still on under his door. I hesitated, wondering whether I should go into his room to talk to him, but decided against it. He would probably wonder why I was there, and I had no good reason to disturb him.

I crawled into the sheets, pulling the blankets high up around me and trying not to feel upset by tonight's outcome. It wasn't like I wanted anything from him, but I never thought things would be awkward between me and Jacob, and tonight for the first time they had been.

I tossed uneasily against the scratchy sheets, trying to get comfortable in this unfamiliar bedroom. This was ridiculous, us sleeping in separate bedrooms with nothing but a thin wall between us. Only two nights ago we'd spent the entire night together, so why was it now awkward? Did our dads being out of town set expectations? Maybe Jacob wanted to make it clear that he didn't want to make love to me.

It didn't make sense though; we had always been able to talk about everything with each other without it being uncomfortable. We'd never really discussed our physical relationship or how we saw it progressing but I'd just assumed it would flow naturally just as the rest of our relationship had. But maybe Jacob didn't see me that way anymore. After all, he'd resisted my advances in the kitchen the day before as well.

I turned over and buried my face in the pillow. Did he not find me attractive?

At that moment the door to the room banged open and Jacob strolled over to the bed. "This is ridiculous," he informed me as he leant down and scooped me up in his arms. Without any further explanation, he carried me bodily from the room and back into his own, placing me gently into his bed and climbing in beside me.

"Much better," he breathed, pulling me closer into him and crushing his lips into mine. Sighing, I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him close, so glad to be back in his arms where I belonged. One of his large warm hands slipped under the hem of my t-shirt and rested on my waist, rubbing circles on my skin with his thumb.

I tore my lips away from his to place searing kisses along his jaw and down his throat. I felt his hand slowly sliding up my bare skin, hesitating when his thumb grazed the crease of my breast. I wasn't wearing a bra, and this took him a little by surprise. Inclining his head, Jacob captured my lips in his once again and let his hand creep a little higher, gently caressing the soft skin of my breast. His thumb traced over my hardened nipple and I felt my breath catch in my throat and a small moan escape my lips. Shifting my weight on to my arm, I helped as he pulled my t-shirt up over my head. It was his turn to moan as I lay half naked beside him. His lips descended on my chest and I shivered, tangling my hand in his hair and gasping as he kissed and licked me.

My mind was racing, trying to comprehend this new level that Jacob and I had seemed to reach in mere seconds. I felt the desire and heat flooding through my body, reacting to his touch and I knew I didn't want to stop. I wanted him closer, I wanted more. Dragging his head back up to my lips, I let my hands explore the bare skin of his back and bravely slipped a few fingers under the waistband of his sweats. He pulled away a little then, looking as though he was fighting with himself.

"Bells, wait," he whispered, stroking my hair back from my face.

"What?" I asked him. "Did I do something wrong?"

"No, God, no. You're fantastic, it's just," he hesitated, looking torn. "I think maybe we should slow down."

"Oh." I felt as though he had punched the breath out of me. I felt rejected. Self-consciously I lifted an arm up, covering myself.

"Bella, trust me I want to keep going. I want you so badly, but I just think if we go any further I'm not going to be _able_ to stop."

"That's ok," I replied, nodding my head earnestly. "We don't have to."

He moaned at that and nuzzled into my neck, sucking gently on my skin before drawing back. "You're really not making this any easier," he complained in a low husky voice. "But Bella we do have to stop. For a start I don't have any protection."

I blushed.

"And also, I don't want to rush you into this." He hesitated. "Maybe it's something we should talk about."

With a sigh, I sat up and felt around in the dark for my t-shirt. Maybe he was right, I thought. We could probably do with a conversation before we went any further. Finding the discarded top I pulled it back on and shuffled over so I was lying comfortably in the crook of Jacob's arm, gazing up at his ceiling.

"You're beautiful, you know," he said quietly and I turned my head a little to look into his eyes. They twinkled in the light from the moon.

"Not really," I replied. "I'm not exactly a typical busty beauty."

He shook his head, smiling. "You're perfect. I love you so much, you know that?"

Nodding I lent up and kissed him gently. "I love you too, Jacob."

"Bella, as much as I don't want to rush you and I'm happy with just being us, I want to be able to call you my girlfriend."

I laughed. "Are you asking me out, Jacob Black?"

He grinned back and tickled my ribs, making me squirm. "Yes, Isabella Swan, I am asking you out."

"Alright," I replied, "I'll be your girlfriend."

"Yes!" He jokingly punched his fist in the air. "I'm going out with a _senior_. I'm gonna be the coolest guy at school."

I rumpled his hair, and we wrestled playfully for a little while. Later, when I was tucked up carefully in his arms, my ear pressed to his bare chest, listening to his heartbeat, I finally spoke. "Jacob, have you ever been with a girl before?"

He tensed a little underneath me. "I kissed a couple of girls before you," he admitted. "But nothing more than that. How about you?"

I shook my head. "No, Edward and I just kissed."

He squeezed my shoulders and kissed the top of my head. "Are you sure you want this, Bella? It's a big step for us. I mean, I've been dreaming of you and me together, like this, for I don't know how long. But I don't want to rush you into something you're not sure about."

"I'm sure about you," I replied honestly. "I'm sure about us."

"Good." We lay there in silence for a long while, lazily stroking each other's bodies and planting the occasional soft kiss on the other, enjoying the warmth between us. I felt myself slowly drifting off into a comfortable sleep, when Jacob spoke quietly. "You're graduating on Saturday."

"Mmhmm," I mumbled back. "You and Billy will come, right?"

"Sure," he replied. "So what are your plans for next year? You didn't apply to college, did you?"

"No, I never really got around to it, and it would be too late now. I was thinking of just taking a year off, try and figure out what I want from life, where I want to go."

"I'd like it if you hung around Forks for a bit longer," he admitted. "I still have another two years of high school before I'm free of this place."

"Will you ever be free?" I asked him seriously. "You're Alpha now, and the council said there's no way of going back. Don't you have to stay?"

He shrugged. "Sam could take back over for me, it wouldn't be a problem. Although if we're still expecting a visit from those Volturi, I don't think I can leave – the pack needs me."

I sighed. "Sometimes I wish that none of this magic existed."

"I know what you mean, life would be a hell of a lot easier."

We slipped back into a comfortable silence. This was the first real conversation we'd ever had about our future together, and I let my mind drift to the possibilities it presented. I'd chosen a human life, and now I thought about what that meant, what that would allow me. My imagination conjured up the image of two small dark haired children running around a back garden as Jacob stood, his arms wrapped around me, maybe another baby in my arms. It sounds simple, but the concept of motherhood had never really occurred to me before. Maybe because it simply wasn't an option, but now I realised that it was something that I wanted. I wanted the experience of being a mother…of being a wife.

I squirmed a little and buried my face further into Jacob, breathing in his masculine scent. Was I silly? Thinking about all of this? I wasn't saying I wanted any of it soon, or ever in the near future, but someday. Someday.

At some point I dozed off, still tucked safely in Jacob's warm arms, dreaming of houses and children.

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**Thanks again for reading! Please leave a review, they do actually make me update faster when I know people are keen for the next chapter! **


	18. Chapter 18

**AN: ** Hi everyone! Thank you so much to those who reviewed! I had a little bit of a mixed response to Jacob's chivalry last chapter: some thinking he was too much like Edward, others thinking it was the right thing to do. I just think it's so important for a young couple to be prepared and completely sure of themselves before beginning a physical relationship and I didn't want Bella and Jacob jumping into anything too quickly. Although, having said that, I might have to up the rating next chapter... :-) Hope you enjoy!

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The last two days of school passed in a bit of a blur. By Friday afternoon, even I was feeling sentimental and reflected back on my first day of school in Forks. I'd wanted so badly to just be invisible, go completely unnoticed by everyone. I wondered what I'd been so afraid of. I was afraid of being seen, being noticed. Afraid of that human connection and the social interactions I was so incompetent at. A lot had changed in a year.

I drove away from school Friday afternoon with a heavy feeling in my chest. Wasn't I supposed to feel light and free? School was over forever. I was liberated.

A strange car was sitting in my driveway as I pulled up but I couldn't see anyone inside. Suddenly I was cautious and whipped out my new mobile phone, preparing to call the Cullens. It was made unnecessary though when I heard a tap on my window and jumped to see Alice and Jasper standing outside.

"New car?" I asked them, doubting they would ever own such an old model.

Alice shook her head, smiling. "No. This is a visitor you're going to want to see. She let herself in about half an hour ago. But we thought we'd better warn you in case you were afraid your visitor was preferential to blood."

"Thanks," I murmured, irritated with her cryptic description and still puzzled as to who would be visiting. And someone who'd let herself in as well…

I hurried up the front steps and tried the front door handle. It was unlocked, although I distinctly remembered locking it behind me this morning. I quickly felt above the doorframe for the spare key but it was gone. I frowned and stepped inside.

"Bella!"

"Mom?"

"Baby girl!" She pulled me into a hug, squeezing me tightly before releasing me and holding me at arm's length, inspecting me shrewdly. "You look good, Bella! So healthy!"

"Thanks, Mom," I replied, still dazed at seeing her here, and aware that the last time she'd seen me I'd practically been in a coma. "What are you doing here? And how did you get in?"

"Your father needs to find a new hiding spot for that spare key. It's been hidden on the doorframe ever since you and I lived here. And I did tell you I was coming, I sent you an email a week ago!"

I blushed. "I haven't checked it in a while, sorry. I've been a little preoccupied."

She smiled. "So I gather. I spoke to Charlie the day before yesterday and he decided to keep it a secret - surprise you for your graduation!"

"Thanks, Mom, but you really didn't have to. It's a long way and graduation's not really that big of a deal." It was wonderful to see her again, but having Renee up here in Forks meant yet another person I loved being in danger.

"Not a big deal? Of course it is!" She took my hand and led me through into the kitchen, pushing me into an empty chair and pouring a glass of juice from the fridge. "Now, tell all! I haven't heard from you in quite some time."

"Sorry," I said again. "Things have just been nuts around here."

Her face was eager, so I began to explain how Edward had returned, but how I'd chosen not to take him back. How Josie had gone missing and how we'd found her in the forest and now she was staying with the Cullens. I explained my happiness over Alice's return, my confusion about Edward, and finally, my feelings toward Jacob.

"Are you in love with him?" Renee asked, taking in everything I'd told her.

Slowly I nodded. "But it's strange, because he's my best friend. I can tell him anything and I would trust him with my life. He made me better, when I thought things couldn't get any worse. And then out of nowhere I just started seeing him differently. It was like Edward's return somehow made everything clearer – and I suddenly realised who was the most important person to me. The person I couldn't stand to ever lose."

"And does your dad know?" she asked, curious.

I laughed at that. "I think he knew before I did."

"You seem happy," she said quietly, gripping my hand and smiling. "And not just because you have Jacob. You seem happier in yourself. More confident maybe."

"I am," I admitted. "It was like by making the decision to not be with Edward, to stand alone, I changed somehow. Maybe not fundamentally; I think I'm still me, but it's like I know what I want now."

"And what is that?"

"Well I know I'm not quite ready to go to college yet, but I do want to go eventually. I'm going to take this year off and figure out what I want to do. I think I want to help people, but that's really all I've worked out so far."

Renee didn't say anything for a while, but when she did speak I noticed she had tears in her eyes. "You turned into a woman without me being here to witness it. I wish I could have been a bigger part of your life this last year."

I shook my head. "Don't be silly, Mom. Things have been great here with Charlie. He's a pretty incredible dad actually."

We continued chatting late into the afternoon and she helped me prepare dinner, although 'help' may not have been the appropriate word. The doorbell rang and Renee went to answer it, leaving me to stir the bolognaise sauce before turning the heat down and letting it simmer.

"Jacob Black," I heard her saying from the hallway. "My goodness, the last time I saw you, you were three months old. I'm Renee, Bella's mom."

I walked into the hallway, drying my hands on a tea towel and smiling at the giant in the doorframe.

"It's great to meet you," Jacob said, flashing Renee a dazzling smile and shaking her hand. "How long was the flight from Florida?"

Renee laughed girlishly and I rolled my eyes at her flirtatious manner. She'd never change. "Oh, long enough! Come in, come in! Bella's making spaghetti."

"Ah, my favourite!" He grinned at me and closed the door behind him. "Hey there, high school graduate! How does it feel to be free of the institution?"

"Weird I guess," I admitted leaning up and kissing him on the cheek before following Renee back into the kitchen. "Hasn't quite sunk in really."

Renee and Jacob chatted away like old buddies until Charlie got home. I realised I was anxious at having my parents back together in the same room, and Jacob picked up on my mood, squeezing my hand as Renee went to greet Charlie in the hall.

"It'll be fine," he whispered, taking the opportunity to kiss me sweetly. "You had a good day?"

"Mm, but I missed you." I hadn't seen him since Thursday morning when I'd left his house for school. "How was patrolling?"

"Exhausting, and we've found nothing. Not even a trail. And it looks like some of the other boys in the tribe might be getting close to making the change, too."

I patted his hand, knowing that he wouldn't wish his fate on anyone. Charlie and Renee walked back into the kitchen then, and Jacob moved to take away his hand from mine, but I held on firmly. It was about time Charlie knew about us. Jacob was my boyfriend now, after all. However, Charlie didn't even seem to notice this development, merely clapped Jacob on the shoulder and wandered over to the fridge to grab a beer.

The evening passed happily and my parents laughed together like old friends. It was with a sense of contentment that I said goodbye to Renee as she headed back to the local hotel for the night, promising to see me at the gymnasium for my graduation tomorrow.

Jacob and I retreated up to my room then, and spent an hour exploring each other's bodies, enjoying the feel of each other's touch. It was with great frustration that I said goodbye to Jacob that evening, and I half hoped he would climb back through my window so we could resume where we'd left off, even though I knew he had patrols.

I woke late the following morning, letting the knowledge that I was about to graduate high school seep into my groggy brain. I wondered whether Edward would be there. Would he want to see all his old classmates graduate? Would he want to see _me_ graduate?

I had lunch with Charlie who'd deferred his usual Saturday fishing trip in honour of the occasion and slowly got myself ready for the day, taking my time in the shower, blow-drying my hair straight and even applying makeup. I threw on the new outfit that I'd bought with Alice what felt like months ago but had in fact only been last weekend. So much had happened in this past week, I was still reeling. Jacob had imprinted; Josie went missing, and then became a vampire; Jacob became Alpha of the pack; Renee came to visit. The list just went on and on.

I remembered Alice's warning and was glad we'd chosen a pair of sensible flats to pair with my blue dress, as I had no intentions of falling flat on my face.

Charlie and Renee were waiting with the camera when I descended the stairs and I had to endure a hundred photos in different locations around the house before they finally let up and we were able to drive to the gymnasium in time for the ceremony.

As we sat listening to the principal speak, I turned my head, looking for my parents. They sat together in a back row, Renee dabbing at her eyes, while Charlie beamed proudly. Next to them were Jacob, Billy, Seth, Quil and Embry. To my surprise, Sam and Emily sat in the audience as well. I continued searching the crowd and found the familiar pale faces I'd been looking for on the opposite side of the hall to my Quileute friends. All the Cullens were seated there except for Rosalie and Josie, who I assumed didn't feel comfortable sitting in a room full of hot-blooded humans so soon after her transformation. I turned back in my seat, feeling warmth fill me as I realised how many friends and family I had, all here to support me. How life had changed.

The ceremony passed slowly, and my name was finally called. There was a lot of loud cheering from the Quileute boys and Emmett as I received my diploma and I returned Jacob's wink happily, unable to stop the grin from spreading over my face.

Then before I knew it we had all thrown our hats into the air and then everyone was hugging tearfully, promising to always keep in touch and arrange our next reunion.

I was almost glad when my parents took me out to dinner, to get away from the overwhelming emotions of my fellow classmates. We'd already planned a number of trips to the beach throughout the summer, so I knew I'd be seeing them again soon.

Jacob picked me up from the restaurant after we'd stuffed ourselves with three courses of delicious food, and we drove to the Cullen's house for Alice's graduation party. Jacob parked the Rabbit in the sea of cars but we didn't get out immediately.

"You look beautiful tonight," he said softly, turning to look at me and tucking a lock of hair behind my ear.

"It's just the dress," I replied, embarrassed at the intense look he was giving me. I felt my pulse leap and my breath quicken as he leant in and kissed me gently.

"It's not the dress," he said, his voice barely more than a whisper. I sighed, suddenly really not wanting to go inside, but to stay in this car with him, pressing our bodies together, letting my hands explore every inch of his skin.

A sharp rap on the window broke me out of my daydreams and I snapped around in the seat. Josie grinned in at us and opened the door. "You're missing your own party," she informed me, taking my arm and pulling me from the car. "Alice sent me out to hurry you both up. She also instructed me to tell you that she doesn't see any children in your near future and she'd appreciate it if you kept it that way for a little while."

I was glad the dark night hid my blush. "We weren't doing anything, thank you very much," I retorted, taking Jacob's hand as we walked up to the brightly lit house. Music was pounding dully in the otherwise still night air.

As we walked inside the party I was immediately swept up by a group of people, talking excitedly and thanking me for inviting them to my party. I assured them all that it was all Alice's doing and tried to prise myself away, looking around the room for some familiar faces. Jasper and Emmett were standing uncomfortably by the stairs, looking as though they were only in attendance due to Alice's threats, which was probably the case. Josie had disappeared off into the crowd and I was amazed at her self-restraint in a room full of humans. There was no way the Cullens would have put anyone at risk, so they must have been sure in her ability to resist.

I finally managed to pull myself away from my classmates and found Alice who was bouncing happily to the music and refreshing everyone's drinks. She was in her element. "Josie's been accosted by Mike Newton," she informed me after kissing my cheek in greeting and nodding at the large group of boys huddled in the living room. "You may want to rescue her. Oh and I think Jacob's found an admirer." She smirked and wandered off as I rolled my eyes. Of course Jacob had found an admirer in this group – I knew my female classmates too well, and they wouldn't leave a boy with Jacob's appearance alone for long.

I made my way over to the large group of boys, assuming Josie was somewhere in the middle in need of a rescue, but Edward had beaten me to it. He grinned as he saw my approach. "It's moments like these that I wish I couldn't read people's minds," he said with a smile and indicatied the boys.

"Is it uncomfortable?" I asked. "Being able to hear Josie's thoughts?"

He smiled at me. "Strangely, no. After all, she's such an honest person as it is that it doesn't make much difference. And it's nice to know where I stand with her."

I reached over and squeezed his hand gently. "I'm so glad you're happy."

Jacob joined us at that moment, a little out of breath and looking around warily. "That Lauren girl is a handful."

"What happened?"

Edward snorted as Jacob related his encounter with her. "She was like a vulture," he explained. "I felt like a piece of meat, it was awful."

"Oh you poor thing," I laughed sarcastically. "It must be so difficult having gorgeous girls fawning all over you."

"She doesn't hold a flame to you," he said quietly, giving me a private smile, which warmed my insides and made my heart beat faster.

At that moment, Edward must have seen the images that flickered through Jacob's head as he growled warningly and took a step towards the larger boy. "Do you have _any_ idea how dangerous that is?" Edward asked, his voice a low menacing whisper.

"How dangerous what is?" Jacob asked, a tremor running through his body at Edward's tone. I rested my palm on his arm, trying to calm him. Now would not be a good time for him to lose his temper. Josie too seemed to have noticed the situation and got to her feet, hurrying to Edward's side.

"Bella is _human_, dog. You have no idea of your own strength. You could _kill_ her." His voice was low, but the people around us had started to notice the two boys facing each other threateningly and were turning to watch.

"Don't you dare tell me what I should or shouldn't be doing. Just because you had no control, just because you couldn't make love without _killing_ her, doesn't mean that I'm the same."

"Enough," Josie said quietly, her voice quiet but firm. "You are not discussing this anymore, not here."

Edward stood straighter, rising from his defensive stance, and the shivers, which had been steadily mounting in Jacob, stopped instantly.

"Thank you," I said to Josie. "And she's right. Neither of you should be discussing me or what I decide to do. Edward, it's none of your business. I'm a grown woman and I can make these decisions for myself."

He seemed about to retort but Josie shook her head and he fell silent.

"Come on," Jacob said, taking my hand gently. "I think I saw Quil and Embry arrive."

"What were you thinking about to make him so upset?" I asked him quietly once we'd moved away from the others.

"What I always think about," he grinned down at me. "You. And me. Us."

"And sometimes I really wish he wouldn't," Quil grinned at me as he slapped Jacob on the back in greeting. "No offence, Bella, but thinking about you all the time gets a little boring."

"Shut up," Jacob muttered turning pink under his tan and shoving his friend playfully.

"So you're coming to La Push tomorrow for the festival, right?" Embry asked and Quil nodded eagerly. I was about to reply yes, when someone interrupted.

"Bella Swan," an unpleasant nasal voice said. "Great party. I'm surprised so many people came."

"Hey Lauren," I replied trying to smile but failing. Instead I grimaced at her and squeezed Jacob's warm hand for comfort. He was hanging back, clearly terrified by her unwavering attention.

"So are you two like together?" she asked, one perfect eyebrow raised sceptically. "Getting around a bit, aren't you Bella?"

"A girl that good looking can't help having a few admirers. But I guess you wouldn't know that."

I shot Quil a warning look as he openly insulted her. Now was not the time for me to be making enemies. I'd been at school with this girl for a whole year and survived; there was no need for that to change now.

"Right," she replied, looking him up and down and then stalking off.

"Good comeback," Embry muttered. "Is it bad that I'm kinda turned on by her?"

I was amazed when he ran a hand through his hair and followed her through the crowd but the other two boys only sniggered, clearly having witnessed this behaviour in their friend before.

"Ten bucks says he kisses her by the end of the evening," Quil wagered.

"No way I'm betting against that," Jacob replied with a laugh. "It's a done deal!"

We joked around for a little while longer, and I was glad when Angela and Ben found us through the crowd. All in all, the evening turned out to be quite enjoyable, and I realised happily as the night went on that I would never have to give this up. Once upon a time I would have had to leave all of my friends behind, just as I would have had to leave everything human behind, but now it was all different.

I smiled as Jacob and Ben discussed martial arts movies and listened as Angela and Alice, who had appeared out of nowhere, talked about the latest edition of Vogue. Everything had fallen into place and I felt scared that this calm washing over me was the calm before the storm. Things couldn't stay this perfect for long, and I knew a war was coming. I just didn't know when it would arrive and how much longer I would have.

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**Next chapter is already written, let me know if you want it :D thanksss xxxx annie**


	19. Chapter 19

**AN:** Thanks so much for all the reviews - as a present I thought I'd put this chap up quickly :o).

Now if you remember back, Jacob invited Bella to a festival in La Push to celebrate the first full moon of the summer. I've based this on an actual festival in Thailand, where lanterns are lit and the lighters' troubles are supposed to float away with the lantern. For an idea of what this should be like, watch Powderfinger's 'burn your name' music video! Love the song too! Aussie pride! Enjoy! xx

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Two huge bonfires burnt brightly on the beach, which was teeming with people of all ages. Young children ran across the sand, squealing and laughing, some throwing flowers into the air, others playing with lit sparklers. Someone was singing and I heard a guitar playing elsewhere, and many people were busy handing out paper lanterns of various sizes and colours.

I gazed up at the sky where the full moon gleamed brightly in the sky, it's light bouncing off of the waves, making them sparkle and glitter like jewels in a sea of black. Stars illuminated the sky, and the bonfires cast a warm yellow light on the smiling faces around me.

Emily walked over to us, handing me a glass of champagne and smiling warmly. "Congratulations on your graduation."

I smiled and clinked her glass with my own before taking a sip. The cool, fruity liquid tingled in my mouth, and I realised that this was the first time that I'd ever had champagne. Kodak moment. Sam appeared then and handed Jake a beer, condensation dripping from the can. The weather really had warmed up in the last few days, although I wondered how long this could last. Emily and I watched them both nervously as Jacob nodded his thanks.

"You two will light the first lantern," Sam told him, his face unreadable.

Jacob shook his head. "No way, Sam. You were leader of the pack much longer than I was. You deserve that right."

Shaking his head, Sam smiled. "No, Jacob," he said softly. "This is the beginning of a new year for the Quileutes. This means a new leader and a new way of looking at things." He indicated the people on the beach. "We need change and we need to open our minds. You are doing everything for this tribe that I wasn't brave enough to do. Times have changed and we need to change with them." Sam clapped Jacob on the shoulder. "Now drink up, tonight's a celebration."

"Thank you, Sam."

The shorter man nodded his response and changed the topic of conversation to Jacob's sisters.

"Are you enjoying yourself?" Emily asked me quietly as I gazed out to sea, the faint light of the set sun glowing on the horizon.

"Very much," I replied honestly. "Everyone's so welcoming."

"Of course," she laughed, putting an arm around me and squeezing my shoulders. "You're one of us now! And who knows, chieftess of the tribe one day." She laughed. "I just hope you don't mind having a pack of hungry wolves constantly hanging around your house expecting food."

"Well if that's the case, Jacob's going to have to learn how to cook," I replied, my feminist streak coming out. Jacob, overhearing, turned and grinned at me.

"Jake!" Someone called from the water's edge, and Jacob put down his can.

"Come on," he said to me. "We have to light the first lantern." He put his arm around my waist as we strolled to the water's edge, letting the waves lap at our bare feet.

"Why?"

"Tradition," he replied with a soft smile. A young girl came up to me, a white flower in her hand, and Jacob took it from her, tucking it gently behind my ear.

A large group of people had gathered at the water's edge now and someone handed Jacob and me a large, beautifully decorated paper lantern. Sam appeared, holding a lit torch in his hand. He passed it to Jacob who held it carefully to the ring. It caught ablaze and the delicate tissue started to unfurl and expand as hot air filled the structure. I laughed up at Jacob who was grinning, holding the paper carefully away from the fire. The lantern began to tug at our hands but we held on to the fragile ring, waiting for the right moment to release it.

"Get ready," he whispered, meeting my eyes with his own. I smiled happily as the lantern tugged at my fingers, pulling away. Simultaneously we let go and the lantern flew up into the air, taking off over the water. All around us, smaller lanterns began to fly as well, a variety of colours and shapes filling the air with their light.

A cry of exhilaration exploded around us, and the singing became louder. I let out a whoop of joy myself and found Jacob's hand, watching the lights float and soar all around us.

One of the lanterns had been lit haphazardly, the fragile paper too close to the flame. It had caught alight and children shrieked with laughter as they ran to get water to put it out, laughing at the older boys. I noticed Seth was holding the torch and I clapped along with others as he did a mock bow at his failure.

Happiness swelled inside me as I looked around. Quil had young Claire on his shoulders and was pointing at a pink lantern hovering overhead as she laughed and banged on the top of his head with her chubby fists. Sam and Emily were standing close by, his arms wrapped tightly around her as they watched the lights.

Charlie had joined his friends down at the beach also, and he was standing with a beer in hand, talking to Sue Clearwater and Billy, who couldn't venture onto the beach due to his wheelchair. I'd noticed my dad shooting sneaky, smug looks at Jacob and me all evening, and he was clearly glad of the development between us. It was nice to know that Jacob had my father and mother's approval, as Renee had told me before her flight earlier in the day.

A firework whizzed and exploded into the sky, followed by another and another. One hit a lantern as it went up and I whistled along with others as the sky lit up overhead.

Jacob wrapped his arms gently around me, pulling me close into him and kissing the top of my head. I sighed happily, warm and safe in his arms, marvelling at the wonders of the evening. Embry ran past then, splashing us both with cold water as Jared chased after him. I wasn't sure what Embry had stolen but I cheered him on all the same, laughing as he fell face first into the shallow water.

"Come on," Jacob said quietly, "let's get something to eat."

I let him lead me up the beach towards the delicious smell of roasting sausages and we sat in the sand, eating our hot dogs happily, watching lanterns floating lazily out over the water.

"I love you, Bella," he said softly, and I looked over, meeting his eyes. "I love every part of you. Everything about you. I don't want to ever let you go." He reached out, tucking a stray lock of hair behind my ear and kissed me softly, letting his tongue run gently over my bottom lip, begging entrance. I opened my lips and allowed him in, deepening the kiss, exploring his mouth with my own. My fingers knotted in his hair, as he pulled me closer, his hands warm and secure on my back, gently kneading my skin.

Someone wolf-whistled and we broke apart, grinning happily at each other. In that moment, no one else seemed to matter.

Although the night air was warm, I shivered, goose bumps rising on my bare arms. "I don't want this night to end," I admitted, leaning against him and sighing deeply. "It's been so magical."

He got to his feet then and brushed the sand from his shorts, holding his hand out to me. "Come on, I want to show you something."

I laughed and let him drag me up. I'd seen enough wondrous things tonight, I wasn't sure he could possible show me anything else. Together we ran back up the beach into the trees. "Wait here," he said, planting me firmly on the spot and kissing me swiftly. "I'll be right back, and then we're going for a run."

I let him go, smiling after him and true to his word, the large wolf returned seconds later, Jacob's shorts tied to his leg. He bowed down before me and I took my cue, stepping carefully up and throwing my leg over his back. Weaving my fingers into his thick fur, I braced myself for what was to come. He turned his head back to look at me and I nodded. "Ready." With a yelp, he took off into the night and I let exhilaration flood through my body as wind and trees whipped by us, revelling in the speed and adrenaline.

It didn't take long until we'd reached the cliff top Jacob had taken me only a few weeks ago, although it felt much longer looking back now. I slipped from his back and walked carefully to the cliff edge, breathing a sigh of happiness at the sight that met me. We had a view of the beach from up here, the bonfires burning brightly in the distance as the lanterns floated lazily all around. One had even floated towards us and I reached out, pushing it gently back towards the others. Another firework lit the air, directly overhead and I laughed turning to look for Jacob. He stood behind me, his hands in his pockets, his eyes burning brightly in the darkness. A small smile played on his lips as he watched me.

"It's so beautiful," I told him, turning back to the sight before me, unable to tear my eyes away for too long.

"It is," he breathed quietly behind me, and I wasn't sure then if he was talking about me or the picture before us. I held my hand out to him and he took it, standing tall beside me as a warm breeze wafted over us, rippling my hair and dress.

"Oh, hang on," Jacob said. "I brought some blankets up here last time I came. I thought if we ever wanted to go camping… They're in the cave." He hurried off towards the dark gash in the cliff face and came back, his arms filled with folded blankets. He lay two down on a smooth expanse of rock and I sat, letting him drape another around my shoulders.

A nervous tingling filled my body then and I looked at him as he sat next to me, my eyes wide with anticipation. Everything was too perfect. The setting, the moonlight, the atmosphere.

"You're going to make love to me, aren't you?" I asked him quietly, my voice trembling.

He threw his head backwards and laughed, surprised by my blunt question. "Would you honestly believe me if I said that hadn't been my intention?"

I shook my head, feeling a grin creeping onto my face.

"Well I promise it wasn't…originally." He smiled sweetly at me then and held his arm out, letting me slip comfortably against his chest as he cuddled me to him. "I do plan on kissing you quite thoroughly though."

I shivered agreeably and tilted my chin up towards him, meeting his lips with mine. He kissed me softly for a few long moments, his lips gentle, sucking and nibbling at my own. He ran his tongue over my bottom lip while pulling me closer into him. I touched the skin of his chest and he shuddered as my fingers lightly traced the contours of his body. His heart pounded hard against his ribs.

Breaking the kiss briefly, he looked down at me, taking a shaky breath and staring longingly into my face. In the light from the moon, his eyes seemed to glow. He stroked the back of a finger down my cheek and along my jaw before cradling the back of my neck and drawing me in for another kiss. Then he left my lips, trailing kisses across my throat, below my ear and down my neck, sucking gently and making me shiver. I could feel my pulse quicken and a warm pool of desire slowly building inside of me, throbbing gently in my abdomen.

"I love you, Jacob," I whispered drawing his mouth back to mine and leaning backwards, pulling him with me as I lay down on the soft blankets. Letting my hands slip down his back, I pulled him closer into me, pushing my hips upwards as I did so. He moaned deeply and one of his hands dipped lower, his fingers brushing my waist, hips then thigh. He hooked his fingers under my knee and hoisted it up, pressing harder into my core.

I was aware that my dress had ridden up my thighs, but I didn't care, only glad to have Jacob so close to me at that moment. Feeling brave, I traced my fingers across his wide, muscular shoulders and down the contours of his back, feeling him shudder as I stroked his spine. Then I slipped a finger into the waistband of his shorts and he twitched as though an electric current had shot through him.

Pulling back he looked into my eyes, and I was sure the blazing look I gave him matched his own. His mouth opened a little, forming the beginning of a question, but I cut him off, pressing my mouth back to his. He seemed to take conformation from this and slid his hand higher up my leg, pushing my skirt up with it until his fingers came to rest on my butt.

I let out a small involuntarily giggle and I felt him smile through his kisses. "If you want to stop, Bella, just say so," he whispered very quietly and I pulled back a little so I could see his eyes. His smouldering eyes flickered with a hint of concern and I eased him off of me, sitting up. "I'm sorry, did I –" He broke off as I felt for the hem of my dress and pulled it up over my head, discarding the garment carelessly.

His breath came out in a low whistle as his eyes flitted slowly down my body. A blush crept up my face as he openly stared. He seemed to hesitate then reached out, placing his hand on my waist and drawing me into him. Words were unnecessary as he kissed my lips, nose, cheeks and jaw working his way down my neck and along my collar bone as I threw my head back, letting a small moan escape from parted lips.

I wanted him so badly that every fibre of my being seemed to be screaming, begging to pull him even closer, kiss him harder. His fingers had found the clasp of my bra and with a twist and a sharp ping the catch snapped off in his fingers, the material ripping.

I yelped, flinching at the brief pain but had to grin at Jacob's mortified expression.

"Use less force next time, silly, it wasn't welded shut," I said with a smile as I let the material fall away from my body, and placed it with the discarded dress.

His embarrassment seemed quickly forgotten however as he gazed at my mostly naked body.

"Beautiful," he murmured, leaning in and kissing me, taking me in his warm mouth, exploring my skin. I groaned as his fingers explored the curve of my side, traced along my hip and slid down my thigh as his mouth continued its gentle ministrations on my breasts. I felt goose bumps rise on my skin at his every touch and a soft, strangled whimper escaped from my throat.

I gasped and my eyes flew open as his fingers slid between my legs, caressing me over the remaining fabric. Jacob's eyes bore into my own, filled with love, lust and a small amount of fear. Smiling, I nodded my encouragement and his finger slipped under the seam of my undies, pulling them carefully away from my skin, down my legs, and discarding them also.

My breathing had become uneven and I felt more exposed then I ever had done before, with Jacob taking in every inch of my body in wide-eyed wonder. He pulled me close to him then, cradling me in my arms as his fingers renewed their exploration and I exhaled heavily at the feel of his touch on my bare skin. I lay in his arms, letting myself relax and enjoy his gentle touch. Soft sounds escaped from my lips, shivers coursed through my body and I cried out as he slipped a finger inside of me.

"Jake," I whispered, letting the sweet taste of his name fall from my tongue, begging him for something more. A part of me knew that I should be doing more – touching him, making him feel as incredible as I did in that moment, but I selfishly lay there, enjoying every sensation created by the movement of his fingers.

The worrying thought that he seemed to know what he was doing flicked through my head but I quickly pushed that to the side, and instead reached for the waistband of his shorts, tugging them down. Raising his hips, he helped me take them off, kicking them to the side – he wasn't wearing boxers. With a deep breath I let myself look down and exhaled hard at the sight that met me.

"Jacob," I whispered, unable to hide the fear that now flooded me.

"What's wrong?" he asked, pulling away from me to gaze concerned at my face.

"That's never going to fit," I said, ashamed as my voice cracked and wavered.

"Oh, baby," he soothed, pulling me into his arms and kissing the top of my head. "Honey we don't have to do anything you don't want to."

"But I _do_ want to," I protested.

"Then I promise to be gentle."

We lay cuddled together for a little while longer, Jacob gently stroking my arm, trying to soothe my fears.

"I can't believe we're lying here naked together," he whispered. "It's everything I've ever dreamed of."

It was as though we had left the world behind, retreated to our own small piece of heaven where the only things that existed were each other and the stars. But as always, reality came crashing back down.

My phone rang.

"No," Jacob groaned, gripping me tighter. "Ignore it, babe, please."

I was very tempted by his words, but my sense of logic intruded in my hazy mind. I knew that no one would be calling unless it was important.

"Sorry, love," I whispered, gently extracting myself from his arms and reaching for my small bag, digging around in the contents until my fingers found the intrusive, buzzing object. I flipped it open and Alice's frantic voice met my ears.

"Bella, I've had a vision."

I sat up and glanced over at Jacob, who had stiffened at her words, his eyebrows furrowed.

"She's coming."

My blood turned cold at her words, and a dull ringing sounded in my ears. Luckily, Jacob took the phone from my numb fingers and I tucked my head between my knees, trying to keep off the rush of nausea that I had come to associate with blood.

"What's happening?" he asked, his voice business-like. I couldn't hear her response as I didn't posses Jacob's super hearing abilities but I tried to understand the following conversation from Jacob's occasional grunt and monosyllabic responses. Needless to say I wasn't particularly successful.

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**Please leave a review! I love every one, and as you can see they really do make me update faster! **


	20. Chapter 20

**AN**: Yikes. Stupidly forgot to update, even though this has been written for awhile. So oops, feel free to smack me and hope you enjoy.

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The night air had cooled down and I shivered despite Jacob's sweater wrapped around my shoulders. Eight werewolves stood around me as an equal number of vampires faced us from across the clearing. I shivered again. The large red brown wolf, who I recognised as easily as I did the boy inside, nudged me with his shoulder and I reached a hand up to stroke his fur gently.

Alice had informed Jacob that Victoria would be coming to Forks on Tuesday, in less than 48 hours, and they were to intercept her army here in this clearing. Nausea swelled inside of me as I imagined the danger my two extended families would be in. I didn't know whether they were outnumbered or not, but it didn't matter to me. How could they possibly come out of this without casualties? How could I possibly let my friends fight for me? Get hurt for me? God forbid, die for me?

I just wanted to be back on top of the cliff top where Jacob and I had been only hours ago, where nothing in the world could touch us. I hoped Jacob was managing to control his thoughts better than I was at that moment, as I didn't want the rest of the werewolf pack and Edward to know what we'd been up to mere hours ago.

Jasper was speaking, instructing the others in the best way to fight newborns but I wasn't paying attention. I picked a flower that had been growing in the cracks of the large rock I was sitting on and slowly pulled off the petals, one at a time. This was all happening because of me.

An army was coming to this clearing, too close to Forks for my liking, all because of me; because I existed. My friends were going to _die_ because of me.

Suddenly I knew what I had to do. How could I, in any good conscience, let other people risk their lives just so that I could survive? That didn't make sense. I wasn't that important. No, this fight couldn't happen. It wouldn't take place.

For the moment that was as far as I would let myself think. I had the problem of Alice to deal with, and if I was going to change the events of the future I'd have to do it sneakily; one step at a time so that she couldn't see what I was doing.

Instead I focused all my attention on Jasper, occasionally stroking Jacob's fur for comfort. A pang of grief washed through me as I thought of leaving Jacob behind, but what choice did I have? It was me or him and I wasn't about to let Jacob get killed.

Dimly in the back of my brain I drew a connection between my leaving Jacob and Edward's leaving me, but I tried to push that away. This was different. I wasn't going to pretend that I didn't love Jacob anymore; I would never do that to him.

But was it really all that different?

I must have dozed off at some point during the night as I awoke hours later in an unfamiliar room. I blinked rapidly, trying to clear my eyes, and a poster of a motorcycle loomed out of the dark. Jacob's room. But there were no soft snores coming from beside me.

I suddenly felt very alone in that moment. And that's when I realised that this would be the best time to act. Without letting myself think I jumped out of bed, pulled on my clothes and hurried from the room, trying to keep quiet so as not to wake up Billy. Luckily I'd driven down to La Push earlier that evening, so my truck was still parked out front and I hopped into the driver's seat, praying silently that the roar of my engine didn't wake anyone. It was deafening in the quiet night air, and my hands shook as I crunched the gearstick into drive.

One step at a time. I couldn't think any further than that.

Haphazardly, I reversed out of Jacob's place, threw a frantic u-turn and then I was off, driving down the road out of La Push. I quickly wound down my window, hoping the fresh night air would stave off the waves of panic coming thick and fast.

Coming to a crossroads, I indicated and turned left on to the 101, heading north. As hard as I tried not to think of where I was going, where this road would take me, I couldn't help but picture Victoria, her red eyes gleaming in delight as I found her, offered myself to her.

The thought of what I was really doing made me feel so nauseous that I had to stop the car. I shoved open the door just in time and threw up on the grass by the side of the road. Wiping a shaky hand over my mouth I gave myself a second, and no longer, to recover.

Was I far enough out of town yet to plan what I was going to do? I didn't even know where in Seattle she was. I had no plan but to turn up and drive down to the docks where frequent disappearances had occurred. Hopefully my scent would be enough. And I would stay in Seattle until she found me.

**Jacob's POV**

She'd fallen asleep not long after midnight, resting her head against my shoulder, one hand still tangled in my fur. She seemed so peaceful, too peaceful for me to wake her. For once, and the only time in my life, I was glad the bloodsucker could read my thoughts.

"I can carry her back if you'd like," he offered quietly. I noticed he was holding the newborn vampire's hand and she nodded encouragingly. Maybe that was the only reason why I agreed.

I tried hard not to growl as he picked her up gently and trotted off towards the forest. I ran hard alongside him, keeping up easily. If someone had told me two months ago that I'd be running alongside vampires, I never would have believed them.

Edward snorted a laugh at this. "Unlikely allies, aren't we?"

_I think we'd do anything to protect this girl._

"True," he agreed.

The pack's mind was churning with everything we had just learnt from the vamps. The battle wasn't far off now, and as a pack we felt prepared to take on our enemy. A part of me didn't want to lead them into this battle. It should have been Sam's job after all, not mine.

_I'll be here to support you, brother,_ Sam said, hearing my doubts. _But you will be fine; you know what to do. You were born with this ability to lead_.

Gratitude washed through me and I felt my pack brothers flickering out of consciousness as one-by-one they reached their homes. Jared, Paul, Sam and I would be continuing our patrols around La Push tonight, although we weren't too concerned about the red-head getting through. We had to trust Alice knew what she was talking about.

We reached the border, but Edward continued on, knowing that if I changed shape here it would take me an hour to walk back to mine, carrying Bella. I was grateful for this small action, wanting Bella safely at home in my bed, as soon as possible.

I didn't want to leave her alone tonight, she'd been so quiet all evening, and I wanted to talk to her about what had nearly happened on the cliff.

_Gross, Jake, stop_, came Leah's haughty voice as yet again my mind flickered to the scene on the cliff top. I was grateful Edward didn't comment. I assumed he was still under strict orders from Josie not to mention it.

He growled at this. "I don't take _orders_ from Josie, thank you very much. I merely recognise that you two have the right to do as you please." We approached the house. "However, if I find out you've hurt her, I will happily kill you."

I changed shape in front of him, not wanting to take my eyes off of Bella. "I won't hurt her," I said, controlling my anger for once. I knew what it felt like to love Bella, to want to protect her more than anything else in this world. I understood his fears.

He nodded once and handed me my sleeping girl. We both grinned as she stirred in her sleep and mumbled incoherently.

"I'll see you tomorrow night, then."

"Sure," I replied, turning and heading for the house. I wished Bella didn't have to be so close to the fighting action, but it was the only way that made sense. If she were to stay down here in La Push, then we would be too far away to help if she needed it. We had to keep her close to the fight, but out of harm's way.

Gently, I lay her down on my bed and tucked the blankets in around her. I so badly wanted to crawl in beside her but instead allowed myself a moment to kiss her softly on the lips. "I'll be back soon," I whispered and left.

Patrolling was uneventful, as expected. Paul and Jared kept trying to wheedle details out of my controlled thoughts and every so often they'd succeed and another image would slip out.

_Stop it,_ Sam finally ordered and I didn't know whether they were simply used to obeying him or if he still held some authoritative power, but they stopped. Finally Quil and Embry slipped into my consciousness and I gratefully made my way home, shifting just before I ran up the steps. I should have realised then that something wasn't right. First of all, her huge truck wasn't where she'd left it in the driveway. I couldn't hear her steady heartbeat or smell her intoxicating scent. None of these things seemed to register though, until I stepped into my bedroom and saw the empty bed. I pressed a hand to the indent she'd left in the centre of my mattress, but it was cold.

I tried hard not to let panic wash over me. There was no scent of vampire, so she hadn't been taken. It was quite possible she'd just woken up and had decided to go home so that Charlie wouldn't worry - she didn't know that Charlie had crashed on Sue's sofa for the night.

I swore. Trust Bella. Suddenly I heard someone crash through my front door.

"Jacob!" It was Quil. "Jake, Sam's just seen Bella's truck driving out of town."

I almost phased right then and there. Somehow, although I'll never know how I did it, I managed to restrain myself and ran from the house, phasing as I leaped off of the porch and flew into the forest, my feet barely touching the ground as I ran. The pack's voice filled my head and I followed the path Sam gave me. Leaf litter flew up around me as I sprinted through the trees, dodging low hanging branches and leaping over tree roots. Animals flew from my path as I tore through the forest, running faster than I ever had before. I could feel Bella's pull getting stronger by the second as I focused in on it. I had never used the pull of my imprint to find her before, and I was amazed that I had this ability to do so now.

Being so intent on finding her, on stopping her, I hadn't yet let myself think about what she was doing. Why was she driving out of town? I thought I might know the answer to that question. Of course Bella wouldn't want others to risk their lives for her. Of course she'd feel guilty. If only we'd put the newborn Josie's powers to use: forced Bella to stay safe, to not go making any stupid, idiotic self-sacrificing decisions.

The burst of anger spurred me forward and finally my paws hit tarmac, her truck visible now, heading towards me. I'd cut her off. Her headlights flashed into my eyes and I turned my head from the bright lights, hoping she'd see me before she crashed. I phased. I couldn't yell as efficiently in dog form.

**Bella's POV**

I flicked my headlights onto high beam, sure I wouldn't meet any cars at this time of night. As I did so, a shape loomed out of the darkness. Fear rushed through me and I was sure this was it. I'd found her. I'd found Victoria.

I slowed down, knowing it would only do damage to my car if I hit her at this speed. However as I slowed, I knew this wasn't right. The shape was too big, too solidly set. I crept closer and my headlights suddenly illuminated the object clearly in front of me.

It wasn't a vampire.

It was a very big, very angry, very naked werewolf.

Shaking, I forced myself to open the door and step out into the cold night air. The temperature seemed to have dropped twenty degrees since sunset and I tried to convince myself that my shakes were due to the cold and not to Jacob. I could see him shaking also, but I _knew_ this was anger.

"What the hell were you thinking?" he demanded, still standing ten metres from me. "Where were you going?"

I didn't answer his question. "I'm not going to let all my friends die for me."

"We're not going to die, Bella! How could you do this? Did you honestly think that you would just turn up in Seattle and that would be it?"

"I don't know, Jacob, but I wasn't going to sit around here and do nothing, either!" I yelled back at him, taking a step closer.

"Don't!" he shouted, throwing his hands up and taking a step away from me "I can't…I'm too angry. I can't control myself."

I froze, watching as he tried to compose himself. The tremors shaking his body slowed and nearly stopped.

"How dare you do this to me?" he snarled. "Do you have any idea what losing you would have meant?"

"It's better than losing _you_!" I insisted. "It's better than losing everyone I care about. She wants _me_, Jacob. Just me. So why would I put everyone else's life at risk?"

"YOU DON'T HAVE THE RIGHT TO MAKE THAT CHOICE!" he yelled, his voice so loud it hurt my ears. "You don't get to make that decision, you don't get to decide who wants to protect you! Bella, I would rather be dead than have to live without you. You of all people should know what it feels like to be left behind."

That stung. I took a step backwards and looked down at my clenched hands. Within seconds he was at my side, pulling me into his arms.

"You can't just put yourself in danger like this, Bella," he said softly, his voice quiet now. "Think about it. Do you really think she would have stopped? And what about the army she created? They'd still need to be destroyed. Bella, I understand you feel guilty about all this, but you've done nothing wrong. You shouldn't have to die because a vindictive vampire is out to hurt Edward."

I looked up into his face then, and saw he actually had tears in his eyes.

"Bella, please don't leave me like that again. _Please_."

I shook my head, reaching up and stroking his face, feeling tears prick at my eyes also. "I'm so sorry," I whispered. "Jacob, I'm so sorry."

We held on to each other for a long time, clinging together as though afraid something would pull us apart. The icy wind picked up and I shivered in the cold, grateful for Jacob's arms warm arms around me. Simultaneously, Jacob stiffened, his whole body going rigid.

"Bella," he breathed, his voice nearly inaudible. "Get back in your truck. Now."

"What, why?"

"Vampires. Dozens of them. It's burning my nose." He was rubbing it hard, clearly in discomfort.

My blood turned cold. The change in wind must have brought their scent our way.

"Call the Cullens, now." He was walking me back towards my truck, speaking very quickly. "These vamps are still a couple of kilometres away, but there's a chance they might smell us. Call the Cullens and get them to come now. I'm going to get in touch with the rest of the pack. We might be able to catch them unaware before they know you're here."

Fear gripped me as I got in the truck and Jacob began to head off towards the woods. I so desperately didn't want to be left alone, but I knew this was a matter of life and death. Either we surprised them, or they surprised us. I flipped open my new phone, so glad I had charged it the day before. I hit the speed dial for Edward's number and he answered after the first ring.

"Bella, what's happening? Alice has just lost all visions of the newborns."

"They're here, Edward. We've found them."

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Thanks! Please review!


	21. Chapter 21

Hello my dears. So I took a little break from writing, been super busy then come back to find I have nearly 200 reviews! Thank you all so much, especially **jharv241** – it must have taken you so long to review each chapter and I can't tell you how much I appreciate it! Thank you so much! Anyway, realised I'd been a bad authored, so hurried to finish this chapter off, and will upload the next as soon as possible. Enjoy!

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"There are about twenty of them, two kilometres from here. They're camped in an abandoned cabin for now, and there's no scent of Victoria around at all." Carlisle paced the clearing as he spoke. "So far they haven't made any moves to attack, so –"

"We're not waiting," Jacob interjected. "I understand why you are unwilling to ambush your own kind but these newborns were created with the intention to kill. We must destroy them."

Carlisle didn't look happy but eventually he nodded. "Now, they're going to want to go for Bella –"

"Excellent, a distraction," someone muttered from behind me. I recognised the voice as Leah's, but she was quickly put in her place by a snarl from both Jacob and Edward.

"What I was going to say," Carlisle continued calmly, "is that we'll need to find a safe distance for Bella to wait. Plus, she'll need someone to protect her there, just in case a few newborns slip past us."

"No!" I protested. "No way, they outnumber you as it is, I'm not going to let you weaken yourselves further just to baby-sit me. I'll be fine."

"Bella, we're still counting on Victoria to join them, but what if she doesn't? What if she gets around us and finds you?" Alice looked fearful at the thought, and I hung my head, hating that I couldn't do anything to help.

"And besides, it will be more fun if we have a couple more newborns each. I've already got a bet going with Jasper that I'll get five of them, and I can't manage that if I have a whole bunch of wolves in my way now can I?" Emmett winked at me. A few of the Quileute boys growled in irritation, but said nothing.

"I'll stay with her," Jacob volunteered, squeezing my hand.

"No, Jacob," Sam said quietly from his place on Jacob's right. "You're going to be needed out there."

Jacob looked at him pleadingly. "Can't you?"

Sam just shook his head and said nothing.

"Seth then," Jacob said finally and the younger boy scowled. Clearly he didn't want to miss the battle but he didn't seem outspoken (or stupid) enough to defy his Alpha's instructions.

"And I'll stay too," Edward said quietly. "It makes sense. That way I can converse with the wolves and I will be able to hear if anyone is approaching."

I smiled gratefully at him and he returned it with a warm smile of his own.

"Good. Now there's an excellent spot about a kilometre south of here. If we leave Bella against the rocky cliff face there, the wind won't reach her and her scent won't be blown north."

I felt like a child. I hated being so helpless and yet there was nothing I could do here. I would forever be a weak human, never being able to fully contribute to anything. For the first time, I felt like an outsider.

"I'll carry her," Edward began but I cut him off before Jacob had a chance to protest.

"No, my truck's just down the road. If we take that there'll be less scent right?"

Hesitating, Edward nodded.

"And Seth, if you could ride in the back?"

He looked grumpy but agreed all the same.

"We'd better get going then," Edward said. "Keep the wolves informed, I'll be able to see if anything happens." He turned to leave but Jacob grabbed his arm.

"Thank you," he said quietly. The two boys shared a significant look before Edward nodded and walked away. I wondered what words had gone unspoken. "Be careful," Jacob instructed me, glaring hard into my face. "Whatever happens, don't go playing the hero, Bella. Please."

I cupped his cheek in my hand and kissed him gently, but he pulled me flush up against him, deepening the kiss so it was fierce, almost desperate. He clung to me briefly then let me go, kissing me on the forehead as I left.

I could just make out the words he mouthed before I turned and followed Edward into the awaiting darkness. "I love you too," I whispered back, knowing Jacob would hear.

Neither Edward nor I said much in the car ride to our hiding spot. I was sure he'd rather be with his family and Josie right now, fighting, than stuck here with me, but I didn't say anything and neither did he. I parked my car off of the highway, partly concealed between some trees.

Seth had changed into his large wolf form, and he trotted ahead of us in the darkness setting a fast pace. Branches and tree roots seemed to jump out at me from the dark surroundings and Edward had to pull me to my feet so many times that eventually he gave up and took my hand, leading me carefully through the thick forest. It was strange, feeling his icy cold fingers wrapped around mine when I was so used to the burning warmth of Jacob. Finally we reached our location. Before us, a vast expanse of rock sheered vertically into the night sky, looming menacingly above us.

The night air was getting colder and colder and I'd had the sense to bring some matches from the glove compartment and set about collecting dry pieces of wood in order to make a fire. When my work was done, and small flames licked at the dead branches, I settled down against the cliff to wait. Edward had been watching me work and smiled at me over the fire.

"What's wrong?" he asked, reading my face easily.

"I hate feeling like this," I confided in him. "I feel useless Edward. I hate being such a burden."

"You're not a burden," he said sternly. Seth nudged me with his shoulder, clearly trying to argue with me also. I lent against him gratefully, glad for the extra warmth.

"Sorry you can't be out there fighting as well," I said, stroking his shaggy head. "I don't know why, but you all seem to think it's fun." Seth merely yawned in response.

We all sat in silence for a while, watching the branches crackle and burn in the flames. My stomach grumbled and I tried to remember when I'd last eaten. The hot dog at the beach. It felt like years ago, although it had only been a matter of hours. It amazed me how life could change so suddenly. How a beautiful evening could be turned into a fight to the death.

Cold light began to filter through the trees as dawn arrived, and I yawned, not feeling sleepy but clearly exhausted after the night's events.

"I'm sorry for losing my temper on Saturday," Edward said quietly, breaking the silence. "It wasn't my place."

"It's fine," I assured him, a little embarrassed to be discussing this.

"I suppose I still see you as this fragile person who needs protecting above everything else." He looked ashamed. "That was my biggest downfall I think. Trying to protect you from everything including myself. Including yourself sometimes."

"Well, you didn't exactly protect me from myself," I said with a smile. "I was my worst enemy for a while after you left."

His eyes were filled with remorse as he looked at me. "I am glad you have Jacob now. He treats you as his equal. You're his best friend."

I smiled. "And he's mine. We just kind of _get_ each other, you know?"

He laughed and nodded. "Strangely enough, yes. I've been able to see you through Jacob's eyes lately and he understands you much better than I did. To me you were perfection. To him you're…Bella."

I noticed his use of past tense and I would be lying if I said it didn't hurt a little bit.

"And what about Josie?" I asked, not sure whether I really wanted to know.

He looked down at his hands. I was sure if he'd had any blood, he'd be blushing. "She's quite unique. She seems so kind-hearted and pure, but at the same time she's so headstrong and…how to describe it…mischievous maybe. You should see the jokes she plays on Emmett and the seemingly effortless way she has just slipped into our lives."

"It sounds like you're in love," I mused, not meeting his eyes, but gazing into the dying embers of the fire. I wasn't sure what I wanted to hear in response. I wanted him to be happy, and it sounded as though Josie made him happy. But loving someone other than me? My inner-narcissist didn't like that.

"We kissed the other day," he confided in me quietly, and I grinned in spite of myself.

"Yes?"

"It was strange. She's only the second person I've ever kissed, and it was so different. We didn't have to hold back."

I raised my eyebrows and he shot me a withering look.

"Get your mind out of the gutter, Bella, we're not quite at the same stage as you and Jacob."

It was my turn to blush. "I thought you couldn't read my mind."

"I do still know you well." He sat up straight then, as did Seth, and his face turned serious. "It's starting."

He gazed off into the distance, no longer seeing the forest around us, but focusing in on the thoughts of the others. "The newborns are leaving the house. They've just walked out. Jacob is directing his brothers in from the West. My family's coming from the East. They're wrapping around to form an ambush. Oh here we go, the newborns smell something. They're afraid. Ok, it's started! Emmett and Jasper took the first hit. Oh three down. The wolves are running. No, Embry and Quil from the left, go for the big one."

It was as if Edward was reciting Seth's trail of consciousness, repeating what he heard, seeing what the wolves could see. I sat up straight, my hands gripping my knees tightly, waiting to hear that someone had been hurt.

Newborn after newborn was taken down. Jacob, Sam and Paul were all involved in bringing down an older vampire, one they believed to be the leader. But still no sign of Victoria.

Surely she would arrive once she knew her army was being attacked? Or would that make her run? Was she even now making her way back to Seattle?

My questions were answered when Seth suddenly snarled and shot to his feet. I followed his gaze and found what had started him. Between two trees, glaring at me with a furious vengeance, stood Victoria.

My heart skipped a beat.

"As I expected," Victoria said with a sneer, her eyes flicking from Edward to me. After all of this time fearing her I had expected her voice to be that of a monster but instead it was light and melodic. "And here I find you, hiding away from the fight, letting others do that for you."

"Look who's talking," Edward said, rising to his feet and positioning himself in front of me. "Created an army lately?"

She sneered. "And look how well that worked. Now your family's distracted and I have the two of you all to myself."

Seth snarled to my right and we all turned to look at him. Clearly he didn't want to be forgotten.

"Get out of here, Seth," Edward said. "I can take her, just get out of here."

He shook his head, glaring determinedly at the red-eyed vampire, a rumbling growl building within him. Victoria ignored him.

"Look at her, so pathetic, cowering behind you like the coward she is."

I moved to step around him, but he knew me too well and shot a hand out to stop me. "Do you really think your words are going to make a difference now, Victoria? Look what you've done. Do you honestly have no humanity in you? Is this what James would have wanted?"

Her beautiful face twisted into a mask of rage. "Don't you dare say his name. You have no right! You took him from me, and now I'm going to take her. And I will enjoy watching you suffer as I torture her."

I laughed – a completely irrational and maybe hysterical thing to do. "You've got it wrong," I said. "Don't you understand? Things have changed since you've been around here. I'm not his mate, Victoria. Killing me isn't going to torture him. Your whole plan was for nothing."

She glared at us, then smiled. "You're lying."

"No, she's not." Josie walked out of the tree line, her hands clasped gently together, her eyes focused on Victoria. "I'm his mate. So if you want to hurt someone, it should be me."

"No!" I screamed as Edward's hand shot out towards her, clearly torn between protecting me and protecting Josie.

Victoria turned her attention away from us to look at Josie, her mouth opening incredulously. And in that split second when her attention wavered, Seth attacked. He flew threw the air, launching himself at her, and tackling her to the ground, his teeth flashing in the morning light. She struggled to wrap her arms around his body but he'd pinned them down. Instead she used her legs, flicking them upwards, catching them under Seth's huge body and kicking him hard. He flew through the air towards us, and I stumbled out of the way, tripping over the ground as I did so, bashing my own head into the jagged rock. Seth hit the cliff face only feet away from me and fell to the ground, where he lay, still as death.

Simultaneously, Edward had already rushed forward and there was an almighty crash as their bodies collided. I knelt beside Seth's body, trying to look for injuries. His chest was moving, his breathing slow. But he was at least breathing. I pushed my sweaty hair away from my eyes and drew my hand away and it was wet with blood, not sweat. I had obviously hit my head harder than I realised.

There was a sharp, piercing ripping sound from behind me, as though a sheet of metal had been torn in two. I turned to see Edward biting into Victoria's neck, ripping her body apart. I couldn't watch and instead looked for Josie.

She was standing a hundred metres away, her eyes fixed on me, all trace of humanity gone from her face.

She'd smelt my blood. And she wanted it.

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Ah the cliffhangers...how I love them. Please review and let me know what you think! xx


	22. Chapter 22

**AN:** Once again, I can't believe the amazingly positive feedback I received last chapter, so another big thank you to all my incredible reviewers. I hope you enjoy this chapter, the next few are going to be a little bit fluffy I think (holiday time for our poor over-stressed characters!) Enjoy!

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"Bella, don't move." It was Edward. He had thrown Victoria's torn body parts into the dying flames and was now staring at Josie, his body tensed.

"It's okay, Bella," Josie said quietly, ignoring Edward and taking a step towards me. I felt myself relax a little, believing in her that everything would be okay. "I don't want to hurt you."

Her red eyes gleamed hungrily, a dangerous expression on her face. Part of my brain knew I should be afraid, but for some reason I wasn't.

"Bella, stay back!" Edward cautioned, now taking a hesitant step towards his newest family member.

"I'm so sorry, Bella. But you see, I don't want to kill you. After all, you're one of my best friends." She looked confused for a moment. "I really don't want to kill you, but I so badly want to drink you. Do you understand?"

I found myself nodding. Of course it made sense. I had so much blood, would it really hurt me any more if I let her have some? I knew she wouldn't kill me; she was Josie. She had an unexplainable love for humans. I trusted her and took a step forwards.

I hadn't noticed Seth come to until his jaws closed gently around my upper arm. He was growling quietly, not wanting to bite down any harder for fear of drawing more blood.

"Get her out of here now Seth!" Edward yelled before he launched himself at Josie, crashing into her and pinning her to the ground, his face a mask of devastation and fury.

"No, it's fine," I tried to explain, but Seth was pulling on my arm now, hurting me where his teeth threatened to break my skin. "Seth let go, I'm fine."

He pulled me harder, actually dragging me along as he backed out of the clearing, away from the wrestling vampires. A sense of confusion washed over me. Then from nowhere, a realisation of what was happening hit me and I scrambled to my feet, trying to pull my arm from Seth's grasp as we struggled backwards.

"Can I ride you?" I asked him breathlessly and sensing that I wouldn't run back to the clearing, he released my arm and nodded. I spun and leapt onto his back, gripping his fur tightly and bending low as he sprinted through the forest and away from Edward and Josie. I noticed he was taking me back towards the others, and I assumed the fight was over. My head reeled with the series of events that had just taken place. I didn't have time to feel elation at the death of Victoria, or betrayal from Josie. She was still a newborn after all, she didn't know any better.

The fact that she had managed to resist throwing herself onto me and killing me right there while I was openly bleeding showed me that she still had the ability to control herself. But hadn't she tried to manipulate me into giving her my blood? Was that really her fault?

I gave up trying to figure this out, and instead focused my attention on our destination. I was scared as to what I would find there. How many of my friends had been hurt? I wouldn't even let myself think of the possibility that some had been killed.

Finally we burst through the tree line into a clearing and sickly sweet smoke filled my nostrils. I half fell off of Seth's back and Alice caught me, hugging me tightly.

"It's ok," she grinned, pushing my sweaty hair out of my eyes. "It's fine Bella, no one got hurt!"

A howl ripped through the air in that moment and all of the wolves appeared, crowding around us.

"Bella, where's Edward? What's happening?" Alice looked confused, looking around warily at the aggressive stances of the eight werewolves.

"Um," I began, not sure how to explain. I found Jacob in the mass of wolves, his eyes livid and scared. "Jacob?"

In that instant, as my voice wavered on his name, he phased, his huge form rising above his brothers. His human face was angrier than I'd ever seen it.

"Where are they now?" He asked me, his voice trembling with fury as he yanked on his shorts. Sensing his obvious anger, Sam phased too and rested a hand on Jacob's shoulder in an attempt to calm him.

"I don't know where they are, but Jake please don't overreact."

"Overreact?" He snarled. Clearly he'd already received all the information from Seth, a firsthand witness to Josie's abuse of power. "She tried to kill you."

"She's only a newborn," I exclaimed, looking around me for support. The Cullens merely looked shocked and I knew they deserved an explanation. "I was bleeding," I exclaimed, touching the dried blood on my forehead, glad that the sickening smell of smoke would mask the smell of my blood. "Josie was right next to me and smelt it. But she didn't attack like any other newborn would have. She didn't want to kill me."

"So she tried to manipulate Bella into letting her drink Bella's blood," Sam said coldly, glaring at the Cullens.

"Where are they now?" Esme asked, her face twisted in emotional pain. "Where are they Bella?"

I opened my mouth to answer but a familiar voice beat me to it.

"We're here."

I spun around and saw Edward, standing at the tree line, an arm thrown out protectively in front of Josie, who looked wretched. Both were covered in dirt and twigs, their clothes ripped.

"YOU BROUGHT HER HERE?" Jacob yelled, his body convulsing in anger. I took a step away. "She just tried to _kill_ Bella, and you bring her _here_?"

"No, stop!" I cried out, feeling hot tears at my eyes. "I know she shouldn't have used her powers like that, but she didn't mean to. She's a newborn. Everyone makes mistakes. Look at you Jacob, when you became a werewolf you didn't speak to me for three weeks. And Jasper who tried to attack me last year. And look at Sam and Emily."

Sam flinched as though I had slapped him. Shock and grief simultaneously marred his face and I knew I had gone too far, but I couldn't stop. I had to prove to them that everyone made mistakes.

"Josie never hurt me."

"Don't defend me, Bella," Josie said quietly, and I knew if she could cry there would be tears dripping down her face. "What I did was unforgivable, I don't know what came over me. I deserve to be killed. Let them kill me."

The werewolves moved forwards, but I ran out in front of them, holding my arms up.

"Please _stop_!" I glared at Jacob, sobbing as I begged him. "Stop them, Jacob, _please_."

"Stop," he said quietly, speaking to the wolves but looking directly at me. His expression clearly told me he saw this as betrayal. I knew even then that I shouldn't have asked him to go against his brothers, to go against his nature like this, but I had no choice. I hated that I was the cause of the agony and pain behind his eyes. But what choice did I have?

"Wait," Alice spoke, her eyes blank. "We don't have time for this now. It's the Volturi, they're coming."

There was commotion as everyone began to speak at once.

"The wolves have to get out of here. The Volturi can't know of their existence!" Carlisle insisted, speaking to Jacob.

"It's too late," Edward said. "They're too close."

"Then Josie," Carlisle spoke. "If you're strong enough, can you convince the Volturi they're not there?"

Her face still pained, she nodded. "I think so."

"Sam and I will phase," Jacob said. "Edward can communicate for us if necessary."

Edward nodded and within moments, two more large wolves filled the ranks. I wanted Jacob to come to me, tell me everything would be all right, but he stood with his brothers, not looking my way. Edward was holding tight to Josie's hand as she took deep breaths, steadying herself. I suddenly realised I was standing here alone, about to face my worst nightmare. The Volturi would see I was still human and they would kill me.

I let out a very small, involuntary whimper and within a split second, the large russet wolf was standing beside me and Alice had slipped her hand into mine. I wasn't alone after all.

"We'll be ok, Bella," she said as a group of hooded figures became apparent through the trees.

"Don't attack them, Jacob, please? Make sure the others don't; no matter what they do or how much they deserve it. These vampires are very old, and they have reinforcements."

He simply nudged me with his head and I hoped that was in agreement. I tangled my fingers in the fur of his neck, needing to be close to him in that moment.

The figures became clearer, two smaller cloaked vampires leading the way and I was sure at once of who these two were – Jane and Alex. I recoiled a little, my stomach twisting in terror and loathing.

"Well, well," came a high-pitched, girlish voice, and Jane's angelic features came into sight as she lowered her dark hood. "What do we have here?"

"Welcome, Jane," Carlisle said courteously, his tone cool.

"Shape-shifters, Carlisle? We thought you had better taste."

"There are no shape shifters here," Josie said, her voice surprisingly strong as she spoke to the Volturi for the first time.

Jane blinked as a sense of assurance washed over me for the second time that day. I looked around yet there was not a single wolf in sight. Dimly I wondered where they'd gone, but my brain was unable to hold onto this thought for long before I turned back to the conversation.

"Well, it seems as though you have done our work for us, Carlisle," Jane said quietly, looking at the burning piles scattered around the clearing. "I am quite impressed. What came of the creator?"

"I dealt with her," Edward said, stepping forward but still not letting go of Josie's hand.

Jane's eyes flickered from Edward to Josie and then to me. She smiled dangerously. "And the human girl was the key to all of this?"

"Victoria held a grudge against her," Carlisle explained, his voice steady.

Jane raised an eyebrow. "I see. Well, there isn't much left for us to do here. We must return to Italy. Cauis will be interested to hear that you are still human, Isabella Swan. And Aro will be most interested in the newest member of your coven – so interested I dare say they wouldn't mind paying you all a visit in the very near future."

I shuddered.

"I'll give Aro your regards, Carlisle," Jane said, nodding at him while her red eyes flicked back to me.

"Please do," Carlisle said, but his voice was cold and hard, no trace of a smile on his face.

"Come," Jane spoke, and the other cloaked figures followed as she left the clearing.

ooo

The lights of a passing car shone dimly through the crack in my curtains, illuminating my wall for a split second before fading into darkness again. I turned on my side, drawing my blankets higher up around my neck and wishing Jacob could be lying here beside me, but knowing that was impossible. The werewolves were still on high alert tonight, every one of them out patrolling.

My mind flicked back to the aftermath of the battle. Josie had collapsed into Edward's arms after the Volturi had left, sobbing still about her lapse in control as the werewolves came back into sight. Edward translated for the wolves as the pack agreed that Josie was no longer welcome in the area. I'd tried to fight her case, but she shook her head at me, her red eyes miserable.

"No, Bella, they're right. Until I'm older and can completely control myself I shouldn't be around you or any other humans."

"What about the Volturi coming back?"

Carlisle explained how his old friends never travelled during summer as this was Volterra's biggest tourist season and they refused to leave the city for three months when food came so readily to them. The wolves, Josie and myself were all horrified by this information, although I was disgusted with myself for being relieved that the Volturi wouldn't be turning up on my doorstep sometime this week.

"They kill people?" Josie had asked. "Lots of people?"

I remembered the tour group that had come into the castle during my brief visit and had shuddered at the memory.

"I could change that," she whispered, looking thoughtful. "I'll need to be stronger, and I'll need a lot more practice but I could convince them not to. I could convince them not to kill." She was looking excited, hopeful.

"It would be a lot of work," Carlisle said hesitantly. He didn't seem too sure.

"She's very powerful, Carlisle," Edward argued. "Jane couldn't even see the wolves after Josie spoke. They don't even remember their existence here."

"Well I suppose it's possible."

Jacob growled and Edward looked at him. "The wolves still wish us to stay out of Forks and away from humans, and of course we will respect this decision. May we stay at our house or would you like us further away?" Edward was being very polite and didn't argue. I guess he hadn't forgotten the close call by the cliff face earlier. He clearly had received his answer from Jacob as he nodded and said, "Thank you. Your trust means a lot. We will stay and work on Josie's control until the end of the summer and then we will leave to Italy."

I had been upset to hear that Edward and Josie would be leaving but I attempted to mask the feelings on my face. It wasn't the time or place for Jacob to see my pain.

I rolled over in bed and sighed, wishing I could fall asleep. It had been a very long day and I was exhausted, yet my mind was too revved up to sleep. A lot had happened, and a number of things had been set into motion today. I knew Josie felt awful about what she'd done but I couldn't bring myself to be upset by it. Maybe her powers were stronger than she realised and I was still convinced of her goodness, or more likely I just knew my friend too well.

Just then, a grating noise came from my window and I sat straight up in bed, looking startled at the crack in the curtain. A large shaped was climbing in through the window, and I choked down a scream, blinking hard.

Jacob came into focus as he dropped silently onto my floorboards, drawing himself up to his full height and gazing at me from the other side of the room. He stood there silently as we both watched the other, not saying a word. Then he swore quietly and crossed to the bed in two long strides, gathering me up into his warm arms and holding me close.

"Oh Bella," he whispered into my hair, kissing me softly on top of my head.

"Yea," I mumbled back. "I know."

I drew back and he pushed my hair out of my eyes, looking at me intensely. "Today was shit."

I merely nodded. That pretty much summed it up. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have been so-"

"No, Bella, _I'm_ sorry. I wasn't supportive. Today was tough for you and I'm still so wrapped up in the pack-mindset. We're beginning to change, but our feelings towards vampires are so ingrained within us. It's not easy to change everything we know overnight. It's going to take time, and I have to trust you. Completely and wholly."

"Jake, I asked way too much of you today. I made you give orders that were against your nature. That wasn't fair of me."

He grinned. "I never said imprinting on you was going to be easy Bella. You're always going to be involved with vampires, but you're the best thing that's happened to me. And there's a reason that _you're_ my imprint. Times are changing."

I sighed and leaned in to him. "So much has happened in the past twenty four hours," I murmured. "I've put you through so much."

"Stop being so down on yourself, Bella. Nothing here is your fault." He frowned at me. "This life isn't easy or normal, and the choices you make are difficult. Just do what you feel is right and I will stand by you. I promise to stand by you…as long as you don't do anything stupid," he added, tweaking my nose and making me smile.

"No more running away," I promised. "You're a part of everything I do now."

He laughed. "Well maybe not everything. I heard that Jess chick threatening to take you shopping next week and there's no way I'm going to be a part of that."

I smiled and stood on my tiptoes to press my lips against his.

"I wish I could stay," he murmured, pulling me into him, pressing our hips together and deepening the kiss, wrapping his hands in my hair.

I moaned softly into his lips, running my hands up his sides, tracing the strong muscles of his back. "Then stay." I whispered between kisses.

"I wish I could. I have to get back to the others." He moaned as I ran my tongue over his top lip, begging entrance. "You're going to be the death of me," he whispered, grabbing me by the waist and lifting me up. I wondered if he realised just how true those words would be one day.

Pushing this morose thought aside, I wrapped my legs around his middle as we stumbled backwards towards the bed, collapsing on top of it.

"Stay," I murmured, kissing every part of his face I could. "Stay stay stay."

I got pretty close to convincing him to abandon his werewolf duties, but finally he pulled himself away from me, making me promise to come down to La Push first thing in the morning. Resignedly, I let him go and crawled back into bed, letting sleep finally take me, already anticipating the morning.

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**Thanks so much for reading. Please leave me a review! xx**


	23. Chapter 23

**AN: Wow, I am so sorry! Can't believe how long it's been since my last update... Hope you enjoy this chapter! As a side note, I had some concern from readers about Bella's comment that she would be the death of Jacob - I only meant it as he would choose mortality now that she is his imprint - hope this clears up some of your worries that I'd be killing him off soon :) **

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Charlie was up and getting breakfast when I made my way downstairs the next morning.

"Hi honey, I feel like I haven't seen you in a few days. Did you enjoy the festival on Sunday?"

I nodded, pouring myself a glass of juice. The festival seemed like a dull memory from weeks or months ago.

"Um, Bells, will you be okay to get dinner for yourself tonight?"

"I always get dinner, Dad," I replied, looking at him quizzically. "Why?"

"Well, I'm going over to Sue Clearwater's after work. She has a few household jobs that need taking care of so I told her I'd do it. She's gonna make some dinner while I'm down there."

"Oh, I see how it is," I grinned at him. "Found a new cook now that I've graduated have you?"

He blushed. "You're not leaving though, are you? Your mom said you were gonna stay in Forks for another year; get some work experience before starting college next year."

"Don't worry, you can't get rid of me that easy. I'll be hanging around for a while longer."

He smirked. "I'm sure this has _nothing_ to do with Jacob…"

"No actually, it doesn't. I don't make my life decisions based on my boyfriend thank you very much," I replied snottily but he was grinning.

"Ok, ok, keep your hair on. I was only joking." He was still grinning as he finished his breakfast and left the house. Clearly my use of the "b" word had put him in a good mood.

I finished cleaning up breakfast then ran back upstairs, getting myself ready for the day. I had strange butterflies in my stomach as I thought about a whole day with Jacob, uninterrupted.

We had come so close to making love the other night. We'd seen each other, touched each other. It was addicting. I wanted more - I wanted it all. As I drove through the rainy roads of Forks I wondered what had changed in me these past few months.

I'd gone from fearing Jacob's love and fearing physical intimacy with him to the other end of the spectrum. Was it because he'd imprinted and I was now sure of him? Or was it a change in me?

Somewhere along the way I'd become sure in myself – who I was and what I wanted. In many ways I'd always been a masochist – denying myself happiness because I felt I didn't deserve it or I wasn't good enough. Leaving Phoenix and coming to Forks had been one of my most masochistic acts ever, although I didn't know at the time that it was probably the best decision of my life. By exiling myself, I was allowing others the happiness of not putting up with me. I saw myself as a burden, and by removing myself from my mother's life I was improving it.

Yet, over the last year I had come to value myself as a person, and realised that I was worth more than that. Now I could see that people love me for who I am.

I was so deep in thought I nearly missed the turn off to Jacob's house and finally found the boy elbow deep in the hood of a car in his garage. I knocked on the open door and he looked up startled, but smiled when he saw me.

"Not often you can sneak up on a werewolf," he said, wiping his hands on an old rag and kissing me sweetly. "Sorry, I was really occupied with this."

"Is this someone else's car?" I asked, raising an eyebrow at the peeling green paint. I was worried 'car' was a loose interpretation of the scrap metal sitting before me.

"Nope," he said proudly. "This is my new baby. It's a 1957 First Generation Ford Thunderbird."

I nodded, pretending to understand. "That's a type of car, right?"

He laughed and grabbed my hand, walking me around his new rusty acquisition. "It has a 5L Y-block, 215 horsepower 3-speed manual transmission. I've got two four-barrel Holley carburettors with a Paxton supercharger which I'm going to install."

I looked at him blankly.

"I'm going to paint it red."

I laughed. "I hear that makes cars go faster."

"You sleep ok last night?" He asked, leaning against the hood and holding my hands.

I shrugged. Truthfully I'd had some pretty bad dreams but I didn't want to worry him. "Would have been better with you there."

"Tonight, I promise. No hint of vampires around anywhere last night so I've given the boys the day off."

"And girl."

"Right. So what do you want to do today?"

In answer I leaned forward and kissed him hard. He groaned in response, letting his legs fall open and pulling me between them so our bodies were pressed together. "That definitely sounds like a good idea," he said pausing between each word to kiss me. "But first –"

He reached into my back pocket and pulled out my phone, hitting the off button and watching to ensure the screen went black. As he was doing this, I noticed the dark circles under his eyes and realised how tired he looked.

"When was the last time you slept, Jake?"

He thought about it for a moment. "Saturday night?"

"Jacob! It's Tuesday. First thing's first – bed."

"Sounds good to me," he replied huskily leaning down and kissing my jaw line.

"I mean it. You must be exhausted. Come on, have a sleep, I'll find something to occupy myself with."

Jacob grumbled all the way back to the house but was asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow. There wasn't a lot for me to do then. I wandered around the living room, browsing their small collection of books and wishing I'd brought some homework with me. Except of course I didn't have homework – I'd finished high school. An odd weightless feeling tingled through me as I realised I was free. Not just from school but free from Victoria, free from fear. For the summer at least.

There was a light knock on the door and Emily popped her head in. "Oh hey, Bella," she greeted me, walking in to the room. "Just thought I'd drop round a casserole for Billy. With Jacob patrolling so much I fear he's been living off of TV dinners."

"Oh, thank you. He's not home right now, and Jacob's dead to the world but I'm sure you can just put it in the fridge."

"I think all the boys are unconscious at the moment," she smiled as I put the kettle on. "Sam's been asleep all morning."

I busied myself with making tea as I spoke, "Emily I was wondering if I could have a word with Sam later. I said something yesterday that I really shouldn't have. It was in the heat of the moment but still it was completely out of line."

"It's ok, Bella," she said kindly, taking a mug from me with a word of thanks and blowing on the hot tea. "He told me what happened and you have nothing to apologise for. From the sound of it, you were just trying to get our wolves to see sense." I noticed the way she'd said 'our' wolves and it made me smile. She continued, "Accidents happen, and forgiveness is essential. It sounds to me like the vampire who tried to attack you was distraught by what she'd done. Just like with Sam, the supernatural being inside took over for a moment, she lost control for just a moment. She should be forgiven that. Wolves see the world in black and white and I believe that you are here to introduce the grey."

I'd never heard Emily say quite so much before but her words were powerful. In her way, she was very wise and I knew she could understand the mindset of the wolves better than I could. She had been with Sam from the very beginning, before the pack had even existed. If anyone understood, it was Emily.

I twisted my mug nervously in my hands trying to summon the courage to ask. "Emily, doesn't it ever bother you, that the whole pack knows, and can _see_, everything that you…well…everything you and Sam do?" I felt a blush creeping into my cheeks and couldn't quite meet her eyes.

She considered my question for a moment. "At first, yes. After Paul and Jared joined the pack I wouldn't let Sam touch me for days. It was mortifying to think they knew everything we did each night." She shrugged. "But Sam's improved at controlling his thoughts and at the end of the day, our expression of love is nothing to be embarrassed about. You're worried about getting too intimate with Jacob for fear of the others?"

"Not exactly," I laughed awkwardly. "I don't think that would stop us anyway. We've had more vampire problems lately than wolf problems."

"Well, things should be pretty vampire-free for a little while at least," Emily said, smiling over her mug.

"Mm," I agreed. "But now I'm suddenly nervous again. Everything was just so perfect the other night and it didn't happen. I don't think we'll get another moment like that again."

"Listen," Emily began, reaching over and patting my hand. "If you're not sure that you're ready then don't do it. But the most important thing is the two of you – not the timing or location or atmosphere. Sam's and my first time was mid-morning in the back of his car," she laughed. "But it was perfect because it was the two of us. I know it's difficult, but you can't think about the rest of the pack. They all have the same problem and none of them want to know or see…well maybe Seth excluded. Apparently he's quite persistent in learning as much as he can from the older boys."

I laughed. "That doesn't surprise me."

"You should talk to Jacob about this," she suggested with a half shrug as she leant back in her chair and sipped from her mug. "As difficult as it sometimes can be, communication is vital."

"Yea," I mumbled, a little embarrassed. "Well, I've never been amazing at expressing my feelings." I hesitated. "It's not that I don't feel things, because I do. I'm just not so good at saying it."

"Well it's not easy." She smiled at me sympathetically. "It's one of the scariest things, putting yourself out there and being vulnerable, not sure how the other person will react once you've laid your private thoughts out for him to see. But Bella, he's your imprint. And I know that you don't want imprinting to be a factor; I know you want a normal relationship – whatever that is. But just think of it as a security blanket; Jacob's never going to reject you."

"The person I trusted the most in the world left me. And as much as I'm over him, and over our relationship, that's affected me." I couldn't believe how easy it was to open up to Emily. I was saying and admitting things I didn't even realise. "I love Jacob, I do. So much. But it's like my body has subconsciously developed this defence mechanism – it's like I'm always tensed, ready to run."

Emily reached over and squeezed my hand. "The scariest thing in the world is to jump, not knowing if there's going to be someone down there at the bottom to catch you." She grinned then. "Seems to me you're a natural cliff-diver Bella."

I smiled back, so grateful for her advice. She was right of course. And I suddenly wanted to do as she'd suggested – jump. Let myself be vulnerable and let myself trust again. I wanted to give myself to Jacob. And not just parts of me – I wanted to give everything to him. He deserved that much.

Emily cleared her throat and stood. "I should probably head home. But before I go, Billy told me you were looking for work experience?"

I nodded.

"Give me a call sometime. I know the editor of 'Forks Daily', the local paper; they often take on interns. I'll pass along your name if you're interested."

I was and thanked her, not only for the offer but for her advice as well. In many ways Emily had been through it all before, and she had a sense of wisdom about her. I found I trusted her, and was glad she was yet another person in Forks that I could add to my growing list of friends.

Jacob slept all morning and well into the afternoon. I should have headed home to get some much-needed housework done but instead I went to the supermarket and cooked a few meals to freeze down. Emily was right about the Blacks not eating well because of everything that was going on, and I knew Billy enjoyed my meatloaf. Finally, after I'd cooked and cleaned and felt bored with the domestic chores I slipped into Jacob's bedroom and crawled into the bed beside him. Without waking, he pulled me into his arms and I closed my eyes, breathing in his earthy scent.

"Hey," he mumbled, not opening his eyes but squeezing me tightly to him.

"You're awake," I whispered, knowing he could still use a few more hours sleep, but half hoping he'd had enough for the time being.

"Mmhmm, and you're worried."

"No I'm not," I lied, pulling away a little to get a glimpse of his face. His eyes were still tightly closed but a smile played on his lips, twitching the corners up.

"You're all tense." He squeezed me again. "And cuddly. What's up?"

"I'm not allowed to be cuddly?" I protested.

"Bella…"

I sighed. "I just hate waiting. This is the worst."

Jacob knew I wasn't talking about today. His eyebrows furrowed and I tried to suppress the panic bubbling inside my chest. "I know it's difficult, but we have to trust the Cullens. We have the summer, and by then, hopefully things will make more sense. Josie will be stronger, she'll convince the Volturi to forget you."

I nodded but wasn't convinced. I believed in Josie, but that was a big task to accomplish.

"Hey, come on," Jacob murmured, stroking my hair. "How about you get away from here for awhile? I know your mom wants you to visit her in Florida."

"Yea, I guess I could. I know Renee would like that." I thought back to the two plane tickets to Jacksonville I had lying around my room somewhere from my last birthday. I knew Carlisle and Esme had intended for the second ticket to be used by Edward but that wasn't about to happen. "You could come too if you wanted…" I suggested, tracing the line of his collarbone and not looking up into his chocolate eyes.

"I could use a vacation," he replied contemplating my offer. "You don't think Renee will mind?"

"Definitely not, she loved you. A little _too_ much if you ask me…"

He dug his fingertips into my ribs, tickling me and making me gasp for air.


	24. Chapter 24

**AN: I know, I know, and I am very sorry! Yes it has been about 4 months since the last update BUT I do have plenty of good excuses! Not interested?...Ok well, how about I make it up to you with this chapter. Also, I have the next two (yes TWO!) chapters already written! How amazing am I? Still mad?**

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I hurried upstairs when I got home, and pulled out my cell phone. I hesitated before dialling, unsure of my decision. I wanted a vacation and I wanted to see Renee, but was leaving Forks really such a good idea? Or was I more afraid to leave behind Jacob and Edward? Calling my mother would mean the inevitable – she would fuss, she would fawn and she would convince me that Florida was the place I needed to be. How exactly does a daughter tell her mother, 'sorry but I just couldn't possible leave the vampires and werewolves alone for a weekend to fend for themselves'?

Sighing, I scrolled through my contacts until I found Renee and hit the call button. It nearly rang out and just as I was about to give up, my mom answered, her voice soft and breathy as always.

"Hey Mom, it's me," I said, my voice cracking.

"Bella! You've called at the right time, Phil and I got back from Orlando just this minute. How have all your graduation parties been?"

"Yeah, not bad I guess." I faltered. I could barely remember the graduation parties after everything else that had happened. "Happy to be back in Florida?"

"Well, I never like to speak ill of Forks…"

I snorted, but she pressed on.

"…but I don't know how you stand it there, honey. I think I'd go crazy if I were you. _Although_," her voice was sly now and I thought I could see what was coming, "the eye candy has greatly improved since my day! That Jacob certainly isn't bad to look at."

"He's not just there for decoration," I said hotly, flopping down on my bed and gazing up at the cracked ceiling. I noticed it could use another paint of coat. "Anyway, I think you did enough looking for the both of us during your visit."

I could picture Renee brushing the comment away with a bat of her hand, and she pressed on, "So when are you coming to see us? I don't want the beach house going to waste this summer; you kids could use some fun! And Phil's been looking at boats lately – imagine the fun we could have, spending the day floating down the river on the boat, or out on the ocean!" She sounded so excited at the idea I couldn't bare to let her down.

"Actually, I _was_ calling to see if you'd be up for a visitor of two. I mean," I hurried, intent on making sure she knew it would not be a long trip, "I'll need to be back in Forks fairly soon. I have to start looking for an internship."

"Of course, of course," gushed Renee, already breathless with excitement. "Even just a couple of days would be fantastic, when are you arriving?"

The sun had begun to set by the time I finally hung up the phone, and based on the charred smells wafting up from the kitchen, Charlie was home.

"Have a good day?" he asked, as I ambled into the kitchen. He was standing over a saucepan, stirring occasionally and looking rather pleased with himself. "Susan gave me a recipe for spaghetti bolognese."

"I can see that," I replied, gazing over his shoulder. "What happened, the supermarket ran out of jars of pasta sauce?"

"Her and the kids are coming round for dinner tonight. I thought I'd make something special."

"No offense Dad, but all you're making is a mess." I took the wooden spoon from his hand and tried to separate the burnt onion from the meat. "And did you have to invite her kids? Leah and I don't exactly get on."

"Go easy on her, Bella. That girl has had a rough time of it."

I blushed, feeling embarrassed about my unsympathetic attitude. After all, she'd lost her boyfriend to Emily, and then her dad had died of a heart attack. She had a right to be a little bit snippy. I opened a can of tinned tomatoes and threw them into the pan, stirring the sauce grumpily.

The evening was an unusual affair, with much joke-cracking by Seth, resentful looks from Leah, and Sue who seemed to mother Charlie nearly as much as I did. Even though their stay didn't last much longer than a few hours, I felt it was an age before I could finally excuse myself to my bedroom.

There I found a large grinning surprise waiting for me, already spread-eagled on my too-small bed.

"Hi there sleeping beauty," I laughed, closing the door and hurrying over to him. "You look slightly more human after a good day's rest."

"Feel it too," he commented, pulling me into a tight hug. "Well, as human as I can be anyway. How was dinner?"

I shrugged, too intent on kissing every inch of his face I could reach to respond.

"Woah, slow down there, cowgirl…"

"Wolf-girl," I corrected him, letting my kisses trail down his neck.

He laughed, "Ok then, wolf-girl…" he pulled me hard into him and then in a split second had me pinned. "_My_ girl…"

"Definitely your girl," I whispered, biting my bottom lip and grinning up at him.

"Damn, Bella, you're getting sexier by the second." He sighed and sat up, freeing my arms. "But unfortunately I can hear Charlie coming upstairs. I'd better hide in the closet."

The hem of his jeans had only just disappeared out of sight when Charlie stuck his head round the door. "You alright, Bells? Dinner wasn't too bad was it?"

"No, Dad, it was really good. The Clearwater's are nice." I grinned at him. "Sue especially."

He blushed a little and scratched his head. "Yea well, I'm just trying to help out as much as I can now that Harry's gone."

I nodded. "You can tell she really appreciates it, Dad. And I think Seth and Leah do too," I added honestly. As much as Leah didn't seem to like me, she had been very courteous to Charlie. And Seth seemed to positively worship the ground he walked on.

"Well, if you're gone next year…" he began, looking forlorn.

"I don't have any plans to leave Forks," I told him again, truthfully. "I like it here – it's my home."

Charlie nodded, then heaved a great sigh and hiked his jeans up. "Alright Kiddo, sleep tight."

"'Night Dad."

ooo

I could feel the sun's heat stinging on my bare skin and knew the sensible thing to do would be to re-apply the sunblock laying on the floor by my lounge chair. Instead, I readjusted my sunglasses and pulled my hat lower over my forehead. I'd forgotten how much I loved the sun.

"Bella," my mom called, her voice sing-songing as she approached. Lazily I opened one eye and smiled as she sauntered towards me, her sarong hanging from her hips, two large pineapple-adorned glasses in her hands. "Virgin pina coladas!" she declared as she handed one to me. "Unless you'd like a little rum?" she winked.

"No, thanks I'm good," I half laughed, sucking on the straw. It wasn't bad either…the chilled pineapple was a world away from the warm sodas I had got used to at home. I smiled to myself, wondering at what point Forks, and not Renee, had become my home.

"Ah well, only a few more years 'til you're 21. And speaking of virgin…"

"Nice segway, Mom," I muttered sarcastically, taking another long drink before finally frowning up at her. "You actually made these cocktails just so you could use that line, didn't you?"

Renee laughed. "My middle-aged daughter," she mused. "But seriously, it's probably something we should talk about. You do have a boyfriend after all and I can't imagine Charlie has talked to you much about it."

"_You_'re going to give _me_ the sex talk, Mom? _Really_?"

She had the decency to look a little embarrassed. "Well, yes ok I know I might not be the best person to talk to you about all of this, but I am your mother and it's important you have someone you can discuss your sex life with."

"This is mortifying," I replied, not meeting her eyes as I gazed down at the drink. However I was relieved that it was Renee and not Charlie who was attempting to discuss this with me. "And I don't have a sex life. Still a virgin. Like the drinks."

"Ah, well…" she looked a little guilty and continued, "I may have added a _little_ rum…" She took a sip of her own drink and frowned at me reproachfully. "But honey, why on earth would you still be a virgin? Have you _seen_ your boyfriend? He's a bit of a hunk, Bella. And you're clearly nuts about each other."

I shook my head at her. "_You__'__re_ nuts, Mom. Your job isn't to convince me to lose my virginity."

She looked puzzled for a moment then nodded. "You're right – sorry, honey. I suppose I just wanted to say, when you do decide the time is right, there are some condoms in the top drawer in the bathroom."

"Gross, Mom," I groaned, wishing I could plug my fingers into my ears and drown her out. "I'm not listening anymore."

"Ok, ok. I just thought we should talk about this before Jake arrives this evening."

I raised an eyebrow at her casual nickname for my boyfriend. "'Jake'? Since when has he been Jake?"

She just laughed, her face lighting up to look 10 years younger and I could see the woman my dad had fallen so madly in love with all those years ago. "Oh Bella, you need to chill!" She pinched my nose lightly and thrust my drink back into my hand before wandering back into the house.

I sighed and pushed my sunglasses back up my nose. My mom could be batty at times but her question had got me thinking…why hadn't I lost my virginity? Bad circumstances I suppose but if I was to be honest, there _had_ been time… Maybe Jacob had changed his mind. I shook my head and smiled. He'd imprinted on me. I was his imprint, and so he'd give me anything I wanted. Very rarely did I let myself think like this - I didn't like to be too over-confident in our relationship because the last time someone had left me I'd gone to pieces. I wanted to be strong enough to not let that happen again.

Groaning, I sat up and reached for the sunblock. Yet again, I was over-analysing the situation. I'd only been gone for Jacob for a week and I'd spoken to him twice on the phone so why did I suddenly feel so unsure about him? It was ridiculous.

Later in the afternoon, after Phil had left to pick up Jacob from the airport, the doorbell echoed loudly in the entrance.

"Bella, can you grab that?" Renee called. She was busy making herself up in the bathroom and I had to laugh at her vanity. It hadn't been a joke, she really did have a crush on Jake. I flipped on the light switch as I walked through the entrance hall towards the front door, half-hoping that it would be Phil and Jacob back from the airport, although realistically I knew they would be another half an hour at least.

I could see a dark outline standing in the setting shadows through the twisted glass of the front door and my heart dropped as this figure was clearly too short to be Jacob. Twisting the key in the lock, I opened the door and let out an audible gasp when I saw who was standing on the doorstep.

"Edward!"

* * *

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